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Did you know that teachers/administrators in Louisiana are allowed by law to "paddle kids" in school?
It would be ashame if someone decided to do that to my child. The law might say thats OK but I do not. I will cut loose on someone in a way they won't soon forget.
I think kids are out of control because they're not disciplined. Not necessarily spanking, per se, but discipline. I hear this at the park all the time: "Bobby, if you don't (fill in the blank), we're going to leave! Bobby! Did you hear me? I said we're going to leave! That's it! We're leaving! Well then behave yourself. Bobby! Did you hear me tell you before that we're leaving if you do that again? Stop it! That's it, sit on that bench until you can behave!" And on and on it goes, and the parent never simply leaves. Un-discipline at its finest.
Whether the child leaves the park/grocery store/etc, or whether they're taken to the car for a couple of swats on the butt really makes no difference... some kids will act up because they don't want to be there, and in that case, a "timeout" in the car is not going to help. You can talk your head off to your three year old about how to behave in the grocery store, but in my experience, this does not solve much.
Better to nip incorrect behavior in the bud. I know that many parents want to be their kids best friends and show them unlimited respect, etc, but they need to buck up and PARENT their children. Yes, I was spanked, and I figured out how to behave in order not to get spanked. I'm talking about little children, under the age of 7 or so. After that, hopefully the child has the capabilities to understand logical/natural consequences and spanking should be unnecessary.
When I talk to spankers, one thing they seem to agree on is "One of the things wrong with kids today (tm) is they don't respect their parents or authority". Many seem to equate "respect" with "fear". They want their children to fear them.
In my opinion, that's total bunk.
My son, who has never been spanked, smacked, hit, slapped, whatever, is quite respectful. He is not now, nor has he ever been a discipline problem. He has respect for others because he has always been treated with respect. He has learned that everyone deserves respect by virtue of breathing... until they do something that makes you lose respect for them.
Over the years, he has learned a variety of ways to deal with disagreeable people, even with those who lean toward violence (hitting).
In our family, we do not want anyone to fear us, especially family members. How can you love someone you fear? How can I expect someone to love me if they are afraid of me? The whole concept boggles my mind.
Here's a question for you spankers: if an adult did something with which you disagreed, would you hit them? You know, not enough to leave marks, but you know, just to *cough* get their attention . If not, why not?
You all know that there is a difference between spanking and beating.
That one is a tired argument too. If I disagree with something another adult does, can I give them a slap? As long as its not a "beating," its OK, right?
In the seventies, my siblings and I were taught lessons with wire coat hangars, metal spoons, fists, belts, tree branches, whatever was handy. Our hair was pulled, we were knocked to the floor, and called degrading names. To this day, not a one of us speak to her. Looking back, I remember her fighting with everyone: neighbors, her parents, her sister, you name it. Now I realize that she was just a miserable person.
In the seventies, my siblings and I were taught lessons with wire coat hangars, metal spoons, fists, belts, tree branches, whatever was handy. Our hair was pulled, we were knocked to the floor, and called degrading names. To this day, not a one of us speak to her. Looking back, I remember her fighting with everyone: neighbors, her parents, her sister, you name it. Now I realize that she was just a miserable person.
Sounds like my "mother." A very miserable person, she can't get out one sentence without complaining about something or degrading someone. I don't speak to her at all anymore....my kids don't even know she exists.
NO....my opinion of why there are a lot of angry troubled kids is the breakdown of the family:
Completely agree.
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Originally Posted by MrKrabs
there are more broken homes than ever before,
With divorce becoming more common (and easier to do than before) there are absolutely more broken homes and kids who only have one part time parent....if that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrKrabs
also, more and more kids are left alone while both parents work,
I know of a few kids in my neighborhood (5-10 yrs old) who walk home from school and wait for mom or dad to come home from work. I feel bad for kids that little who come home to an empty house every day and have to wait 3 hours for Mom or Dad to come home....and what do they do during summer time?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrKrabs
or are raised by daycare
This I have a problem with. There are things that kids cannot learn only being at home with mom. My wife and I are not educators....we do what we can but we just have a hard time with teaching our kids some things effectively. The daycare provider we used to use was wonderful at helping our kids learn and act appropriatly in a social setting with other kids their age.
Currently the situation is that my wife stays home with my youngest kids. It's a question of economics since her line of work wouldn't pay her well enough to justify having 3 kids in daycare. Plus we realize how important it is for her to be at home with our youngest child. What we've noticed about our son - who has never been in a daycare - is that he has a hard time socializing with other kids. He'll turn 2 in a couple of months. When our daughter heads off to Kindergarden year after next we'll be enrolling our son in daycare when he's 3 (a good one that offers a good pre-school ciriculum). My daughter will head to an after-school program there. And my wife will return to work at that time. We feel this will be best for his development. You may disagree and feel that the daycare is "raising" my kids. I disagree...I believe they are helping to educate my kids...and they'd better be for what we have to pay them these days (there are low-cost options but you get what you pay for).
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrKrabs
But there were troubled kids in past generations, it just wasn't publicized like it is today....
So basically what you're saying is that there has been no real change in kid's behavior regardless of how kids have been treated with respect to discipline. OK.
Currently the situation is that my wife stays home with my youngest kids. It's a question of economics since her line of work wouldn't pay her well enough to justify having 3 kids in daycare. Plus we realize how important it is for her to be at home with our youngest child. What we've noticed about our son - who has never been in a daycare - is that he has a hard time socializing with other kids. He'll turn 2 in a couple of months. When our daughter heads off to Kindergarden year after next we'll be enrolling our son in daycare when he's 3 (a good one that offers a good pre-school ciriculum). My daughter will head to an after-school program there. And my wife will return to work at that time. We feel this will be best for his development. You may disagree and feel that the daycare is "raising" my kids. I disagree...I believe they are helping to educate my kids...and they'd better be for what we have to pay them these days (there are low-cost options but you get what you pay for).
Well, where we lucked out was that our public schools have a 3 and 4 year old preschool program....with actual teachers, not low-wage babysitters that you find in a lot of daycare centers. For 3 year olds, they go 3 days a week half-day (8:20-11:00am), 4 year olds go 5 days a week for the same hours, kindergarten is then full-day. Its a great program that does let them socialize and learn and prepare for kindergarten, without having them be at some daycare center for 9 hours a day as the families where both parents work full-time do. I think preschool is great for kids....daycare is horrible.
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. If not, why not?
