U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 11-10-2010, 06:19 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,268,901 times
Reputation: 1727

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts View Post
So they could live with you for free for 4-5 years?


Trade school = College. Full time job is fine. But they are paying rent

So basically if they decide college isn't for them and want to move up in their career you won't support them then?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-10-2010, 06:20 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,268,901 times
Reputation: 1727
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toonces07 View Post
My father charged "rent" in the amount of 25% of income for ALL of the babysitting and part-time jobs I had in high school and college. I moved out about a year after graduating from college.

When I was 24, my father gave me a check. He had invested the "rent" money. He told me I could use it to buy a house or to start a business. I used it to start a business. Thanks, Dad!

The funny thing is, I really resented my father for collecting "rent" money. My parents are wealthy and I couldn't understand why he was being such an ass. None of my friends paid rent. But, in retrospect, I am really glad he did. There is no free ride in life. I plan to do the same thing for my child.


Umm legally you didn't have to pay him you do know that right?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2010, 06:39 PM
 
Location: In a house
13,253 posts, read 39,275,820 times
Reputation: 20198
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
Umm legally you didn't have to pay him you do know that right?
Um, legally he didn't have to give his kids an allowance, or christmas presents, or birthday presents, or anything other than food, clothing, shelter, a basic, medically sound existence, and the means to acquire a public school education. Or rides to sports events, or help fund the soccer team, or even allow his child to play soccer, or any other after school activity for that matter.

However, this isn't about what's legal. It's about what's right. And it is perfectly right and normal and acceptable for a family to demand that the children contribute to the family. Whether that's by mowing the lawn, or kicking in a percentage of the income (ESPECIALLY in the case where the father invested it right back into that child's personal funds)...is up to the individual family.

If I ever pulled the "that isn't legal" crap on my mother she would've laughed me right into my bedroom where I'd be grounded until I was "legally" allowed to move out. And then, she'd help me pack my bags and make sure I was out the day I was "legally" allowed to be.

"That isn't legal" is for ingrates who think they are entitled simply because they exist.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2010, 06:42 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,268,901 times
Reputation: 1727
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick View Post
Um, legally he didn't have to give his kids an allowance, or christmas presents, or birthday presents, or anything other than food, clothing, shelter, a basic, medically sound existence, and the means to acquire a public school education. Or rides to sports events, or help fund the soccer team, or even allow his child to play soccer, or any other after school activity for that matter.

However, this isn't about what's legal. It's about what's right. And it is perfectly right and normal and acceptable for a family to demand that the children contribute to the family. Whether that's by mowing the lawn, or kicking in a percentage of the income (ESPECIALLY in the case where the father invested it right back into that child's personal funds)...is up to the individual family.

If I ever pulled the "that isn't legal" crap on my mother she would've laughed me right into my bedroom where I'd be grounded until I was "legally" allowed to move out. And then, she'd help me pack my bags and make sure I was out the day I was "legally" allowed to be.

"That isn't legal" is for ingrates who think they are entitled simply because they exist.

And i would have laughed right at my mother and told her where to stick it basically . And yes children are supposed to contribute, but requiring a tax for your child is a bit ridiculous.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2010, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
23,517 posts, read 25,149,004 times
Reputation: 40239
Quote:
And i would have laughed right at my mother and told her where to stick it basically
If either one of my kids ever responded this way.....whether we were asking them to contribute would be the LEAST of their worries.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2010, 06:47 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,268,901 times
Reputation: 1727
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
If either one of my kids ever responded this way.....whether we were asking them to contribute would be the LEAST of their worries.

Generally i never did unless my mother or father asked something ridiculous of me. Like trying to force me to get into cheerleading with threats.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2010, 06:57 PM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,653,623 times
Reputation: 1928
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
So basically if they decide college isn't for them and want to move up in their career you won't support them then?
I support my kids in everything they do. As I said earlier, they will always have a home with me should they need it, but it will never be a free one.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2010, 07:02 PM
 
90 posts, read 207,592 times
Reputation: 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
Umm legally you didn't have to pay him you do know that right?
Legal or not, it wasn't a choice. I would never disrespect my father by telling him what he did was illegal. If I didn't like it, I could say it with my feet. And I did. I moved out as soon as I had enough money saved to insure my financial freedom and independence.

He did not have to pay for my college tuition, but he did. He did not have to teach me some of the harsh realities of life, but he did. He felt a need to create people who could sustain life without being too affected...emotionally, financially, etc.

I could get into his reasoning, but I think it doesn't really matter at this point. The point is he was one tough son of a ***** who expected people to earn their way in life. He gave me the means and the desire (a work ethic and a free college education) to be an independent person. I have never asked him for a dime since. And I know he would give me help if I asked. I saved 50% of my net income when I worked.

The fact is, I am now a stay-at-home mom and I can do that because he taught me the value of money. Money saved equals freedom to choose. The more money you save/have/whatever the greater freedom you have. Granted, my husband makes a very good living, but we would never be where we are if my father did not emphasize fiscal and personal responsibility.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2010, 07:03 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,268,901 times
Reputation: 1727
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts View Post
I support my kids in everything they do. As I said earlier, they will always have a home with me should they need it, but it will never be a free one.

Which i can understand, but if your children decide college isn't for them and are working very hard to advance why should you not extend the same offer you would give them if they decided on college? Contrary to popular belief not everyone is cut out for school. I can understand if they are like my little cousin who is 22 and working part time at border....then yeah i would agree with you. But you seem to be biased against anything not school related.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-10-2010, 07:04 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,268,901 times
Reputation: 1727
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toonces07 View Post
Legal or not, it wasn't a choice. I would never disrespect my father by telling him what he did was illegal. If I didn't like it, I could say it with my feet. And I did. I moved out as soon as I had enough money saved to insure my financial freedom and independence.

He did not have to pay for my college tuition, but he did. He did not have to teach me some of the harsh realities of life, but he did. He felt a need to create people who could sustain life without being too affected...emotionally, financially, etc.

I could get into his reasoning, but I think it doesn't really matter at this point. The point is he was one tough son of a ***** who expected people to earn their way in life. He gave me the means and the desire (a work ethic and a free college education) to be an independent person. I have never asked him for a dime since. And I know he would give me help if I asked. I saved 50% of my net income when I worked.

The fact is, I am now a stay-at-home mom and I can do that because he taught me the value of money. Money saved equals freedom to choose. The more money you save/have/whatever the greater freedom you have. Granted, my husband makes a very good living, but we would never be where we are if my father did not emphasize fiscal and personal responsibility.
I don't view it as disrespect to call your parents out on dumb decisions. Even parents are not infallible and do some stuff that baffles the mind.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top