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I don't understand why he simply doesn't get the whole "Licensed Driver" thing. What makes him different than all the other people out there who get a permit, learn to drive while supervised, take the road test then voila! They are on their own. Why does he think he is above the law???
"This kid's dad" would have done more harm than good if he had stayed in the picture; I took sole custody of my son when he was nine years old. My ex-husband served five years in prison for molesting our daughter when she was nine years old (it took her two years to tell me, and another year for the legal process to run its course). Need I say more? However, I agree that kids need both a mother and a father. I'm only sorry I didn't pick a better man to be their dad.
Just to recap: My son did graduate from high school. His first year at community college he didn't do so well. Last fall he got a "C" average, but he decided to take a semester off and work instead. So that's what he has been doing. Now he's going back to community college in September, and he knows that if he doesn't do well this semester, he's out.
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Originally Posted by jamesandveybe
OK, where is this kid's dad? Or father figure? Why wasn't he moved out and forced to work after high school? Is he handicapped in some way or lazy?
I agree with you. He keeps saying, "But it's only to ______'s house." Okay, so it's only a few blocks away, but I don't care. I have to take a hard line with this, because if I give even an inch, then all of a sudden it's going to be, "I don't see why I can't drive to work. It's only a mile and a half." No, no, no!!!
Then of course, there's the, "How many times have YOU broken the law?" argument. We're not talking about me, and at least I'm licensed! Grrr.
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Originally Posted by LynnePatrice
I don't understand why he simply doesn't get the whole "Licensed Driver" thing. What makes him different than all the other people out there who get a permit, learn to drive while supervised, take the road test then voila! They are on their own. Why does he think he is above the law???
IMO- He doesn't HAVE to move out, just be respectful of his mother's rules, and the LAW, and apply himself more diligently to the task at hand, which sounds like getting back on the right track with college. BUT if he can't get serious and be more agreeable and respectful, then yes, let him find out the hard way, on his own.
IMO- He doesn't HAVE to move out, just be respectful of his mother's rules, and the LAW, and apply himself more diligently to the task at hand, which sounds like getting back on the right track with college. BUT if he can't get serious and be more agreeable and respectful, then yes, let him find out the hard way, on his own.
If he doesn't move out, he's not learning how to be a man, but how to stay a boy. Experience talking.
Update: He has an appointment for his driving test next Thursday. If I can just keep him off the streets by himself until then, everything should be fine. I haven't resorted to taking the keys yet, because yesterday he complied. He didn't drive his car without me in the car with him. Honestly, though, I can't wait until he's licensed and this whole thing becomes a non-issue!
Be aware that he may have to show proof of insurance before taking the test. I believe when my youngest took the test about a year ago, we had to provide registration and the insurance card. You can let him take the test in your car though. Also, when our sons were learning to drive, we didn't have to specifically insure them. That happened after they got their licenses and of course, our rates went up.
He doesn't have a driver's license yet, because his grades weren't that great....
If I was 20 years old and didn't have a drivers license and didn't know how to drive a car I would have already gone out of my mind.
Fortunately I've known how to drive since I was 12 years old(used to drive on the farm). Got my permit at 15.5 and licensed at 16 on my birthday. It's hard for me to imagine it being any different.
Your son is an adult....whether or not he acts like it. He ought to have learned to do this years ago. What's the hold up?
Personally, it sounds like she is doing a good job. She wants her son to get more education. By allowing him to stay in her house with very specific rules (moving out if he doesn't maintain a C-average), she is showing him how much she values education. Now, if he continued to ignore his mother on the car issue and kept breaking the laws, I would be more concerned. But it looks like he has seen the light, at least a little, on this issue.
Lets not forget that when he dropped out of college last year, he started working and paid her rent. A true leach wouldn't work and definitely wouldn't pay rent.
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However, I agree that kids need both a mother and a father. I'm only sorry I didn't pick a better man to be their dad. 
Honestly, though, I can't wait until he's licensed and this whole thing becomes a non-issue!
