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Tell him the next time that he see`s a kid walking on his grass, walk out there, get him, and walk to to your door. You want to see which kid is doing this.
If being reasonable is not productive, I would just be an a$$. I know that sounds awful, but good grief!
If they come back, say something like " My darn kids, they are into EVERYTHING! First they started global warming, then the high gas prices and now they are messing with YOUR YARD!!" and shut the door right in their face.
They are stupid people that are taunting you. Give them a dose of their own.
What about organizing a round table discussion with all of the adults? This neighbor is obviously distressed and older people don't always have the best problem solving skills. (We had an old man in our neighborhood who sat in a lawn chair on the driveway all day holding a B-B gun-you better believe he had no problems with the neighborhood kids! ) Maybe she keeps going to you because she knows you the best and you've been the most respectful. Would you consider organizing and facilitating a neighborhood meeting at this woman's house? You could invite the other kids' parents over, the old lady can state specifically what it is that the kids are doing (no pointing fingers, just make general comments about what the kids are doing to her property), and have the adults work together towards a solution. It might sound like overkill, but I would hate for your relationship to turn sour if you've known each other a long time. Also, you might start to resent the other neighbors since they're raising a bunch of hooligans. It might take a couple of meetings but I think the effort is well worth it! After the adults have come up with some rules about the neighbor lady's property, you can present the information to the kids and agree on some good consequences if the rules are broken.
I have three boys (14, 11, and 9) and we live in a cul de sac with several other families who also have boys. All told there are about 6 other boys (ages 4-10) in addition to mine. There are also two older couples who live in the back of the cul-de-sac who don't have children. My sons are older and don't play with these kids and, to tell you the truth, I discourage them from playing with these kids because I don't want my boys being blamed for something these other boys do. These other boys already use profanity are unsupervised, are basically not being parented. Now my sons sure aren't perfect, but they're really turning out to be good, respectful young men. And I plan to keep it that way.
Lately, though, these couples in the back have been knocking on my door blaming my boys for stuff that's been going on in their yard. Small stuff, but still. For example, they came over one time and said my son had thrown a ball that had damaged a tree branch, implying I should replace the tree Or they claim that one of my sons has walked on the edge of their lawn.
At first, I was apologetic and blaming my boys. But then I realized my kids weren't even home when this stuff was happening. Also, they don't even go back there and could care less about these families. My boys are extremely busy with sports and friends and I've been watching them like a hawk. I have, however, seen several of the other little boys back there. SO I suspect these people might have a point. But the thing that gets me is that I see the neighbors watching these other kids from their windows and they don't do anything about it. They don't tell these kids to go, don't go to their parents (I know b/c I asked the other parents). It's like they feel compelled to come to me and I have no idea why.
Typically, the conversation goes something like this:
Neighbor: the boys have been on my grass
Me: No they haven't
Neighbor: actually, I saw your son on the edge of the grass this morning
Me: You're mistaken, He wasn't even home this morning (he'd been at a sleep over)
Neighbor: still, keep your kids off my grass
How do you deal with people like this? She is constantly at my door complaining about things that my kids didn't do. And she never goes to any of the other parents' doors. All of this started rather quickly when more kids moved in.
Also, these neighbors are getting worse as time goes by so I need to nip this in the bud, but I have no idea how to stop this. Any suggestions? I also can't figure out why they're targeting my kids. We've lived her for years and never had problems with them. Not close to them or anything, but never any animosity. We've never thought about these people one way or another.
I'd tell your neighbor to shove it. I'll never understand why some people are just nasty like that. Why would they care if they were on their grass? Even going as far to notice that your kids were on the "edge of their grass." Wow...they need something constructive to do with their time. We're lucky, our next door neighbors are great, they let my son play in their yards.....when we play wiffle ball, the ball pretty much always goes into their yard...
If being reasonable is not productive, I would just be an a$$. I know that sounds awful, but good grief!
If they come back, say something like " My darn kids, they are into EVERYTHING! First they started global warming, then the high gas prices and now they are messing with YOUR YARD!!" and shut the door right in their face.
They are stupid people that are taunting you. Give them a dose of their own.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
4,640 posts, read 11,938,904 times
Reputation: 9885
Ha, ha, ha, ha! Loved the responses!
As for why the neighbors are telling me--I think its b/c I'm the only one available. I'm always outside doing something and I've lived here over 10 years so I know most of the people in the neighborhood. I think they hoped I would talk to the other parents on their behalf. Which I kinda did. But mainly to let give the other parents a heads up that I know who's doing what and I'm not letting my kids take the fall for theirs. The thing that I'm most concerned with is that I don't want my kids getting a reputation for being troublemakers. Which is why I'm taking all of this rather seriously.
To the OP who had kids in her yard: good for you!
To the OP with tattletale in the neighborhood: Good for you, I've had that problem before and it is such a drag.
I'm thinking I'd come up with some really smarty pants replies.....like if they complained about them wlking on the edge of the yard I'd say.....Woohoo! I bet them them couldn't walk on your yard without getting caught! I win the bet!
Tell him the next time that he see`s a kid walking on his grass, walk out there, get him, and walk to to your door. You want to see which kid is doing this.
You could even offer to split the cost of a video surveillance system for a month...of course, they will not take you up on the offer. Maybe offer an armed security guard as well.
It sounds like they need to choose their battles more wisely. There are bigger things in this world to worry about besides a child in their yard!
What about organizing a round table discussion with all of the adults? This neighbor is obviously distressed and older people don't always have the best problem solving skills. (We had an old man in our neighborhood who sat in a lawn chair on the driveway all day holding a B-B gun-you better believe he had no problems with the neighborhood kids! ) Maybe she keeps going to you because she knows you the best and you've been the most respectful. Would you consider organizing and facilitating a neighborhood meeting at this woman's house? You could invite the other kids' parents over, the old lady can state specifically what it is that the kids are doing (no pointing fingers, just make general comments about what the kids are doing to her property), and have the adults work together towards a solution. It might sound like overkill, but I would hate for your relationship to turn sour if you've known each other a long time. Also, you might start to resent the other neighbors since they're raising a bunch of hooligans. It might take a couple of meetings but I think the effort is well worth it! After the adults have come up with some rules about the neighbor lady's property, you can present the information to the kids and agree on some good consequences if the rules are broken.
I like this idea best. Let it be a chance for your kids to understand
elderly may be confused sometimes and frustrated . I would have the kids
take them some cookies and make it a family challenge to win them over.
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) Maybe she keeps going to you because she knows you the best and you've been the most respectful. Would you consider organizing and facilitating a neighborhood meeting at this woman's house? You could invite the other kids' parents over, the old lady can state specifically what it is that the kids are doing (no pointing fingers, just make general comments about what the kids are doing to her property), and have the adults work together towards a solution. It might sound like overkill, but I would hate for your relationship to turn sour if you've known each other a long time. Also, you might start to resent the other neighbors since they're raising a bunch of hooligans. It might take a couple of meetings but I think the effort is well worth it! After the adults have come up with some rules about the neighbor lady's property, you can present the information to the kids and agree on some good consequences if the rules are broken.
Or they claim that one of my sons has walked on the edge of their lawn.
