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Old 06-04-2008, 09:21 AM
 
3,086 posts, read 7,599,995 times
Reputation: 4469

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As a mom of 4, two much older and two younger, and as a child care provider for close to 20 years, I've lots of experience in everything discussed here and I've been through all the different changes in practices.

So, here's my 2 cents worth:

On sleeping-every child is indeed different, however all babies need to be soothed to sleep in some manner, starting with what they have internalized and using external things to help them seooth themselves.

So, you have to determine what that particular child needs.
*They might have a need to suck, therefore you nurse, bottle feed or use a pacifier. Frequency will depend on their self induced eating schedule, growth spurts and outside factors that wake them.(making it totally quiet will wake many babies that have been asleep)
*They might have a need to feel safe and secure, therefore you swaddle them or cuddle with them. Multiples seem to need this more than singles, therefore they do better sharing a bed for months.
*They might have a need for outside stimulus, therefore you keep on a night light, music or mobiles. Or the opposite...keep it dark and quiet.

Best bet is to simply adjust your expectations of how much sleep you are going to get and it will give you far less stress.

On Potty Training. Practices have changed each generation yet you have to realize why they've changed.
While many grandparents today will tell you that your very young baby should be potty training, they are correct for their generation. Remember that they used cloth diapers with no outer coverings, the moms didn't generally work outside the home and the family's generally had little outside activities to which they'd devote their time. Plus it was somewhat accepable to stop and go on the side of the road. So, these moms were far more in tune with their children's potty needs and able to devote the time to work closely with them in order to prevent the messes cloth diapers allowed.
With the advent of disposable diapers, moms working outside the home and lots of extra curricular activities, moms simply don't have the time nor need to potty train the kids as early as the generations before disposables.

On parenting practices.
I've seen all the sleeping on the stomach, side and back issues since with each of my children it's been different practices being suggested. Choking used to be a problem with young babies because the practice was to start feeding them solid foods at one month of age. So, you put them to sleep on their tummies to prevent them from choking.
When eating solid foods changed to older ages, choking became less an issue but SIDS became more a concern. Studies on SIDS suggested that some babies don't have strong enough necks to turn their heads and that put them at risk for suffocation. So, suggestion then became to put them on their backs to prevent them from accidental suffocation. Alas, that caused flat heads (as one poster mentioned) so then the practice was to make sure you turned their heads for them until they are able to do so on their own. Bottom line learned over the years was to put the babies in a place that has a firm mattress with nothing else there...no stuffed animals, no bumper pads, no covers, no pilows, no gaps and so on, until they are able to roll over completely on their own and freely move their heads as needed. If all that's done, then it doesn't really matter whether or not they are put down on their backs, sides or tummy, they will find the most comfortable sleeping position at that time.

On eating. That's gone from one end of the spectrum to the other end and will be changing again. It's gone from nursing, to feeding watered down substitutes, to formula and coming back around to nursing again. It's gone from transitioning to feeding altered adult foods, to feeding baby foods, to home made baby foods, back to altered adult foods(though different than what was given ages ago). It's gone from feeding solids as early as a month old, to feeding solids at 4 months, then 6 months, now it's between 9-12 months.
Changes have come about for all sorts of reasons. For example, some things changed because of ease of use, availability, time savers or trends. Other things have changed because of different levels of research and results.
The only thing you can be sure of is that it will change again before your own kids have kids and you'll find yourself giving outdated advice to them as well, that was just fine in your own parenting time.
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Old 06-04-2008, 09:44 AM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,164 posts, read 27,164,745 times
Reputation: 10428
Quote:
Originally Posted by hypocore View Post
As a mom of 4, two much older and two younger, and as a child care provider for close to 20 years, I've lots of experience in everything discussed here and I've been through all the different changes in practices.

So, here's my 2 cents worth:

On sleeping-every child is indeed different, however all babies need to be soothed to sleep in some manner, starting with what they have internalized and using external things to help them seooth themselves.

So, you have to determine what that particular child needs.
*They might have a need to suck, therefore you nurse, bottle feed or use a pacifier. Frequency will depend on their self induced eating schedule, growth spurts and outside factors that wake them.(making it totally quiet will wake many babies that have been asleep)
*They might have a need to feel safe and secure, therefore you swaddle them or cuddle with them. Multiples seem to need this more than singles, therefore they do better sharing a bed for months.
*They might have a need for outside stimulus, therefore you keep on a night light, music or mobiles. Or the opposite...keep it dark and quiet.

Best bet is to simply adjust your expectations of how much sleep you are going to get and it will give you far less stress.

On Potty Training. Practices have changed each generation yet you have to realize why they've changed.
While many grandparents today will tell you that your very young baby should be potty training, they are correct for their generation. Remember that they used cloth diapers with no outer coverings, the moms didn't generally work outside the home and the family's generally had little outside activities to which they'd devote their time. Plus it was somewhat accepable to stop and go on the side of the road. So, these moms were far more in tune with their children's potty needs and able to devote the time to work closely with them in order to prevent the messes cloth diapers allowed.
With the advent of disposable diapers, moms working outside the home and lots of extra curricular activities, moms simply don't have the time nor need to potty train the kids as early as the generations before disposables.

On parenting practices.
I've seen all the sleeping on the stomach, side and back issues since with each of my children it's been different practices being suggested. Choking used to be a problem with young babies because the practice was to start feeding them solid foods at one month of age. So, you put them to sleep on their tummies to prevent them from choking.
When eating solid foods changed to older ages, choking became less an issue but SIDS became more a concern. Studies on SIDS suggested that some babies don't have strong enough necks to turn their heads and that put them at risk for suffocation. So, suggestion then became to put them on their backs to prevent them from accidental suffocation. Alas, that caused flat heads (as one poster mentioned) so then the practice was to make sure you turned their heads for them until they are able to do so on their own. Bottom line learned over the years was to put the babies in a place that has a firm mattress with nothing else there...no stuffed animals, no bumper pads, no covers, no pilows, no gaps and so on, until they are able to roll over completely on their own and freely move their heads as needed. If all that's done, then it doesn't really matter whether or not they are put down on their backs, sides or tummy, they will find the most comfortable sleeping position at that time.

On eating. That's gone from one end of the spectrum to the other end and will be changing again. It's gone from nursing, to feeding watered down substitutes, to formula and coming back around to nursing again. It's gone from transitioning to feeding altered adult foods, to feeding baby foods, to home made baby foods, back to altered adult foods(though different than what was given ages ago). It's gone from feeding solids as early as a month old, to feeding solids at 4 months, then 6 months, now it's between 9-12 months.
Changes have come about for all sorts of reasons. For example, some things changed because of ease of use, availability, time savers or trends. Other things have changed because of different levels of research and results.
The only thing you can be sure of is that it will change again before your own kids have kids and you'll find yourself giving outdated advice to them as well, that was just fine in your own parenting time.
Thanks for a great post of experience?

One question - what's the point of the padded bumpers in the crib? We have them, but I'm wondering if I should remove them. Once bay had moved close to the bumper last night, but not up against it. I assume the issue is that he could suffocated if his nose and mouth ended up right against it. So why do they even make them?
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Old 06-04-2008, 09:48 AM
 
2,839 posts, read 9,969,410 times
Reputation: 2944
I think that bumpers are no longer recommended. My MIL was saying something about it to my SIL recently, something she'd read.

When my son was 3 months old, I came in one morning to find him with his head under the bumper pad! This was a baby who could not roll, but managed to scooch himself up under it. I took them off that day and did not use them again.
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Old 06-04-2008, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Chicago's burbs
1,016 posts, read 4,535,821 times
Reputation: 920
Yes, I think they recommend taking everything (including the bumper, blankets, toys, etc.) out of the crib now. It is recommended to use a swaddle blanket, sleep sac, or blanket sleeper to keep baby warm.
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Old 06-04-2008, 11:24 AM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 6,915,214 times
Reputation: 2669
The reason some people want to use bumpers is because they are afraid their little one will get his limbs caught between the slats in the crib and get injured that way. They are not recommended now because of the risk of suffocation.
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Old 06-04-2008, 12:32 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 17,358,227 times
Reputation: 8075
Quote:
As a mom of 4, two much older and two younger, and as a child care provider for close to 20 years, I've lots of experience in everything discussed here and I've been through all the different changes in practices.

So, here's my 2 cents worth:

On sleeping-every child is indeed different, however all babies need to be soothed to sleep in some manner, starting with what they have internalized and using external things to help them seooth themselves.

So, you have to determine what that particular child needs.
*They might have a need to suck, therefore you nurse, bottle feed or use a pacifier. Frequency will depend on their self induced eating schedule, growth spurts and outside factors that wake them.(making it totally quiet will wake many babies that have been asleep)
*They might have a need to feel safe and secure, therefore you swaddle them or cuddle with them. Multiples seem to need this more than singles, therefore they do better sharing a bed for months.
*They might have a need for outside stimulus, therefore you keep on a night light, music or mobiles. Or the opposite...keep it dark and quiet.

Best bet is to simply adjust your expectations of how much sleep you are going to get and it will give you far less stress.

Thank you. This is great. It pretty much reinforces my opinion that babies need some help falling asleep instead off just leaving them to cry for a prolonged period of time until they give up on their parents and fall asleep on their own.
Additionally, it's not about US after all. It's about our children. I put my child before my own need for sleep (within reasons of course).
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Old 06-05-2008, 07:01 AM
 
Location: Lexington
439 posts, read 1,230,559 times
Reputation: 206
Some things my wife and I might try as our about to be 7 month old wakes up 2-3 times a night. I think some good tip is cutting down on the naps, i think thats what our problem is.
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Old 06-05-2008, 12:49 PM
 
430 posts, read 1,356,719 times
Reputation: 171
Quote:
Originally Posted by drjones96 View Post
My daughter had severe reflux and from the time she was about 3mo we had her on a combination of cereal and formula. She did much better after that.
Same here. Ped has us on cereal in the bottle at 2 weeks. The little guy is gaining well ahead of his peers. Looking at the nutrition label the cereal is close to the formula in most respects.
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Old 06-05-2008, 07:16 PM
 
Location: NYC
16,061 posts, read 26,694,582 times
Reputation: 24848
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
The reason some people want to use bumpers is because they are afraid their little one will get his limbs caught between the slats in the crib and get injured that way. They are not recommended now because of the risk of suffocation.
My GF told me that this morning! Her son gets his leg caught every night wakes up crying. I asked if she still had the bumper on; and I was told it is no longer recommended. I was shocked! But thinking about it, I remember many times my son would schooch over to the bumper as if he were cuddling...
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Old 06-05-2008, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Sacramento
2,568 posts, read 6,740,925 times
Reputation: 1933
Yep, some babies are too active at night. We would have bought them for our son after the first couple of night he woke up but we are too cheap. I instead put my son to sleep in his playard where he already naps anyway. My son rolled from tummy to back a couple of days before he turn 3 months. And yes he slept on his tummy because he wouldn't sleep any other way.
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