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Old 04-05-2024, 07:59 AM
 
36,722 posts, read 31,008,318 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hearthcrafter View Post
Meh, part of me doesn't blame them. Moms really don't get cut much slack: if she withhold sweets because of how it effects her child (whether it's perception or reality) then she's the controlling fun police. But the kid is bouncing off the walls then she will be criticized for not controlling her child. My policy is that it costs me nothing to respect other people's boundaries, even if I think it's a bit much.
Exactly. And somehow it is mom who gets this judgment, rarely dad.

IDK how many posters here have dealt with a child who is affected by sugar like this but it is not a pleasant experience. You are frustrated and frazzled trying to get them to calm down and end up yelling and/or punishing them due to their behavior. It is a lose/lose situation.
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Old 04-05-2024, 09:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyandPearl View Post
This modern breed of mother ...

Thanks for the chuckle! I'm glad it's not just me.
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Old 04-05-2024, 10:47 AM
 
36,722 posts, read 31,008,318 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyandPearl View Post
This modern breed of mother annoys the heck out of me, they see their motherhood as a power trip along with demanding they never be crossed, corrected or inconvenienced. The elevated sense of self-worth is cringe. They also seem to think they own their children.
Good luck in 18 years, Mom.

Imagine the delusion of thinking it's appropriate to send your child to a birthday party with his own portion of low sugar... something.
How weird of her.

Not to mention putting her son in the position of having the other kids thinking he's weird.

Not to mention ruining the birthday party for him.

And then she takes it to the level of going on the radio to defend her absurd position.

Thank goodness the kid has Buz.
I wonder if Buz is the one who has to deal with a hyped-up out-of-control kid that cant be still, cant stop talking, won't listen, cant go to sleep, then becomes cranky when the sugar wears off. I'd bet not. I dont know to what degree Amy is controlling. That info would go a long way in forming an opinion. With all the food allergies, and special diets these days it is not uncommon for kids or adults to bring their own food to gatherings.
When my grand was in school and there was a pizza party, one kid could not eat sauce so he got his own pizza. No one thought much about it. I also remember at a football playoffs two brothers with their grand and she would not let them have any of the concession food, soda, etc. but brought them healthy food in little baggies. They wanted some popcorn, nachos, and soda so bad I felt sorry for them and her, actually. All of them were unhappy. I understand not wanting kids to eat that stuff but it is hard when all the other kids are.

I doubt him eating a low sugar cake from home is going to ruin the party for him. Kids are generally interested in more than the sweets at a BD party.
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Old 04-09-2024, 10:41 AM
 
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Guess some posters don't remember or know what it was like being a kid with a weird mom.

And how kind and tolerant other kids are at that age.
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Old 04-11-2024, 12:42 PM
 
3,166 posts, read 2,721,256 times
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The parent who parents gets to parent.

If Buzz is going to take care of the kid after the party, he gets to decide.
If Amy is going to take care of the kid after the party, she gets to decide.

Problem solved.



I've been to 7,231 birthday parties. Nobody bats an eye at the kid who doesn't eat pizza or brings their own cake. Sometimes the parents present compliment them on how well-behaved they are, but even that is vanishingly rare.

The kids are too busy joyfully destroying whatever venue is holding the party to give a **** about what anybody eats.
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Old 04-12-2024, 08:02 AM
 
1,400 posts, read 775,049 times
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It doesn't sound like a cake problem, it's a control problem, and his wife wants ALL of it. Watch out who you marry!
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Old 05-09-2024, 04:10 PM
 
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Buzz takes the kid to the birthday party. Amy goes away for a girls' spa day or weekend with friends so Buzz can then deal with the kid's sugar-amped behavior all by himself instead of expecting Amy to deal with the repercussions of his poor parenting.

Entirely too many fathers behave like Buzz. They try to play good cop and then when the kid acts up, suddenly the mother has to come in and be bad cop. Nope. If you give your kid sugar when you know it makes your kid hyper, YOU deal with your kid afterward.
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Old 05-13-2024, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Ruston, Louisiana
2,163 posts, read 1,081,598 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyandPearl View Post
This modern breed of mother annoys the heck out of me, they see their motherhood as a power trip along with demanding they never be crossed, corrected or inconvenienced. The elevated sense of self-worth is cringe. They also seem to think they own their children.
Good luck in 18 years, Mom.

Imagine the delusion of thinking it's appropriate to send your child to a birthday party with his own portion of low sugar... something.
How weird of her.

Not to mention putting her son in the position of having the other kids thinking he's weird.

Not to mention ruining the birthday party for him.

And then she takes it to the level of going on the radio to defend her absurd position.

Thank goodness the kid has Buz.
LOL. Well said!
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Old Yesterday, 07:55 PM
 
6,917 posts, read 4,931,984 times
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If I were Buzz I would take the treat his wife made, then when we got to the party I would put it in the trash and let the child have a piece of cake. I'd tell the boy that he can't tell his Mother or we wouldn't be able to have cake again. Off topic, but the child is getting to the age where his friends will be sneaking him some of their treats.

Is this good for the marriage - probably mot if the wife finds out.

Let the child have an occasional treat with his friends instead of being the odd kid on the outside looking in.
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Old Today, 08:14 AM
 
15,830 posts, read 20,615,948 times
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Not exactly an Apples to Apples comparison here...

My son has a peanut allergy. Due to cross-contamination risks, we bring our own treats to birthday parties and such. It has never been a big deal and usually minimal or no explanation to the hosting parents. Likewise, we've had birthday parties that we've hosted where parents brought their own treat for similar reasons. No explanation necessary, completely understandable. For Buzz to say this is "radical and insane" is head-scratching to me. (I think one poster here commented it was dillusional). Nobody cares that much. I've seen it happen with younger kids and older kids. The kids don't even make a big deal about it.

The treat we give my child is quite good. I usually eat one myself. So he's never felt bad getting that instead of cake. It's just made to ensure no allergen contamination.

Again, not a similar comparison, but with that regard I don't agree with Buzz in with the mindset of not wanting to ask if their child can have his own treat out of fear of insulting the hosts. Like i said, in all the parties we've been to (and it's been many) it's never been a big deal and it's usually 1 or 2 kids per party.



Now in terms of how the child behaves after sugar? No idea. Not there, can't experience it. Can't judge on how hyperactive he actually gets (or not). Let's assume for a moment that he does bounce off the walls. After this party, does Buzz come home and kick off his shoes and start watching Basketball, while Amy does the parenting? Without knowing this relationship dynamic, and how hyperactive the child gets, it's tough to pick a side here. With this causing strain on the relationship, i think there are more issues at play here than birthday cake. For Amy to make such a request and then get angry about it leads me to think that she deals with the brunt of his hyperactivity while Buzz goes off to do other things.

I think I'm siding with Amy here because based on her "My son is hyper active and I can't control him when he has sugar." comment, I feel she's left to deal with the aftermath. If it was a team effort then she would have said "WE".


I think there's more deeper parenting issues here that needs to be address more than just cake. The cake isn't the problem. They don't seem to be on the same page based on the limited info given (and filling in the blanks)
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