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Old 07-02-2008, 05:18 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,224 posts, read 25,664,027 times
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Thats funny....
Yeah, it seems that you go from putting all of your energy into your marriage/relationship, to putting it all into the child.
It can be a difficult situation if your not careful. Sometimes, the parents forget to concentrate on each other...maybe put their relationship on the back burner, in order to satisfy the child all the time.
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Old 07-02-2008, 05:27 PM
 
Location: (WNY)
5,384 posts, read 10,868,442 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Thats funny....
Yeah, it seems that you go from putting all of your energy into your marriage/relationship, to putting it all into the child.
It can be a difficult situation if your not careful. Sometimes, the parents forget to concentrate on each other...maybe put their relationship on the back burner, in order to satisfy the child all the time.
I put all of the eggs into one basket! I got married and a month later I was pregnant... all at 24! My hubby and I didn't live together prior to the wedding either- THEN we decided to build a house- had to move in with my folks since the people who baught our house wanted it ASAP...THEN then baby came... HAPPY HONEYMOON! Life changed so fast we didn't even know what it was like to be married and just the TWO of us before we were back living with the 'rents and Parents ourselves!!!! But I wouldn't change a thing
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Old 07-02-2008, 06:47 PM
 
Location: S. Florida
1,100 posts, read 3,011,955 times
Reputation: 1443
Since having kids, our lives have changed in ways we couldn't have possibly imagined (for the better I might add!) It's hard to explain to people who don't yet have kids. But up until that point, your life revolved around YOU (and as a couple.) Should I buy a new handbag, pants, jewelry, etc, etc. Where should you go for your next vacation? What do you want to do this weekend? Hey, let's catch the 10pm movies and go for drinks afterwards. Where do you want to go to dinner? I know this little romantic getaway. Let's just hop in our car and go exploring..ETC..

But then you have kids, and ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING that revolved around YOU and YOUR needs automatically turn into what's best for your CHILDREN. Money becomes tighter (in most cases), time is shorter, LIFE is way more busy and hectic. BUT, the amount of love that we feel for our kids in our heart and soul beats out anything that we have ever thought we ever wanted. For us, having kids has enhanced our lives. I now know how much love my mother felt for her kids. I feel the same way for mine.
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Old 07-02-2008, 09:16 PM
 
Location: Catonsville, MD
2,358 posts, read 5,982,335 times
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Becoming a first-time parent at the age of 45 was a HUGEHUGEHUGE shock to me (most of it good stuff.) But boy, those many years of doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted sure changed quickly. In those first weeks after bringing home our first child, I remember feeling almost panicked that I was no longer able to just get in the car and do anything. EVERYTHING took more planning and getting ready and taking time to make sure she was ok. I think the fact that my daughter was adopted at 8 months made it a little easier, but still, I went from working woman to stay at home mom in the course of a week. I'm so happy we did it (as well as bringing home a second daughter when I was 47,) but those first weeks with both girls were a little shocking.
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Old 07-03-2008, 06:18 AM
 
Location: S. Florida
1,100 posts, read 3,011,955 times
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LOL!! Both my kids (9.5 & 3.5 yrs old) STILL do that to me!! It doesn't matter if daddy is right there. If mommy gets up, her ducklings will follow..

Quote:
Originally Posted by fjtee View Post
I haven't done that in 3 years, it seems. Maybe in another 3 I'll get to shut the door without BANG BANG BANG, "Mommy, what are you doing?"
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Old 07-03-2008, 06:33 AM
 
Location: NJ
76 posts, read 363,995 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fjtee View Post
I haven't done that in 3 years, it seems. Maybe in another 3 I'll get to shut the door without BANG BANG BANG, "Mommy, what are you doing?"
Ditto that! 5 years for me with 2 daughters. My husband is lucky because they never dare to walk in on him....but then again, he locks the door. I think I need to start doing that!! Oh and speaking of going to the bathroom, since I have 2 girls....I NEVER get to go to a public restroom anymore alone..........UGH! We are always looking for the GIANT STALL!
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Old 07-03-2008, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,164 posts, read 27,225,839 times
Reputation: 10428
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2justynsarah View Post
Since having kids, our lives have changed in ways we couldn't have possibly imagined (for the better I might add!) It's hard to explain to people who don't yet have kids. But up until that point, your life revolved around YOU (and as a couple.) Should I buy a new handbag, pants, jewelry, etc, etc. Where should you go for your next vacation? What do you want to do this weekend? Hey, let's catch the 10pm movies and go for drinks afterwards. Where do you want to go to dinner? I know this little romantic getaway. Let's just hop in our car and go exploring..ETC..

But then you have kids, and ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING that revolved around YOU and YOUR needs automatically turn into what's best for your CHILDREN. Money becomes tighter (in most cases), time is shorter, LIFE is way more busy and hectic. BUT, the amount of love that we feel for our kids in our heart and soul beats out anything that we have ever thought we ever wanted. For us, having kids has enhanced our lives. I now know how much love my mother felt for her kids. I feel the same way for mine.

In my case, it really has made me think about things like, how my mother must have felt when my brother was born with Spina Bifida (they had no clue until he was born) or how my grandmother raised my twin aunts alone because her husband died in WWII while she was pregnant. Then I think about how my parents must have felt when I left home at age 18 when I joined the Air Force and moved to Germany for 3 years - I just wanted to leave home, but never once thought about how my parents must have felt for me to just leave for good and they didn't even see me for the first 2 years. I think how I'll feel once my kids leave home, how I'll worry about them even though they're adults, etc.

The money thing is big with twins - I figure between the nanny, diapers, and formula, they're costing over $2500 per month. Now I need to go buy more clothes because they've grown out of all the 0-3 mo. onesies (will probably look for clothes at our neighborhood garage sale coming up - something I've never done in my life!) Eating out is now a once a month ordeal at best since it involves packing up the boys and a diaper bag, etc., and once they're more active, eating out will probably stop completely. But it's still all great and an experience I never expected to have in my life.
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Old 07-03-2008, 08:37 AM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,164 posts, read 27,225,839 times
Reputation: 10428
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmacf1 View Post
Becoming a first-time parent at the age of 45 was a HUGEHUGEHUGE shock to me (most of it good stuff.) But boy, those many years of doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted sure changed quickly. In those first weeks after bringing home our first child, I remember feeling almost panicked that I was no longer able to just get in the car and do anything. EVERYTHING took more planning and getting ready and taking time to make sure she was ok. I think the fact that my daughter was adopted at 8 months made it a little easier, but still, I went from working woman to stay at home mom in the course of a week. I'm so happy we did it (as well as bringing home a second daughter when I was 47,) but those first weeks with both girls were a little shocking.
Isn't it crazy how fast things change? Our twins were born via egg donor/surrogate and the whole thing was just so surreal. We met her at the hospital, went in for the c-section, they babies came out, and the following day they were released and we immediately took them out to lunch with us and to Target! Then we had to fly back to Colorado with them the day after that.

The other day my partner had taken them both to run some errands and I was home alone, in the quiet - for about an hour, things seemed as they used to be, but not for long!

I'm 41 and my partner is 39, so I still have concerns once in a while - when the boys are my age, I'll be 82, whereas my parents are 63. We're very healthy, but I still feel like I owe it to them to keep up my 2 mile walks every day (not happening every day right now) and healthy eating so I can try and make it into my 90s for them.
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Old 07-03-2008, 09:27 AM
 
213 posts, read 672,093 times
Reputation: 177
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2justynsarah View Post
LOL!! Both my kids (9.5 & 3.5 yrs old) STILL do that to me!! It doesn't matter if daddy is right there. If mommy gets up, her ducklings will follow..
same with mine
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