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I'd just like to say that toddlers who hit don't usually hit because they have been hit at home. Almost ALL toddlers hit other kids until they are taught NOT to hit. It's natural. Maybe your kid didn't do it because that's not a part of your kid's personality. I didn't spank my son and he would slap at other kids if he was angered or hurt at another kid's actions when he was 2-3 years old.
I think that is a pretty broad statement to make based on your interaction with one child. I'm not saying you're right or wrong - but to say that almost all do something because this is what you experienced is kinda powerful. And I don't mean to make it sound like I'm picking on you - I'm not really!
I spanked all of my children and only one was a hitter - that is because he didn't have the verbal skills to express himself and he would get more frustrated. Hitting and spanking are two totally different things.......
I guess I have a sore spot with those things all lumped together. Broad, sweeping judgements are dangerous. Not all people that spank abuse their children. Some do yes. Some people who don't spank abuse their children too.
...Almost ALL toddlers hit other kids until they are taught NOT to hit. It's natural...
This line reminded me of something. Please understand I'm not asking this to be snarky; it's a point I've wondered about for quite some time.
Have there been any studies that anyone is aware of that suggest that hitting is "natural"? Have there been studies of young children who have been raised with "spanking" compared to same-aged children who haven't been "spanked"? What conclusions have been drawn from these studies? Does science suggest that hitting is a learned or innate behavior among humans?
...Hitting and spanking are two totally different things.......
I respectfully disagree with you on this point. In my opinion, spanking is merely a form of hitting. In my opinion, there is no justification for hitting a child. In my opinion.
Quote:
Originally Posted by I love the Bears
Some people who don't spank abuse their children too.
And on this one, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Sadly, abuse comes in many, many forms.
I can tell you that I put as much stock in the "studies" as I do my 17 year old's ability to decide his own curfew. You can make a valid point for anything and back it up with someone agreeing with you.
I can honestly say that the majority of young children that I have been exposed to were not hitters - so I guess I would not agree that it is natural or a human instinct.
Nelly Nomad - I will agree to disagree with you too. Opinions are like belly buttons - we all have one. I'll be honest here and say that I really don't care what anyone thinks - if you're not on my tax return you're optional. I don't mean that in a snarky way - but I think that people make their decisions - life and parenting - based too much on what others think or might say.
For what it's worth, our son is soon to be a college freshman and is one of the kindest, most compassionate people I know. He has been in exactly one fight (he was attacked and he merely defended until adults could be summoned). He was not a hitter as a toddler or child because he never learned that hitting was an appropriate way to get his point across. He is polite and respectful, has a great sense of humor, he's fun to be around and is an all-around nice guy. And that's not just Proud Mom talking -- it's the feedback I've gotten from virtually everyone he comes in contact with, adults and his peers.
I know many here on these boards are hitters and will passionately defend their "right" to hit. I often feel like the minority when this discussion occurs, because so many people do hit and feel there's nothing wrong with it. I want to represent the non-spanking side. It can be done and it can work. Our son is living proof.
Parents of several or many children may have a child they never spanked, and others they felt were crossing the line, showing disrespect. The main thing is for the parent to be in control - a whole lot easier with one child than several or many.
An only child has no one to hit, you were a SAHM so your child wasn't exposed to other kids in day care nor to siblings.
My kids were spanked and never got into fights, not even one. Spanking works best early - about 2-3 years of age, and can become less effective but the parent should know their child.
I have a question. Would it be considered child abuse to take a 5 year old child by the arms and slam them on the way enough to leave bruises or welts on the arms. just because they had soap in their eyes?
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