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[quote=LeafsFan85;4816930]I think any Women/Men that even analyzed this though after the baby is born shouldn't have kid at all.
Afterall once the kid is born is all about the baby, you don't have time or energy to think about you, 24/7 is all about the baby and you do it because you want to do it not because you have to do it.
I have 1 child and I love him dearly but I can't say i would have another one however. I like children, but when they're on someone's else yard, if you know what i mean.
I don't think liking/disliking children makes a woman a bad person. That's just a nonsense. I know few women who have tons of neices and nephews, and are happy to spend time with them, but want no children on their own.
Last edited by autumngal; 08-11-2008 at 01:08 PM..
Reason: we r here :)
Thanks nuala. You are absolutely right. I do not mean women with children. I mean young women who do not yet have children. I just feel like society expects woman to fall over themselves when kids are around and some woman, like my friend, play right into this. Sorry for the confusion. I'm new to this.
I think the most mature and unselfish decision you can make for any child and society at large is not to have them if you don't truly want them. They require absolute dedication and we live in a very self-centered society where parents find it extremely challenging to meet the requirements of being a selfless parent.
I think the most mature and unselfish decision you can make for any child and society at large is not to have them if you don't truly want them. They require absolute dedication and we live in a very self-centered society where parents find it extremely challenging to meet the requirements of being a selfless parent.
That right! Truth parent wouldn't consider one week at a beach resort, over one hectic week at Disney for vacation.
Unless you already did Disney a few months ago.
I love my daughter more than life itself but I don't want more children. I'm not someone who wants to hold babies or ever thought much about having children. I'd say I 'tolerated' neices and nephews more than actually enjoyed being around them.
That said, the love I have for my child is beyond anything I ever imagined. And don't forget, you raise your child your way. Some of the things other parents find 'adorable' I find annoying (like baby talk). You won't like or love every child. They're little people. You wouldn't like every adult or want to be around them either.
Cut your friend some slack. Maybe she's not trying to convince everyone else, maybe she's trying to convince herself
Many of my colleagues and friends are career women and they do not seem to have much interest in children - they are involved directly with accomplishing things. I don't think it is bad or good, but how you are raised. And after all, we men have always been like that and no one criticised us for it.
Well, what does bother me, is when I hear women say, "the most important job in the world is raising my child." Barf.
Not that I have ANY problem with parents taking parenting seriously, raising their children at home full time, and in any other way making choice that are good and right for their family and beliefs. That's all great.
My issue is with the general idea that child rearing eclipses every other enterprise on earth, that nothing else one could ever do would have as great an impact on the world. That's baloney. It may not have as much impact on your child's world - but not the whole world.
I never was the motherly type, nor did I try to act. I did see women who'd oooh and aaah around babies/toddlers. It depended - sometimes it did seem fake, and sometimes you believed it. Public performance around kids is no indicator how they actually will treat their own kids. Some reserved women love their kids in anassuming, wise ways.
Well the question is, "Do women feel compelled to love kids?" and I'd have to answer honestly and say "No".
Now here's the catch: I adore MY kids.
Other kids, whatever. It depends on the kid. Before I had kids I was not all ga-ga over babies and toddlers. Sure, some were especially cute and I reacted accordingly but I was not one of those "OH, I LOVE children!!" women.
I babysat for years and many of those kids were just awful. Nothing pleasant in it for me at all. I was never mean to the children or anything but often desperately counted the hours until the parents returned!
Kids always flocked to ME which was at times annoying! I worked for years as the afterschool teacher at my kids private school, and substitute taught as well. It was interesting, and I bonded with many of the children but not all.
I do have a lot of empathy and compassion with regards to children (and animals, and the elderly, and anyone else who cannot fend for themselves) and I get outraged at abuse and maltreatment... and I've considered teaching because I know I am GOOD with kids, but I still don't have any silly overall gushiness about kids in general.
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