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Good for you Leilani. I think you handled it well. Bottom line is that YOU are his parent and YOU know what is best for him. You are not his friend to tell him "hey it's ok to do pot, I read that lawyers etc, did that and now they are ok". That's a lie!! Anyone who did/does abuse drugs (any) and alcohol has a problem....and they will not solve their problem by "numbing" themselves. Like I said before you are a strong, good mother. Hang in there. I have a 17 year old daughter, so I know the trials they go through. Fortunately, my daughter has never taken drugs, etc, but we know some kids she used to hang out did. It is important to keep an open line of communication and set the rules. I think you did good.
I think parents of teens who don't think they have the same problem you do are fooling themselves. At some point, all of my three teens have been there. Two decided it wasn't for them as they got older and one is still a pot head. Sometimes I think some kids are prone genetically to go overboard and some aren't. I really don't know. What I do know is being a loving parent who opens the door to discussion will go a lot further than a parent who pretends their kids don't experiment with any available assortment of street drugs. I think you made the perfect decision Leilani .
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani Vasquez
I can't get him involved at this time for safety reasons. It's extremely complicated to try and explain.
This sounds really terrible. I have no idea what your situation is but I'm actually wondering if marijuana use should be your primary concern. It sounds like your family problems run deep.
This sounds really terrible. I have no idea what your situation is but I'm actually wondering if marijuana use should be your primary concern. It sounds like your family problems run deep.
This sounds really terrible. I have no idea what your situation is but I'm actually wondering if marijuana use should be your primary concern. It sounds like your family problems run deep.
It does run extremely deep at this time. That's why we are all in therapy. I'm trying to conquer each issue in the best reasonable way possible.
I had the talk with him this evening. Just him and I. i tried my hardest to be loving and understanding but non-confrontational at the same time. He admitted he'd be doing it since the end of the school year, last year. It's just now that I found out.
I explained to him how much I care about his health and safety. I explained to him how much trouble he could get into if he was caught with it, or if he was caught with someone that had it. Also that the legal penalties would be quite severe. I also printed out a page of the net about the facts of the drug and read it over with him.
I actually think I got through to him.
I want to encourage him to be healthy and stay out of trouble, but also let him know that I'm there if he needs me.
I'm restricting him from the internet until i retest him. From what I read, the drug stays in your system for up to a month.
As far as other drugs are concerned. I'm in Connecticut. You don't ever hear of meth use here. Heroin and cocaine are big problems though.
Good Job!! Don't you hate it when you want to yell and scream and hug them at the same time?
I think you handled it well. Keep the lines of communication open!
I had the talk with him this evening. Just him and I. i tried my hardest to be loving and understanding but non-confrontational at the same time. He admitted he'd be doing it since the end of the school year, last year. It's just now that I found out.
I explained to him how much I care about his health and safety. I explained to him how much trouble he could get into if he was caught with it, or if he was caught with someone that had it. Also that the legal penalties would be quite severe. I also printed out a page of the net about the facts of the drug and read it over with him.
I actually think I got through to him.
I want to encourage him to be healthy and stay out of trouble, but also let him know that I'm there if he needs me.
I'm restricting him from the internet until i retest him. From what I read, the drug stays in your system for up to a month.
As far as other drugs are concerned. I'm in Connecticut. You don't ever hear of meth use here. Heroin and cocaine are big problems though.
You did good! My thoughts are for you to make sure that you spend weekly quality time with him. It shouldn't be his failing a drug test that causes you to sit down special with him. He's at an age where he's going to be subjected to lots of temptations and wanting to stay cool with his friends. And right now, you also have to put on the "dad cap" for him.
I think another important reason for him to stay away from weed and also alcohol, is that there are scientific studies showing that the human brain doesn't fully develop until the age of 25. And my thoughts are that taking drugs and drinking is going to affect the way the brain finishes developing. And having a perfectly functioning brain should be important to him. With the weed, I'd be worried about his lungs too. But just give him some facts to digest. Our medical science is advanced, but it's not perfect. If he ever needed a lung or liver transplant, he'd need to be on special immune suppression drugs all his life.
With my boyfriend's family, his dad is an alcoholic (in denial) and his little sister (24) is a recovered alcoholic. My boyfriend drinks, but only in moderation. He'll have a beer with his meal once every couple of weeks. He loves to drink, but doesn't want to turn into his dad or sister. And we think that the reason his sister's drinking got so out of control was her drinking too heavily in college. We think that had she approached her drinking like my boyfriend did, she'd be able to be a moderate drinker now.
And one doesn't have to smoke weed or drink to have fun. See if you can point out to your son some new activities that are best enjoyed straight.
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