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Old 10-02-2008, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Maine
650 posts, read 2,034,950 times
Reputation: 559

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Quote:
Originally Posted by padcrasher View Post
Give me a break. Have you ever done something you were torn about doing?

I can say I'm having to diet to get ready for my High School reunion and that means I'm saying I must diet???

You think pointing out that I do have a choice of whether or not send my kids to Kumon is some profound insight you came up with??

Of course I have a choice. Every thing written is not meant to be taken literally.

It's known as "figure of speech." Come to think of it you could use some Kumon lessons.
If you make a conscious choice to do something, why are you torn about it? Own your choice. It is important for you to have your children equal to or surpassing the Asians in your community. Why resent your decision? That is what YOU wrote.-- resent. So sorry that you couldn't convey that you didn't really mean it.
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Old 10-02-2008, 02:31 PM
 
13,180 posts, read 13,730,168 times
Reputation: 4537
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2girlsand2boys View Post
If you make a conscious choice to do something, why are you torn about it? Own your choice. It is important for you to have your children equal to or surpassing the Asians in your community. Why resent your decision? That is what YOU wrote.-- resent. So sorry that you couldn't convey that you didn't really mean it.
Take your psychobabble to the Philosophy forum.

As for your comprehension skills, they need to be improved.

Having : to "feel obligation" in regard to —usually used with an infinitive with to<we have things to do><have a deadline to meet>



That's exactly what I intended to convey in the title........ I resent "feeling obligated" to send my kids to Kumon.

The word "having"...... having more than one strict meaning, is exactly what "confuses" you...LOL

Last edited by padcrasher; 10-02-2008 at 02:44 PM..
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Old 10-02-2008, 02:49 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,755,200 times
Reputation: 3200
Quote:
Originally Posted by nuala View Post
Let me take it back a bit. I'm coming from the same college-driven mentality, too. Akin to the Chinese and Indian. You were not given an option to chose what you liked to do. No options given, and that was that. You have to go to a university to amount to anything. Not to get just any meandering Arts degree but the best in potential earnings and status - be it programming, medical, or legal. In my time it was all about programming, but now it's about medicine.

People in China and India are conditioned to strive. They live exactly like you see it on TV - very crowded. Every college space, every good job has hundreds and thousands of potential applicants. They drink it with their mother's milk - to get chosen from a thousand, you must be the best. To be the best, you must start the best - try to be the best student in school, try to win competitions.

They come to North America and first, they see room. Lots of room space so people don't elbow each other. When this shock wears off, they see that the competition to get a space in a college is so much less harsh than in their native countries. There is a real chance for them to become not just a doctor, but an American doctor. They would be fools not to take this opportunity.

They bring with them their survival study habits, too. They study as if they still have thousands to beat. The second or third Chinese generation will get softer, Americanish. But the first wave can seem impossible to the Americans.

And you know what. When I see a Chinese pediatric cardiologist (they tend to take the hardest specializations, too) - my confidence level goes higher - because I know that he studied since he was a child, not played soccer.

Not that playing soccer is bad. The American education system is much more liberal and probably is better in developing well-rounded individuals. Downsides exist in both - a one-goal driven person might regret it later, and a person with too many choices might spend decades searching what exactly he wants to do.
What a well thought out response! Thank you.

I think if some Americans would spend a month or so truly LIVING in an Asian community, they would be absolutely floored with what they saw & experienced. I've never lived in India so I cannot comment. I came back from Korea almost embarassed at how this society is run. Still love the freedom this country offers & the incredible opportunity, but it is been thrown to waste by excessive choice, greed, and need for instant gratification rather than work.
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Old 10-02-2008, 02:53 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,755,200 times
Reputation: 3200
Quote:
Originally Posted by padcrasher View Post
That's exactly what I intended to convey in the title........ I resent "feeling obligated" to send my kids to Kumon.
I can see where you are coming from.
Question: What do you plan to do in order for your child to have the skill set to be competitive in the international community?

I don't mean this as a sarcastic comment. I am curious to know if you have an alternative idea or method.

You have a point. And a good point.

But, since you don't literally have to send them to Kumon, what are the other choices? Your child can still be successful & competitive with other methods!
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Old 10-02-2008, 02:58 PM
 
Location: ATL suburb
1,366 posts, read 3,836,235 times
Reputation: 1568
Once upon a time, I was a tutor. I spent 1 hour twice a week with "my" students. Within 3 months I could see a significant difference, whether it be math, reading, reading comprehension, or a science. The thing is, parents were spending ridiculous amounts of money for me to do things with their child that they could do for free at home. I'm talking about basic things, reading on-level stories and asking the kids questions about them; doing math flashcards; drilling spelling and grammar, etc. What would kill me is the parents who sat in the waiting room the whole hour while I tutored. If you're college educated, there's no reason in the world why YOU couldn't help your child improve their skills, unless your child has some type of learning or behavioral difficulty, in which case, you should be seeing a certified professional. Now that I have my own child, I know what to work on and how to do it, and my child is doing extremely well academically. He's not uber-nerd, but he's considered to be on an advanced track.

From what I've seen (and this may not be true in all regions), Kumon tends to pay the least to it's tutors. I've seen quotes of $7-$10 per hour pay for tutors. Yet some of the more private tutoring companies pay their tutors upwards of $20, depending on their degree and experience, and some have a requirement for either an advanced degree or graduation from a top 50 ranked school. If I want my child tutored for a Chemistry, Medicine, Law, etc track, the last place I'd send my kid is to Kumon.

If I needed my child to be tutored, it would be in a subject that I have no aptitude for like Calculus or Physics. Otherwise, everything else only requires a cursory look before I actually help my child.

I do have to say, I've worked with doctors and biologists of all nationalities, and from what I've seen, I don't believe for a second that Asians and Indians are necessarily smarter. However, they work much harder. In undergrad and above, I've seen them pull 24 hour study sessions in preparation for a test, while others groups only studied a fraction of that amount and still got similar grades. A strong work ethic can offset less inherent intelligence*.

*Please note, I'm not saying these groups are less intelligent by any means, I just mean I find this statement to be true in general regardless of race or culture.
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Old 10-02-2008, 03:02 PM
 
2,838 posts, read 9,361,849 times
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I have a question. I am going to try to tread lightly here.

If you do not think that the school is going to prepare your child properly for the rest of his/her life, then why are you sending him/her there? Is there anything you could do to make your child's educational experience better/more enriching than sending him to school for 7 hours and then to Kumon afterwards, then home to do homework? If you dislike doing that, but feel obligated to do so because the school is not doing its job, then.... what? Is there an alternative?
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Old 10-02-2008, 03:07 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,755,200 times
Reputation: 3200
Quote:
Originally Posted by anadyr21 View Post
Once upon a time, I was a tutor. I spent 1 hour twice a week with "my" students. Within 3 months I could see a significant difference, whether it be math, reading, reading comprehension, or a science. The thing is, parents were spending ridiculous amounts of money for me to do things with their child that they could do for free at home. I'm talking about basic things, reading on-level stories and asking the kids questions about them; doing math flashcards; drilling spelling and grammar, etc. What would kill me is the parents who sat in the waiting room the whole hour while I tutored.
As a former teacher, I tried to tell this to parents over & over & over. Some did just not want to hear it.
Some parents think spending $$ & sending their child to a center that has state of the art everything down to the erogonomic chairs will make them the next Bill Gates.

TAKE TIME to TEACH YOUR child. Even the best school teacher in the world cannot compete with how a child learns when mom or dad takes them time to teach them.

Of course, as you stated, this does not apply to children who do have legitimate learning or emotional challenges.

Kumon has its advantages, but it is also a business. A well run business that has churned out some smart kids b/c a tutor sat down with them.
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Old 10-02-2008, 03:55 PM
 
Location: Kansas
3,855 posts, read 12,253,252 times
Reputation: 1722
My wife went back to school this semester. She's taking a math class...maybe I should send her to Kumon.
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Old 10-02-2008, 04:01 PM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 6,383,037 times
Reputation: 2648
Quote:
Originally Posted by anadyr21 View Post
If you're college educated, there's no reason in the world why YOU couldn't help your child improve their skills, unless your child has some type of learning or behavioral difficulty, in which case, you should be seeing a certified professional.
In my sister's case, my mom tried to help her with her math, but my mom (though college educated) is just not that good at math, and doesn't really remember the details of middle school math anyway. The tutors at Kumon were better able to help my sister understand her math, even if just because they do it there every day.
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Old 10-02-2008, 04:04 PM
 
542 posts, read 1,583,816 times
Reputation: 322
Call me old fashioned if you like, but I have to agree with some others that I see a tutoring place for those students struggling to keep up in one or more subjects vs. trying to supercede everyone else.

A strong work ethic is partly inherent in us and partly taught by example in my opinion. I just don't think sending a student is already doing well to a place like that is going to give them some edge later in life and take away some job from someone else.
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