What age should a boy be to use the men's public bathroom by himself?
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I know it's been suggested before, but I highly recommend all parents read Protecting the Gift. It talks a lot about HOW these things happen. The prime defense we as parents have is following our gut instincts and being alert and aware. Sticking our fingers in our ears and singing "la la la" and pretending that terrible things don't happen is not going to make bad things go away.
As the author points out in the book, looking like a lunatic or an overprotective whacko or even a b***c is of no concern when safety might be at stake. If someone makes you uneasy and you say loudly "leave me alone!" then someone innocent might get his feelings hurt, or you might have saved your own life. If you take your 9 year old boy into the ladies' room, then someone nearby might get huffy and offended, but then again, you might have saved your son's life or his innocence.
It does not matter what an internet stranger has to say about it. You never know if someone on the 'net is actually a parent or actually has the children they say they do, or if they are a random teenager posting drivel, or if they are a 42 year old man living in his mother's basement... do what's best for you and your child.
Mommytotwo - I would never have guessed that what you said about the park in Longmeadow would have some creeps at an event that draws thousands of families and kids. Just goes to show that no place is immune to whackos.
It's actually in Springfield, on the Springfield/Longmeadow line.
Exactly. I never had an incident during Bright Nites, but obviously, we're all in our cars, and it being night time and all, even if we were out of our cars, parents usually keep closer tabs on their kids in the dark.
Keep in mind that this is not necessarily in men's bathrooms only. It can happen just as easily in a women's bathroom also. It can happen to grown men & women though children are the easiest prey.
As a grown woman, I still check in every stall if the bathroom is empty. I also heard one time that the safest stall is the very first one.
I am more annoyed with the lady on her cellphone letting anyone in the bathroom hear how her conversation than a mother bringing in a child. I don't even look twice it's so common to see children in public bathrooms.
Do I walk around terrified every where I go? No. Do I instill in my child to be frightened of his own shadow? No.
The fact is that it is not a safe world & that certain situations require being a little more vigilant. Public bathrooms, amusement parks, mall parking lots..the list can go on unfortunately. Joe Pervert is not contained. He is just waiting for the opportunity. Sorry, my 3yr old will not be his victim. My job as his mom is to protect him as a young child. He's potty trained. I could send him in by himself. But right now he is not mature enough to defend himself or understand how to leave a bad situation.
Common sense needs to be applied. And protecting your child is common sense & you really start to understand that once you have a child. How YOU go about doing it is your perogative.
It does not matter what an internet stranger has to say about it. You never know if someone on the 'net is actually a parent or actually has the children they say they do, or if they are a random teenager posting drivel, or if they are a 42 year old man living in his mother's basement... do what's best for you and your child.
Nothing like a bunch of sissy boys trailing after their mamas. To hear some of these women talk, you'd think men stood around in men's rooms just waiting for a young one to come in so we can get him. Shoot, they're ok in there.
You've got to more careful with your boy going to cubscout camp or church camps than into a men's room.
First off, my kids no sissy, and he doesn't "trail after his momma"
Secondly, the sad thing is, you are probably right, statistically speaking, almost certainly right.
My son is in cub scouts. I watch him like a hawk as well as every man around. I am getting to know his den leader and the fathers of the other scouts in his den. Luckily he is in a small den, and in general the parents are so involved there is no opportunity for any wrong doing. I am with my son whenever there is a scouting event. He is never alone with a male who is not related. At the point in time that he is, I will be carefully monitoring his behavior as well as asking some very carefully worded questions.
We are not making it out like you, "hank morgan" are lurking around in a mens room waiting for our boys to enter. We are just cautious. You cannot blame us because I for one, know that my children are the TWO things in my life that cannot be replaced. Jobs, homes, things, all can go up in smoke in front of my eyes, as long as my kids are safe I am happy.
As for church camp, we don't do that sort of thing. I went to sleepover summer camp, and I'd like to send my son there as well. How will I handle that? I don't know. Luckily there are other factors that make overnight camp impossible for us right now so I will cross that bridge when I come to it, because, you are right, any kind of camp also poses another possible "dangerous" situation.
Don't act like there is no problem w/boys in the men's room. "shoot, they're ok in there" If there weren't shocking incidents all across the country we wouldn't even be talking about it. But there are, and MEN are the perpetrators. We are not making this up. Obviously, it does not need to be said that the VAST majority of men in the men's room will be harmless individuals only in there to take a pee and leave. Duh! I don't think anyone here implied otherwise. No one here suggested that a large percentage of men are pedophiles. What we are concerned with are the small percentage who are whackos. Yes, they are a SMALL percentage, but the DO EXIST.
First off, my kids no sissy, and he doesn't "trail after his momma"
Secondly, the sad thing is, you are probably right, statistically speaking, almost certainly right.
My son is in cub scouts. I watch him like a hawk as well as every man around. I am getting to know his den leader and the fathers of the other scouts in his den. Luckily he is in a small den, and in general the parents are so involved there is no opportunity for any wrong doing. I am with my son whenever there is a scouting event. He is never alone with a male who is not related. At the point in time that he is, I will be carefully monitoring his behavior as well as asking some very carefully worded questions.
We are not making it out like you, "hank morgan" are lurking around in a mens room waiting for our boys to enter. We are just cautious. You cannot blame us because I for one, know that my children are the TWO things in my life that cannot be replaced. Jobs, homes, things, all can go up in smoke in front of my eyes, as long as my kids are safe I am happy.
As for church camp, we don't do that sort of thing. I went to sleepover summer camp, and I'd like to send my son there as well. How will I handle that? I don't know. Luckily there are other factors that make overnight camp impossible for us right now so I will cross that bridge when I come to it, because, you are right, any kind of camp also poses another possible "dangerous" situation.
Don't act like there is no problem w/boys in the men's room. "shoot, they're ok in there" If there weren't shocking incidents all across the country we wouldn't even be talking about it. But there are, and MEN are the perpetrators. We are not making this up. Obviously, it does not need to be said that the VAST majority of men in the men's room will be harmless individuals only in there to take a pee and leave. Duh! I don't think anyone here implied otherwise. No one here suggested that a large percentage of men are pedophiles. What we are concerned with are the small percentage who are whackos. Yes, they are a SMALL percentage, but the DO EXIST.
Why even reply to this poster anymore mommy? It is obvious by her/his posts that this person has no children. The fact that they stated sissy mommas boys make me questiuon their credibility!
Take this with you "If you let any boob whom does not understand the dynamics of "Keeping a child safe" until they are safe to do so for themselves" you are spending way too much time on these idiots! Your son is not a sissy not at all I am just concerned about my man child as the next mom and if I stoped to think what would **** other women off by allowing my son to use the womens bathroom? He would have free pissing in the mens bathroom and possibly getting hurt....So in conclusion? You do what you need to do after all it is your son that matters right? Not the post of some hapless twit....Case closed....Next THREAD PLEASE.
Well, I skipped pages 7-9 because of all the bickering, but other than that--thank you everyone for some great ideas. I have two young boys and have wondered this myself. I think I will invoke the "potty patrol" or singing idea.
My two cents, is that all of us who aren't perverts need to be on patrol for other parents' children as well. I was just at the Target bathroom last week with my own 5 y.o. son. The only other person in the bathroom was a girl about the same age. I made sure my son washed his hands really, really well, so that I could leave after the girl. It takes a community to raise a child...
It does not matter what an internet stranger has to say about it. You never know if someone on the 'net is actually a parent or actually has the children they say they do, or if they are a random teenager posting drivel, or if they are a 42 year old man living in his mother's basement... do what's best for you and your child.
Obviously you are referring to me. You make me laugh. BOYS DO NOT BELONG IN WOMEN'S RESTROOMS. If you raise them right, they would be quite capable of going into the men's room by 7 or 8. If you insist on holding their hands, they may never be ready.
Obviously you are referring to me. You make me laugh. BOYS DO NOT BELONG IN WOMEN'S RESTROOMS. If you raise them right, they would be quite capable of going into the men's room by 7 or 8. If you insist on holding their hands, they may never be ready.
This is a very personal topic and everyone is entitled to their own opinion so to insist that everyone follows someone elses personal standards is very unfair. There have been way too many reports on this thread so I feel it needs to end now. This thread is now closed.
Last edited by jeannie216; 10-09-2008 at 11:20 AM..
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Parents are the grown-ups. They should act like one.