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Old 11-10-2010, 06:06 PM
 
90 posts, read 209,954 times
Reputation: 124

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts View Post
I support my kids in everything they do. As I said earlier, they will always have a home with me should they need it, but it will never be a free one.
I feel the same way. I always tell my daughter that she can always come home throughout her life if she needs me. But I have expectations of her being a self supporting individual at some point. She fully understands the importance of being her own person and creating her own life.

It is important for children to be allowed to naturally attain their independence. They must be given support and direction. I would not kick out an 18 year old. I would kick out a 24 year old lazy bum.
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:10 PM
 
90 posts, read 209,954 times
Reputation: 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
I don't view it as disrespect to call your parents out on dumb decisions. Even parents are not infallible and do some stuff that baffles the mind.
No kidding....it's almost as if you met my mother-in-law. LOL!

Seriously, though, I was a teenager and contrary to popular belief, I did not know everything. I trust my father did what he felt was best for me. I did not like it, but I did respect him as a father.
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:12 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,408,163 times
Reputation: 1729
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toonces07 View Post
No kidding....it's almost as if you met my mother-in-law. LOL!

Seriously, though, I was a teenager and contrary to popular belief, I did not know everything. I trust my father did what he felt was best for me. I did not like it, but I did respect him as a father.

In your case your father did a nice thing with the money. But i have seen parents do that sort of stuff just to pay for pleasure things for themselves as well .
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:16 PM
 
90 posts, read 209,954 times
Reputation: 124
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
In your case your father did a nice thing with the money. But i have seen parents do that sort of stuff just to pay for pleasure things for themselves as well .
I know. I have seen some very bad parents disguised as pillars of society. It makes me sad.
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:16 PM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,689,472 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
Which i can understand, but if your children decide college isn't for them and are working very hard to advance why should you not extend the same offer you would give them if they decided on college? Contrary to popular belief not everyone is cut out for school. I can understand if they are like my little cousin who is 22 and working part time at border....then yeah i would agree with you. But you seem to be biased against anything not school related.
When you are an adult you are to become a productive member of society and the free ride ends. I gave them every tool to succeed as adults, now it was time to use them. If they didn't go to school and wanted to work? Fine. But they were going to contribute to the household and learn what it is like to pay bills.

FWIW, both my kids went to school, one is done his Masters, one finishes this year. Neither has ever moved home, never asked for a dime and are doing just fine. They do, however, gladly accept the care packages I still insist on sending them.
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:18 PM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
23,600 posts, read 25,852,247 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
Generally i never did unless my mother or father asked something ridiculous of me. Like trying to force me to get into cheerleading with threats.
Nope...sorry. You may respectfully question or respectfully disagree. You may not basically tell me to shove it. Not in the house I am paying for.
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:19 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,408,163 times
Reputation: 1729
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts View Post
When you are an adult you are to become a productive member of society and the free ride ends. I gave them every tool to succeed as adults, now it was time to use them. If they didn't go to school and wanted to work? Fine. But they were going to contribute to the household and learn what it is like to pay bills.

FWIW, both my kids went to school, one is done his Masters, one finishes this year. Neither has ever moved home, never asked for a dime and are doing just fine. They do, however, gladly accept the care packages I still insist on sending them.

I don't see how that logic makes any sense to be honest. If a child is making an effort what does it hurt to help them get on their feet? I would never dream of charging my children rent as long as they were working hard towards a goal.
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:22 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,408,163 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Nope...sorry. You may respectfully question or respectfully disagree. You may not basically tell me to shove it. Not in the house I am paying for.
I only did that once or twice....but in the end really what could my parents really do? If i had my mind set to do what i wanted then their options were limited. I was raised good i feel, but i was not going to be bullied to do something i didn't want because my mother felt it was really nifty.
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:24 PM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,689,472 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
I don't see how that logic makes any sense to be honest. If a child is making an effort what does it hurt to help them get on their feet? I would never dream of charging my children rent as long as they were working hard towards a goal.
Living with me is much, much cheaper than the real world would be.
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Old 11-10-2010, 06:26 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,408,163 times
Reputation: 1729
Quote:
Originally Posted by LeavingMassachusetts View Post
Living with me is much, much cheaper than the real world would be.
True, but we shall just agree to disagree on this i think
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