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Well here is my story. I took a girl to Girl Scout Camp last weekend with my troop. Her mother is one of my best friends. She only eats PB&J. She MIGHT eat other things but mainly PB&J. Mom was going to pack her PB&J and I told her no. She will either eat what we have or she will go hungry. We have 2 snacks, breakfast, lunch, dinner and campfire with s'mores. I am quite sure she won't go hungry. She will find something to eat. The child never ONCE asked me for PB&J. She even ate the lasagna that her mother says she has never eaten ONE TIME ever.
First, We were out in the fresh air and getting plenty of exercise.
Second, I just didn't ask her what she wanted. We had a serving line.
Third, they had a good variety. If she hadn't wanted it she wouldn't have eaten it.
In my house, I don't do a menu. I am not a chef. I cook what my husband and I want for meals. If there is something that they just detest, I wouldn't force them to eat it. I do not require my children to finish their food but I do require them to clean their plate IF they want dessert. If they don't eat all their food it might be awhile to the next meal. Like for example: On Friday night if they don't eat it all, I might not cook breakfast on Saturday until 10-11am. They will be REAL hungry by then and they will eat it. I don't take orders.
Is he hungry enough? How much activity does he do? This will help him to have appetite.
You can do this. Either you can allow him to control the life in your home or you can.
Tell him, Bobby, I don't think it is fair that you are holding our family hostage over your food problems. Here is the deal. I am going to cook this and this and this. You can either eat or not. DO NOT GIVE IN. Believe me if he gets hungry he will cry, freak out, no telling what else. No snacks between meals. Save that plate of food. If he gets hungry tell him I have your food from dinner in the fridge, I will brb with it. Heat it in the microwave and hand to him. If he don't want to eat it, fine. Tomorrow make him another plate. Change the food and there ya go. Do not have PB&J for a crutch. Don't let him snack unless it is on fruit and veggies that you know are good for him. NO DRESSING. Dressing is not a snack it is a fat on the food pyramid. All it does is add calories. I hate to sound like a hard a$$ but letting a child run my home isn't in the cards for us. One time I told a mother, being nice is ok but sometimes you have to be a MOTHER. Mothering isn't always being nice. Sometimes it is doing what is best for your child. It is nice when those two things coincide. That just don't always happen. GOOOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
It would be nice if it was just that easy. My son has been in similar situation and literally WILL NOT eat. He has been at sleepovers, and chooses not to eat, just be hungry. He did this while we were on vacation in the Bahamas. Where we were staying, they did not have hardly any of the foods he eats. He would choose to skip a meal or not eat a thing all day.
You're the adult here, You buy and prepare the food. He can't eat Coco Puffs and the other crap if you don't bring it into the house. Don't bring him to the grocery store. Shop for heathy foods. The child is getting too many carbs/sweets and not enough protein. How are his grades? Is he active? Is he tired? If he'd rather go hungry then eat a balanced meal, it's not going to kill him. You might be giving this issue more attention then it needs, so when he doesn't eat, the focus is all on him. He's enjoying the attention plus he gets to have things his way. At first he will be angry and cranky. You must stand your ground. A growing child needs nuitrition not the crap he's been eating. If you don't change those eating habits now, he will take them into adulthood and risk all type of diseases and disorders. Be firm, good luck.
It would be nice if it was just that easy. My son has been in similar situation and literally WILL NOT eat. He has been at sleepovers, and chooses not to eat, just be hungry. He did this while we were on vacation in the Bahamas. Where we were staying, they did not have hardly any of the foods he eats. He would choose to skip a meal or not eat a thing all day.
The key word here is 'choose'.
A child will eat when he gets good and hungry no matter what is offered. It's not like he has to eat acid or nothing.
The more a parent bends to satisfy, the more demanding the child becomes. POWER is EVERYTHING. They will test you to the limit. Take that power out of their hands, and they are easier to get along with because they no longer have the responsibility of calling the shots.
This has been quite an interesting thread. I don't usually read every post when they're several pages long, but I couldn't help it. I really feel for the OP and other parents who have similar children. I can't imagine how stressful it must be. My older daughter is a little picky. Not like OP's kid, but typical toddler picky. She ate broccoli like there was no tomorrow (cooked and fresh) for six months, then suddenly couldn't stand it. I just kept offering, and one day, several months later, she started eating it again. My younger daughter is starting to get more picky but she started out eating everything plus the wrapping, typically eats up to twice as much (older is 3, younger is 16 months) as her sister. I follow the same rules for both. You get what you get, and if you don't want it, fine. But you're not getting anything else. You can finish your milk if you want it, the end. Both kids, even the younger, have completely skipped a meal, or eaten very little in a given day. But I always figure they are not hungry. The older is now able to understand that if she wants her goldfish crackers, she has to finish her dinner. And if she's still hungry after the goldfish crackers (I only give her a small handful), there's always more dinner. I also employ "well if you want more favored food, you need to take another bite of this." She is getting more stubborn as she gets older, but at mealtime, as with my other non-negotiables, she knows the score. I have never veered from this unless we are out in an unfamiliar environment, and I need her to be cooperative.
I see that OP has already seen the light on snacks. I cut them out a few months ago because I wanted to know if my older daughter's drop in mealtime eating was due to the snacks. It was and it wasn't. Sometimes she's hungrier than others. There was a period where it felt like she was hardly eating, yet she continued to gain weight, even when she got sick. That's why I don't worry. She's a peanut, but a healthy weight peanut.
OP and others with picky eaters. Please don't take this as judgement on your parenting. As I said, my kids aren't your kids, and I can't imagine what it's like going through this.
I have to say I really hate when people think it is just that easy to not feed your child, and let them go hungry and they will eat. You have no idea what my son is like and what he goes through. I am not sure if the OP's child is like my son, but my son suffers from severe anxiety. For him to even take cough medicine it is impossible.
So please, don't think I am being a bad parent, I am not feeding my son only junk. He eats apples, bananas, pizza, hot dogs, and pancakes. Sprinkle in a lot of carbs with that. A picky eater is very different from what my son (and it sounds like) the OP's son is going through. So please get off your high horse until you are in my shoes.
I have to say I really hate when people think it is just that easy to not feed your child, and let them go hungry and they will eat. You have no idea what my son is like and what he goes through. I am not sure if the OP's child is like my son, but my son suffers from severe anxiety. For him to even take cough medicine it is impossible.
So please, don't think I am being a bad parent, I am not feeding my son only junk. He eats apples, bananas, pizza, hot dogs, and pancakes. Sprinkle in a lot of carbs with that. A picky eater is very different from what my son (and it sounds like) the OP's son is going through. So please get off your high horse until you are in my shoes.
I think (at least I hope!) that most of us know there's a difference between a picky eater, and a person with an illness that manifests in picky eating (among other things). The OP was asking for help because her son is a picky eater; many of us responded. I think one of the earliest respondents said to get him evaluated as he may have more serious issues. Now I think the OP responded positively to that, but another parent may have been shocked or even offended by such a suggestion.
I'm very sorry if you felt like you are being judged.
A child will eat when he gets good and hungry no matter what is offered. It's not like he has to eat acid or nothing.
The more a parent bends to satisfy, the more demanding the child becomes. POWER is EVERYTHING. They will test you to the limit. Take that power out of their hands, and they are easier to get along with because they no longer have the responsibility of calling the shots.
Thanks maestramommy I should have quoted the poster that was referring directly to me.
I hate to say this but I'm RELIEVED to see there are so many kids like this. My 7 yr old is the same way and I am damn near ready for a breakdown over it. So OP and other Moms I COMPLETELY understand your stress.
My 7 yr old eats pancakes, bread and butter or once in a blue moon Kix and milk for breakfast.
Lunch and dinner consist of Chicken nuggets, Chicken Parm, Spaghetti, Mac & Cheese or pancakes - again. NO veggies (except Beech Nut Sweet Potatoes and Applesauce which is IMPOSSIBLE to find and not meant for a 7 yr old) and applesauce if I force it. It has gotten worse, not better, as she gets older.
I'm actually taking her for an evaluation. When she was a baby she did have an eating problem and didn't eat solids until she was 3. I'm wondering if there is more going on than meets the eye.
My kids were not given the opportunity to becoming picky eaters. They either ate what I cooked or they didn't eat. Simple as that. I was not going to place myself in the position of being someone's short-order cook.
I've never met a child who would go hungry for too long. They'll eventually eat. Unless they have an allergic reaction to some particular food, then there's no reason for pickiness, IMO.
My kids were not given the opportunity to becoming picky eaters. They either ate what I cooked or they didn't eat. Simple as that. I was not going to place myself in the position of being someone's short-order cook.
I've never met a child who would go hungry for too long. They'll eventually eat. Unless they have an allergic reaction to some particular food, then there's no reason for pickiness, IMO.
Exactly, do not give your kids the opportunity to become picky eaters. These moms crack me up, their kids will ONLY eat mac and cheese, pancakes. That's what you're bringing into the house. The OP's kid acts picky yet he's stealing food out of the cupboard, he's for from starving. She cries for help because the kid is not eating. She should be more worried about raising a sneaky kid who steals. Buy heathy foods, your kids won't starve. If you can't get your kids to eat properly I'm sure you've lost control is other areas in their life as well. I'll bet bed time and bath time run on your child's schedule instead of your own. Kids learn how to wear you down. Stop being so soft and easy. Children aren't born spoiled.
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GOOOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!
