How do people have time to be a parent? (teens, toddlers, clothes)

[BigCityDreamer]

Originally Posted by trusso11783

Priorities. If you want children, you find the time. Plain and simple. It just works out.

Pretty much this.

It's fascinating how people who say "I don't have time to do that" spend hours a day watching TV, surfing the internet or texting on the phone.

Yeah sure, you don't have time.

[springfieldva]

Originally Posted by lepoisson

Based on my current schedule, I cannot even begin to imagine how people have time to fit children into their schedule.

Below is my schedule:

7:30 - Wake up
7:30 to 8:30 - Eat breakfast and get ready for work
8:30 - leave for work
9:00 to 17:00 - Work
17:00 - leave work
17:15 - Maybe run any possible errands
17:30 to 18:00 - Arrive at home
18:00 to 18:30 - Decompress and relax
18:30 - Cook dinner
19:00 to 19:45 - Eat dinner
19:45 to 22:00 - Relax, watch TV, read a book
22:30 - Go to sleep

Two times a week I tutor college students from 18:30 to 20:00 to earn some extra money and keep up my language speaking abilities.

I barely have time for my own life so the idea of starting a family and having children seems totally unattainable at this point. How do people manage children with busy work lives?

Dang. I never worked a 9-5 job even before kids. My jobs were more along the lines of the 60 hour per week jobs. I still remember having a lot more downtime then than I had as a stay at home mom with small children - I remember that stage as being in a constant state of exhaustion, running on fumes and getting by with a chronic lack of sleep.

In our case, after our kids were born, my husband continued to work long hours and I quit my job to stay at home with the kids. If I had continued to work we probably would have had to hire a nanny which wouldn't have made much sense in our situation as I didn't make the money to justify such an expense.

[MKTwet]

Being a parent is not much different than being a supervisor or manager. Not everyone is cut out to be one.

[2mares]

Originally Posted by MKTwet

Being a parent is not much different than being a supervisor or manager. Not everyone is cut out to be one.

I would beg to differ (bolded). But agree with the second part.

[usayit]

Originally Posted by MKTwet

Being a parent is not much different than being a supervisor or manager. Not everyone is cut out to be one.

While I wouldn't say that it is not much different, I do find myself applying some of the skills I have learned as a manager (it hasn't been that long) to my household has helped a bit. Soft skills, organizational, and prioritization in particular.

[BostonMike7]

In my house, the schedule is like this.

My wife is a teacher, and i am an engineer with a lot of flexibility in my schedule. We have 3 kids. 10,10 and 5. We are a blended family so the two 10-year olds alternate schedule with other parents as well.

5:30AM: 10-year old wakes up, gets dressed on his own, makes breakfast, starts to occupy himself for the AM
6:30AM: wife wakes up, gets ready for work, out the door at 7:15AM to work
7:15AM: Myself and 5-year old wake up, get dressed, have breakfast get ready for school/work
8:00AM: drive two kids to school
8:45-9:00AM: Arrive in office, or take my first meeting at home if i WFH that day

typical workday ensues

2:30-3:00PM: Kids need to be picked up. usually it's my wife although sometimes it is myself. On occasion it's another family member if my wife has to stay at school. vast majority of time wife is with kids from 2:30-on but at least one day a week I do the pickup. On those days, i usually work at home from 3PM-4:30pm while kiddos entertain themselves/each other.

3-4PM: Depending on my schedule I head home. Might stop and do an errand like go to Home Depot to get bags of mulch to landscape the house over the weekend.
4:30-6:00: Play with kids, do yard work, house work, etc. Mostly me and the 5 year old play. 10 year old will find some neighborhood kids and play basketball at their house or at our house. In the winter me and the kids usually entertain ourselves in the house. Wife will use this time to do stuff for work (teacher prep and other job related tasks)
5:30-6pm: get dinner ready. Either myself or my wife will work on that depending on the meal. Sometimes my wife goes to Yogo during this time.
6:30-7:30: Dinner, get kids settled, start clean up. Wife and I tag team this one. She might get kids ready, i'll handle the dishes, trash, and some cleanup.
7:30-8:15: 10 year old hops in bed does some reading. Wife and I tag team the 5-year old. Whoever is free just does misc cleanup tasks and other duties.

Wife 8:15-10PM: Usually get ready for bed, although she's taking a few courses so she might also do it during this time. We sometimes watch shows together and hang out as well

Me 8pm-10pm. Sometimes work meetings with asia. Sometimes free time. My home workstation is built around a treadmill, so i usually walk/jog during meetings. I'll usually spend time with wife as well during these times.

10pm-midnight: wife falls asleep (usually during show). I sneak off to garage and continue working on a couple vehicle restoration projects I am working on (almost done) and film some content for my YouTube channel. Wrap up, shower, asleep by 12. I do not do this every night. Some nights I am asleep by 10PM. I might do 2 nights in the garage

1 kid played basketball so work a practice or two into that schedule as well. We also do soccer on the weekends.

For the most part, at least one parent is with the kids after 2:30PM, and both of us are home by 4:30. So our kids are out of the home 6 hours a day for school only. Ever since having kids i have not worked past 40-42 hours a week, and i probably do 10-14 of those at home. Current job allows plenty of flexibility of schedule, and ease of WFH which makes it perfect. We both have dinner with our kids and we both put them to bed.

Weekends are a lot more free. Usually it's a mic of kid activities, personal projects and activities, socializing with friends/neighbors and housecare. I'm very DIY so i take care of my own lawn, vehicles and do my own home improvement projects. I also find time to golf and enjoy my many hobbies. WIfe has her hobbies as well. We trade off so one of takes the kids and the other can do their own thing.


Is it easy? No. It's certainly a busy life, but I enjoy it. It gets easier as the kids get older. I didn't get married and have kids until my early 30's, so i certainly had a LOT of free time in my 20's yet it seems I accomplish more now. I'm 42 now and in better physical shape than i was in my late 20's early 30's.

Most importantly, i still sleep in til 7:30AM

[G-fused]

Lol.

I have no idea how I did it...it's all a blur!

You make it work, you change your entire life around. Everything you listed from the time you wake up and the time you go to sleep will all be irrelevent. You build your new life around the kid, and there is not concrete schedule, it's all over the place and topsy turvey.

I might have very well been a billionaire if not for kids. Or I might have very well been a drug addict and in prison if not for kids. Get it?

No offense but the first thing I thought when looking over your post is that, man...that sounds horribly boring. Life is messy, soak it up!

Best of luck.

[floridarebel]

That’s why it’s ideal to have the mom stay at home.

[MKTwet]

Originally Posted by 2mares

I would beg to differ (bolded). But agree with the second part.

Either you're the manager of your children or your children is managing you, sadly. I see it all the time parents being the servant of their children. My wife was a daycare worker and she had to quit years ago because kids are becoming more and more entitled and bossy. I feel sorry for so many daycare workers that have to put up with entitled children.

[Remington Steel]

Originally Posted by MKTwet

Either you're the manager of your children or your children is managing you, sadly. I see it all the time parents being the servant of their children. My wife was a daycare worker and she had to quit years ago because kids are becoming more and more entitled and bossy. I feel sorry for so many daycare workers that have to put up with entitled children.

I see that a lot too. Case of parents wanting to be their child’s “friend” and not parent. I loved my parents to death growing up, but I knew they were my parents and respected their authority over me. My dad always said to me he was hard on us because he didn’t want us to make the same mistakes he made growing up. He soften up a quite bit the older we kids got cause he knew “his job was done”.