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I think it's sad that people will make parenting decisions out of fear of what a child's immature peers MIGHT say to their child. Children can be teased for anything at school. Anything at all. I was teased for not wearing name brand clothing. Should my parents have forgone essentials like food so that they could afford name brand clothing for me so that I would not have to worry about being teased by a group of immature spoiled brats? I don't think so.
Mothers who are still nursing their 5, 6 or 7 year olds are doing so because their child is not ready to give it up. They are very much considering their child's feelings.
You may feel that way now...however, when the child is older, he/she may not feel the same way you do...
My gosh, I've been in forums where the wives call they're husband's mama's boys, b/c she and the Mother in law do not get along, and the son cannot cut the apron strings, and the mother won't let him...
also, your priorities do change....as you grow older...and right now, your missing the point...
Because the child is not ready to give up breastfeeding and if I as the mom and still ok with continuing with breastfeeding then why would I give it up?
Why would I need to start pumping if breastfeeding is working for us? Breastfeeding, especially at that age, is about so much more then nutrition.
you said something that really went thru me...
Because the child is not ready to give up breastfeeding
who is the parent here?
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Breastfeeding, especially at that age, is about so much more then nutrition
Yes, I can agree with that....the person making the opinion has a right to feel however they want, just like it's yours to feel however you want. However, when people 'strive to change' something, I feel it is an act of imposition. You can't make people's attitudes/comfortability levels change. I say this somewhat hesitantly because of such an example that you used, racism. The point I was trying to make is that there needs to be rationality on both sides here.
Actually racism is a perfect example. Attitudes CAN and do change. It takes time. Striving for social justice is never bad. Do you think racists of old looked in the mirror and said "Gee, I am ignorant! What fun." Do I think that the judge mentioned earlier in this thread is ignorant? Yah. I really do.
It’s really warm. It’s like embracing your mother, like a hug. You feel comforted, nurtured and really, really loved. I had so much self-confidence as a child, and I know it’s from that. I never felt like she would ever leave me. I felt that security.
you said something that really went thru me...
Because the child is not ready to give up breastfeeding
who is the parent here?
Breastfeeding is a relationship between two people. If both people in that relationship are still comfortable with it then why should they stop? The child will stop when he or she no longer wants or needs it. If the mother wants it to stop before the child is ready, she will wean him.
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what is it about? Could you explain?
Comfort. Love. Bonding. Security.
Last edited by Dorthy; 05-11-2012 at 10:04 AM..
Reason: spelling errors
Actually racism is a perfect example. Attitudes CAN and do change. It takes time. Striving for social justice is never bad. Do you think racists of old looked in the mirror and said "Gee, I am ignorant! What fun." Do I think that the judge mentioned earlier in this thread is ignorant? Yah. I really do.
I agree with you and thought the same thing (race, politics, religion)...I'm not always right, and I try and ask questions to understand another train of thought...
It's a different world today and very hard for me to conform/change...You wouldn't have believed the world and small town when I was growing up. Honestly most of us never saw color, and there was no racisum...and we frowned upon it...then, and I do understand why, it started being pushed down our throats...that is when an issue becomes resentful...
We joked around a lot, laughed a lot together...I told a story once about my Jewish friends mother, who use to have us in stiches when we were camping...she'd cop this accent and go on to pretend like a comedian, and she'd have us all rolling on the floor. I was called a racist for sharing that story It all makes me so sad...we've become a world of others trying to push they're thoughts and feeling down our throats...and actually, that is what starts wars..the inability to allow others they're thoughts and feelings.
There is no right or wrong answer here, and also to a lot of issues...it's all in how we are raised...which is our very own culture...
I read parts of several parenting books. I can see taking some of it, rejecting some of it. That is more or less what I did.
As did I.
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It seems unnatural to force a parenting style on yourself, when it isn't what came naturally; and it seems unlikely that any one person would subscribe 100% to a single style they read in a book.
I agree. I think most people just do what feels right.
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It is kind of funny that something that is supposed to come naturally has turned into something we have to research; something we have to be told we're doing right; something that people are often told they are doing wrong; that we want to find other people who do it the same way we do.
I joined a moms' group when my first was born because at that point in my life, none of my friends had children and it was nice to have people to talk to and to give and receive support. These mothers started to judge me for things like breastfeeding and co-sleeping once my child reached a certain age so rather then feeling supported, I was feeling judged. At that point I sought out friends with a similar parenting style because having support sure does make parenting easier while feeling judged makes it that much harder.
BTW, I followed my instincts and that led me to AP parenting. I did not research it first and then decide that AP was for me. I read about it after I was already doing it because I found out that it had a name and I could research it to see if the people in my life who told me that I was doing harm to my child by nursing on demand, co-sleeping, picking up baby when she cried, etc. were right. Turns out they were not right and I'm thankful that that information was available to me because if it wasn't I may have ignored my instincts in favor of the advice of outsiders and that's not how I want to live my life. I want to be able to trust myself first. The only regrets I have in life are instances that I look back on and can remember ignoring my instincts. People have led me astray in life but my instincts have always been right on.
Ok, I guess my question is what's the difference between that and a kid sucking on his/her thumb well beyond the so-called acceptable age, or still using a bottle, or wanting to wear a diaper. These are all things that kids may not be ready to give up, but it's really not encouraged past a certain age. 5-7 years old are extreme examples of breastfeeding and I too find it rather odd.
Good question. Breast feeding for comfort has been compared to using a pacifier. It is generally looked down upon to allow a 4 or 5 year old to use a pacifier. Even if the child doesn't seem "ready" to give it up, parents usually encourage them to. Why would nursing be any different?
I don't really understand child lead weaning. Do you wait for the child to stop asking? What if they never do? Kids get into habits and routines that are often hard to break. Pacifiers, thumb sucking, drinking from a bottle - who breaks those habits? The parents do. We don't wait for the child to decide. If we did, we'd have 1st graders doing all of these things. Does anyone think that's a good idea? Why is the breast different?
Good question. Breast feeding for comfort has been compared to using a pacifier. It is generally looked down upon to allow a 4 or 5 year old to use a pacifier. Even if the child doesn't seem "ready" to give it up, parents usually encourage them to. Why would nursing be any different?
Breastfeeding for comfort after a certain age is generally looked down upon as is pacifier use after a certain age. I personally don't see anything wrong with either one. Some moms encourage their child to give up the pacifier, some moms encourage their child to give up the breast, some let them continue. It's really not that different.
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I don't really understand child lead weaning. Do you wait for the child to stop asking? What if they never do? Kids get into habits and routines that are often hard to break. Pacifiers, thumb sucking, drinking from a bottle - who breaks those habits? The parents do. We don't wait for the child to decide. If we did, we'd have 1st graders doing all of these things. Does anyone think that's a good idea? Why is the breast different?
Yes, you wait until they stop asking and trust that they eventually will. It is biologically normal for them to breastfeed and eventually wean. They will not continue indefinitely. It just doesn't happen. Children wean because they are biologically programmed to do so. Some earlier then others.
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It all makes me so sad...we've become a world of others trying to push they're thoughts and feeling down our throats...and actually, that is what starts wars..the inability to allow others they're thoughts and feelings. 