How do people have time to be a parent? (childcare, divorced, baby)

[TamaraSavannah]

Well, two things.

First, do it when you are young.

Secondly, realize that there is only so much time in the day and that some things have to give in order for other things to be done. I run into these calculation perils constantly as I try to figure how I was able to do so much before when I lived life on after burners but can't do it now.

In my case, a lot of it involved being on a job that allowed me to cram so much of my life to my time on the job so my off time was my own and open to other things. The job I have now forces me to do much of the stuff I did on the job now on my own time. Another thing was that before they told me I was a Type II, that's when I was living on after burners, I was able to push when I ate and much of it on the run......I can't do that now.

Finally, okay three things, realize one's limitations before taking a big step. Years ago, soon after I started living on the ranch, there was a puppy alert at an animal shelter and I was seriously thinking of getting one. My Brother put out to me that my Vampirelle life (night shift worker) at the time did not give me the time, the right time, to be raising a puppy.......so I didn't.

Originally Posted by Physics Guy

You have a schedule with loads of nice, leisurely time built in. When you have a little kid that changes. At times the changes are frustrating and you long for the ability to schedule things around your schedule not theirs. At other times it feels great. After the first year it really isn't hard it's simply different.

Unless either the parent or kid is sick. Any sort of illness is much harder with a kid unless you have a full time at home partner/spouse.

On that note, I would suggest making a list of every little thing you do in your life, making a checklist of everything that has to be done in the day, and getting into the habit, doing the lifestyle of using that checklist everyday. Second to this is building up a backlog of supplies, a method of backups, so if things run short, you are not totally up the river at the door of the Big Home without a paddle.

Yesterday, I had to get a cat to the Vet for a drop off and I was running late. I rushed some stuff, dropped items in my bag to do at work, had changed some of the kitty litters earlier, took care of the other cats sufficiently, and off we went, on time on the schedule.

Ten minutes down the country roads, I had a thought of, "did I leave the water on?" On a well fed ranch, leaving a system on that leaks can be very expensive, so it was important enough to turn around and return home and check and sure enough, I had.

Being in a rush had caused me to over look turning one valve and there I was.

So make a check list, paper is best, or at the very least, put a time block in the day that is an absolute, cannot be ignored, where you stop and review for a few minutes everything that has to be done to ensure it is done. But paper and a clipboard is better.................


....................lest we forget about those terrible tragedies that other people experience.

[ticking]

Originally Posted by lepoisson

I barely have time for my own life so the idea of starting a family and having children seems totally unattainable at this point. How do people manage children with busy work lives?

Being energized by having the child(ren) helped.
If you are going to be a good parent your schedule would be very different than your current one.
If you are looking at it as a chore, and how it will fit into your schedule then you should wait.
If you are single and have no support it will be an extra challenge you may not be ready to take on.

[wac_432]

Below is your new schedule (once your kid reaches the “easy” stage):
6:00 - Wake up and get ready for work.
6:30 - Make the kid’s breakfast and lunch.
6:45 - Wake up the kid(s), send them to eat.
7:00 - Pack the kid’s lunch, school bag, yell at them to brush their hair, teeth, wash face, etc.
7:15 - Yell at kid(s) to get their jackets/shoes and get in the car/bike while you get your work stuff together and into the car/bike.
7:30 - drive/ride/walk kids to school and yourself to work.
8:30 to 18:00 - Work (need more hours to pay for kids stuff)
18:30 - Pick up kids from afterschool care, because you are a terrible parent who lets strangers raise your children.
19:00 - Cook dinner.
19:30 - Eat with kids
20:00 - Help kids with homework
20:30 - Help kids with piano
21:00 - Put kids to bed.
21:30 - Do dishes, clean up, empty school bags, fill out school paperwork.
22:30 - Run errands/shopping if you have someone who can watch the kids.
00:00 - Sleep.


There! Fixed it for you! By the way, this phase is WAY easier than earlier phases when the kids are less capable. Then you have to schedule time for changing diapers, feeding them more often, shorter school/child care, etc.

[msRB311]

I know of someone who is pregnant with their 6th kid...so i guess some people find the time.

[saibot]

All I can say is that if I had had to work full time, I would not have chosen to have children.

I am firmly of the opinion that children need one parent who has more time to spend with them than the edges of the day.

[msRB311]

Originally Posted by saibot

All I can say is that if I had had to work full time, I would not have chosen to have children.

I am firmly of the opinion that children need one parent who has more time to spend with them than the edges of the day.

So you're against families that have two working people?

[2mares]

Originally Posted by saibot

All I can say is that if I had had to work full time, I would not have chosen to have children.

I am firmly of the opinion that children need one parent who has more time to spend with them than the edges of the day.

Makes life much easier.
All of the women who work with me who had babies either quit or went to part time.
Daycare issues and overall stress of being stretched too thin caused some strife in their family life.

[lepoisson]

I'm glad people are being honest here because we need more people to be honest about the positives and negatives of raising children.

[saibot]

Originally Posted by msRB311

So you're against families that have two working people?

"Against"? I'm not against them, in the sense that I think they should be banned.

I do think having a baby/small child who is in full-time daycare while the parent or parents work full-time is much less than ideal for everyone concerned.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by saibot

I do think having a baby/small child who is in full-time daycare while the parent or parents work full-time is much less than ideal for everyone concerned.

I couldn’t rep you again.

Originally Posted by lepoisson

How do people have time to be a parent?

I’m pregnant with our 1st child. We’re super happy, but I’m starting to think about this a lot. I know I’m going to have to cut back on some work, but I’d like to keep my telenursing two days a week…if it works. We would have a nanny or my mom in our home during those times. Ngl. I could never see our baby in day care or in the full time hands of someone we didn’t know. I like that I have a few friends who are home but their children will be a little older by the time ours is born.