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My son pushes me to my limits to where all i can do is put him in his room until i can calm down. I tried time outs the corner gettin on his level no matter what he does he still screams yells hits bites slams his head into every part of my body. I cant even use the bathroom without him there otherwise he will scream and cry and punch the door. He use to be loving caring all hugs and kisses. No matter how many times i tell him NO to something he jsut doesnt listen. LIke i have to kittens and he is very rough with them so i tell him he cant pick them up without me around and he will and its like an evil spirt as just come in and taken over my child. please any advice!
welcome to the two's....although my son started the terrible two's at a year and a half
the only advice i can give you is, they are too young for time out. my son wont sit still for it and if i take things away for bad behavior, he just screams and cries which is worse.
if he does something wrong i try to calm him down and talk to him. if he has a tantrum, i walk away, let him cry, scream, throw himself on the floor--whatever....i just leave him where he lies and walk away. i basically ignore him. i dont say anything to him. after a couple of minutes he realizes he is getting no reaction and stops.
sometimes i just guve a yell to "startle" him and he stops that way too....
welcome to the two's....although my son started the terrible two's at a year and a half
Same here. Seems like my son has been in the terrible twos since he was about 14mo. He's 22mo now. Last night I was talking to my wife on the cell phone. He apparently didn't approve. He grabbed the phone away from her and threw it on the LR floor. She picked it up, called me back, same thing again. Also if he doesn't want you to put something somewhere he will grab it and throw it in the floor. This past weekend I was putting throw pillows back on the couch. He got upset about it and grabbed them and threw them back in the floor.
I really don't know what to do with him sometimes. He can be very loving and cuddlely but then he can just go completely nuts!
Yep, same here too. My son just turned 2 last month. Same thing, he will be very loving and cuddly, and sometimes he is totally crazy. He has this bad habit of whenever I scold him or tell him no he will pick up the nearest toy and whip it as hard as he can. I don't know what to do with him sometimes! But hey, at least we know our kid's behavior is normal for this age!
I'm sorry to tell you that our terrible two's last from 18 mos. til about 4. Ignoring the tantrums can be effective. Something else that sounds corny but that really worked was verbalizing what was going on with her, as in "you're really angry aren't you that I won't let you go outside right now?" It seemed to calm her down, as if her anger stemmed in part from not being able to express what she was feeling. But there were plenty of days I took her to her room, plopped her on the bed, shut the door and left. Try as hard as you can not to be sucked into the tantrum because that just makes it worse for everyone.
Yeah, two's are a wild time. My son is 2.5, and he can be great and he can be very difficult.
It started around 18 months. He gets time outs in his room with the door closed. I was told one minute for every year he is. There is no way he would sit in a chair at this point for a t.o.
But before I give the time out I want him to know he has choices. So I say, stop whatever it is or I am going to count to three and if you don't stop I am giving you a time out. And I always, always, deliver on my promises. This way he knows he has some control over his life, and sometimes he stops and sometimes he gets the time out.
I'm sorry to tell you that our terrible two's last from 18 mos. til about 4. Ignoring the tantrums can be effective. Something else that sounds corny but that really worked was verbalizing what was going on with her, as in "you're really angry aren't you that I won't let you go outside right now?" It seemed to calm her down, as if her anger stemmed in part from not being able to express what she was feeling. But there were plenty of days I took her to her room, plopped her on the bed, shut the door and left. Try as hard as you can not to be sucked into the tantrum because that just makes it worse for everyone.
Hang in there, it does get better.
this makes a LOT of sense. i know my little one usually gets upset and starts running back and forth crying and i have no idea why?? but as soon as i figure out what he is trying to say, then he laughs and calms down. 90% of the tantrums are because he is not able to tell me what he wants.
this makes a LOT of sense. i know my little one usually gets upset and starts running back and forth crying and i have no idea why?? but as soon as i figure out what he is trying to say, then he laughs and calms down. 90% of the tantrums are because he is not able to tell me what he wants.
Later will come the "I want to get my way tantrums". Those you got to deal with or they can go on for years.
Toddlers are such emotional people. It's truly rough to be 2. At 3, my daughter is starting to calm down, but we still have some whoppers. Now the 1-year-old seems to ramping up. Anyway, regarding the bathroom, just let him in. You do have to pick and choose your battles and the bathroom probably shouldn't be one. I know, it was just an example. Also, do you have a schedule? Toddlers really, really crave schedules. It has helped us so much. If they know what to expect, then transitions aren't as difficult. Break it out - here is the first half of our day:
7am - get up
7:30 - eat breakfast
8:00 - 1/2 hour of TV
9:00 - go to the playground
12:00 - lunch
12:30 - nap
Like the others said, it's very important to follow through on any warnings you give. If you don't, then they learn not to take you seriously. Finally, find ways to be positive. If you see him being gentle with the kittens, praise him to the stars. Find what he cares about and use that as leverage. Yes, bribe. Let him earn stickers or rocks or a bit of TV or staying up an extra 15 minutes - whatever will motivate him.
My son pushes me to my limits to where all i can do is put him in his room until i can calm down. I tried time outs the corner gettin on his level no matter what he does he still screams yells hits bites slams his head into every part of my body. I cant even use the bathroom without him there otherwise he will scream and cry and punch the door. He use to be loving caring all hugs and kisses. No matter how many times i tell him NO to something he jsut doesnt listen. LIke i have to kittens and he is very rough with them so i tell him he cant pick them up without me around and he will and its like an evil spirt as just come in and taken over my child. please any advice!
Big hugs to you. I know how difficult it can be to have a screaming toddler who just won't calm down.
On the better note, I want to tell you that it does get easier. Although 3's is still a tantrum age, it mellows down a lot. I can see a really big difference between 2 1/2 and 3 with my son.
One of the reasons the tantrums happen is because a toddler has such a difficult time communicating his needs. Sometimes he won't know what bothers him. Sometimes the emotions are so strong and he just doesn't know how to deal with them, work thru them. That's why you are so terribly needed to work WITH HIM during this difficult time. Keeping him safe, staying close but still giving him the space to rave, staying calm, reassuring him that you are here for him...
Trying to figure out the trigger is also your job: is he overtired? hungry? teething? What can be bothering him?
Sometimes, a stable and predictable routine with an adequate amount of sleep can do miracles.
Additionally - did you check with allergist? Allergies in children can turn into monsters!!! I'm serious. Try to avoid artificial dyes and sugar as well.
Most importantly, please don't take it personally. He is not out to get you, he is not purposefully pushing your buttons, he loves you and he needs your love.
Time outs at 2??? How can they possibly work? You are just creating isolation during the time he needs you the most. I much prefer time-ins, "peace/comfort" corners. A place where he can calm down and recharge.
Sometimes giving "no-reaction" does help.
Consistency does help. Children look for boundaries. I believe in this 100%. Sometimes, we confuse them: one day we allow them to do something and another day we won't allow the same thing. These type of mixed messages can trigger a very angry reaction from a child. Setting limits is so important.
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My son pushes me to my limits to where all i can do is put him in his room until i can calm down. I tried time outs the corner gettin on his level no matter what he does he still screams yells hits bites slams his head into every part of my body. I cant even use the bathroom without him there otherwise he will scream and cry and punch the door. He use to be loving caring all hugs and kisses. No matter how many times i tell him NO to something he jsut doesnt listen. LIke i have to kittens and he is very rough with them so i tell him he cant pick them up without me around and he will and its like an evil spirt as just come in and taken over my child. please any advice!
