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Right and my son graduated high school at 16, college at 20, medical school at 24. His wife the same at 17, 20 and 24 (she finish college in 3 years). Making either wait a few years would have been a set back and literal waste of time. In fact my son's only real gripe with my wife and me is that we didn't let him begin college at 14 or 15.
Don't make some kids suffer because some others grow up later.
If your kids are extraordinary or prodigies as you say, then you already know they will probably be successful no matter what path they take.
However, overall advice should not be based on outliers and exceptions, but on the great majority of kid’s experiences.
Not to mention how it could hurt the self-esteem of those redshirted in preschool to be the same age as people who have accomplished so much more in the same amount of time.
This is the concern that our daughter will now face with her own children. Their elder daughter is already being singled out by her preschool teacher as being advanced far beyond her classmates in 3K. A parent always has to try to make the right decisions for the child who is there at the time, knowing that the consequences of some of those decisions may cut off other options forever.
I was glad I had been "double promoted" back in the 1960s, but I didn't like how it was done. Se we made the decision to put our daughter in half-day kindergarten a year early at age 4 in a private school. At the end of the year, we considered that if we left her in first grade and it didn't work out, we could always enroll her in first grade at the local public school. But if we put her in the public school kindergarten and it didn't work out, her place at the private school first grade would have been filled.
We kept her in the private school another year. She enrolled in the second grade in public school the following year. Aside from having the wrong teeth fall out during elementary school and being too young for driver's ed in high school (like me), all went well and I just told the next part of the story in my previous post.
Each child is different. There is no one size fits all. Know your child. Then you can better prepare them for adulthood when the time is upon them.
I’ve known instances where parents thought they knew their kids and their kids went wild when they went off to college. I knew of a girl who had been raised very conservatively, but when she got to college, drank excessively, whor*d around, etc..
If they really were mature enough to make adult decisions, then so many of them would not come out of college with massive student loans they struggle to pay for decades.
That is an indication of lack of guidance and real life experience.
Many adults of all ages also take out loans that they struggle to pay for decades, or lose their car, their house, etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizap
A lot of under 21 year olds are getting into bars.. Why are the police not raiding the bars and checking IDs?
Well, if the kids still live at home, I would think the parents would put a stop to it. If you aware of where this is happening, and it alarms you, report it to your elected politicians. Afraid to be identified? Put it in a letter.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizap
Strongly disagree with this. Many states are allowing high schools students to take college courses while still in high schools. I have personally seen students graduate at 20 who did not have the level of maturity needed to enter the workforce in a post-graduation position. A couple of years can make a huge difference in a young person’s maturity.
I have seen 40 year olds that don't have the maturity to make wise adult decisions, so just how long and what kind of testing do we need in place for these people who aren't "mature". Also, how do you think people become "mature", by staying at home and in school?
Quote:
Originally Posted by EDS_
Right and my son graduated high school at 16, college at 20, medical school at 24. His wife the same at 17, 20 and 24 (she finish college in 3 years). Making either wait a few years would have been a set back and literal waste of time. In fact my son's only real gripe with my wife and me is that we didn't let him begin college at 14 or 15.
Don't make some kids suffer because some others grow up later.
My son really suffered in high school, as he said they went over it again and again and again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizap
Your son and his wife may be the exception, but generally kids need the extra 2 years to mature.
In your OP, you were thinking that even with the extra 2 years, it would not be enough, so is 18 old enough to be mature? Kids don't mature living at home, it is like the world is "on-the-job" training for "mature", and some never get there!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizap
The issue is that many, many parents do not know what their kids are doing when they are away at college. You may have raised your kid and done everything right, and think he/she will act accordingly, but this is often not the case. The legal drinking age should be 21 and should be strictly enforced at bars around college campuses. There should be tight regulations on frat and sorority houses. There are way too many examples of young men who have died from alcohol poisoning, many of whose parents thought they had raised them to have good judgement.
Then the answer is that parents just not send their kids away to college, but keep them at home where they watch them. Maybe read the police reports, or better yet, go and look at who is the local jail as they give the ages, this should help you realize that there is no magic age of maturity. And, what is "maturity", could you define exactly what you mean? Some people are smart and make good decisions, and they are considered to be "mature", but some people just aren't and never will make good decisions.
All that anyone can do is educate their children, teach them good moral behavior, and let them know they are always there to listen. They can let them know if their grades drop, there is no more money coming from mom and/or dad.
Wanting the colleges, the local police, etc. to babysit your adult age kids, yeah, I think they have better things to do. Remember "you can't fix stupid", and constantly supervising for it is impossible.
If your kids are extraordinary or prodigies as you say, then you already know they will probably be successful no matter what path they take.
However, overall advice should not be based on outliers and exceptions, but on the great majority of kid’s experiences.
Maybe I should be more clear. I support a more individualized approach than we have now. Some kids are are advanced, others on par and still others behind in both the academic and the maturity realms. I'm not for sending every kid on track for college to college early. I'm saying we need to pay more attention to those who are "ahead". And further we should not as the OP seems to suggest delay sending kids to college because a few are not ready and some well noted horrific outcomes.
Many adults of all ages also take out loans that they struggle to pay for decades, or lose their car, their house, etc.
Well, if the kids still live at home, I would think the parents would put a stop to it. If you aware of where this is happening, and it alarms you, report it to your elected politicians. Afraid to be identified? Put it in a letter.
I have seen 40 year olds that don't have the maturity to make wise adult decisions, so just how long and what kind of testing do we need in place for these people who aren't "mature". Also, how do you think people become "mature", by staying at home and in school?
My son really suffered in high school, as he said they went over it again and again and again.
In your OP, you were thinking that even with the extra 2 years, it would not be enough, so is 18 old enough to be mature? Kids don't mature living at home, it is like the world is "on-the-job" training for "mature", and some never get there!
Then the answer is that parents just not send their kids away to college, but keep them at home where they watch them. Maybe read the police reports, or better yet, go and look at who is the local jail as they give the ages, this should help you realize that there is no magic age of maturity. And, what is "maturity", could you define exactly what you mean? Some people are smart and make good decisions, and they are considered to be "mature", but some people just aren't and never will make good decisions.
All that anyone can do is educate their children, teach them good moral behavior, and let them know they are always there to listen. They can let them know if their grades drop, there is no more money coming from mom and/or dad.
Wanting the colleges, the local police, etc. to babysit your adult age kids, yeah, I think they have better things to do. Remember "you can't fix stupid", and constantly supervising for it is impossible.
"Eighteen" is still a teen. No, not mature enough to be living on their own. A generation or two ago, more college freshmen lived at home than in dorms. Those that did live on campus had to adhere to strict rules that really were enforced. Nowadays, the freshman experience is more about having a good time before real life starts. No more cleaning your room, taking out the trash, washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, or mowing the lawn because you are not expected to do all that as a residential freshman. College freshmen still need strict guidance and they're not getting enough of it.
I’ve known instances where parents thought they knew their kids and their kids went wild when they went off to college. I knew of a girl who had been raised very conservatively, but when she got to college, drank excessively, whor*d around, etc..
I don't think I made myself clear at all. We raised our daughter very liberally. Her boyfriend lived with us while she was still in high school until she went away to college because he was not welcome at home. (Another thread entirely) She had been given alcohol since she was five, therefore it had no mystique for her.
My point is that all those behaviors that parents try to stifle by bringing their children up conservatively become the markers of rebellion, or they are the consequence of simply finding joy in being young. What a wonderful thing! What you call drinking excessively and w***ing around, we called partying. It's fun if you do it carefully.
Despite attending a party school and its legendary frat parties, my daughter rebelled against her liberal upbringing and is now a staunch conservative. She was lucky enough to find her true love while she was young enough for him to become the One, if you know what I mean. She was mature enough to know how to handle the all the aspects of an intimate relationship.
If kids go wild when they go to college, maybe they should have gotten it out of their system when they were young enough to avoid serious consequences and while they were still under the direct supervision of their parents. Kids need to experience the world before being on their own in it. Too many parents ensure that their children have been protected from danger rather than learning how to deal with it.
My parents were too far to the other extreme and didn't always protect us from danger. But having to be on our own so much taught us more than I can relate. And as my sister and I constantly told each other, hardship builds character. We may not have had a carefree childhood, but we had a lot of freedom and built a lot of character. By the time I was 18 I had my own apartment as the alternative to living under my mother's roof with all that entailed. She joined me a couple of years later.
I heard the expression when there was still time to act on it--Youth is wasted on the young. One of the things I often say to people is that I really enjoyed my misspent youth. It makes for great stories!
"Eighteen" is still a teen. No, not mature enough to be living on their own. A generation or two ago, more college freshmen lived at home than in dorms. Those that did live on campus had to adhere to strict rules that really were enforced. Nowadays, the freshman experience is more about having a good time before real life starts. No more cleaning your room, taking out the trash, washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, or mowing the lawn because you are not expected to do all that as a residential freshman. College freshmen still need strict guidance and they're not getting enough of it.
I don't think I made myself clear at all. We raised our daughter very liberally. Her boyfriend lived with us while she was still in high school until she went away to college because he was not welcome at home. (Another thread entirely) She had been given alcohol since she was five, therefore it had no mystique for her.
My point is that all those behaviors that parents try to stifle by bringing their children up conservatively become the markers of rebellion, or they are the consequence of simply finding joy in being young. What a wonderful thing! What you call drinking excessively and w***ing around, we called partying. It's fun if you do it carefully.
Despite attending a party school and its legendary frat parties, my daughter rebelled against her liberal upbringing and is now a staunch conservative. She was lucky enough to find her true love while she was young enough for him to become the One, if you know what I mean. She was mature enough to know how to handle the all the aspects of an intimate relationship.
If kids go wild when they go to college, maybe they should have gotten it out of their system when they were young enough to avoid serious consequences and while they were still under the direct supervision of their parents. Kids need to experience the world before being on their own in it. Too many parents ensure that their children have been protected from danger rather than learning how to deal with it.
My parents were too far to the other extreme and didn't always protect us from danger. But having to be on our own so much taught us more than I can relate. And as my sister and I constantly told each other, hardship builds character. We may not have had a carefree childhood, but we had a lot of freedom and built a lot of character. By the time I was 18 I had my own apartment as the alternative to living under my mother's roof with all that entailed. She joined me a couple of years later.
I heard the expression when there was still time to act on it--Youth is wasted on the young. One of the things I often say to people is that I really enjoyed my misspent youth. It makes for great stories!
Let’s just say we’re not on the same page when it comes to teenage ‘fun and partying’.
They SHOULD be but it is the job of parents to see that they are. That they can do their own laundry, can clean up their own messes and OMG, make meal of spaghetti, or macaroni and cheese if nothing else! They should know how to use their time productively or at least know enough to improve.
They'll still have to learn how to drink and handle their own hangovers, but whatever.
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Excellent post!