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My son wants a flat screen TV that's probably $300. (he's 14) I was thinking about getting my daughter a laptop $300. (she's 18) I have this argument with my hubby every year. He always thinks the tree should be full of gifts which can get very expensive. I say it's the thought that counts. I think those 2 gifts are more than sufficent. My DH wants to add to those with probably another $150 per kid. I just think it's way too much! He says, I didn't have it when I was younger, so I want to make sure my kids do. Well, I didn't have it either. The way work has been slow, I think that's enough. I know he means well, but he also has to budget. IMHO
Wow! I think this is way above the norm even if affordable. They come to expect a lot as time goes on. Just my opinion.
This year has been nuts. For the first time in my life, I started shopping really, really early, so that I wouldn't have to use credit. Well, I completely forgot about many of those items until after I had purchased more. Ugh. So, I don't know the numbers, but it's insanely high and I'll be holding some presents back. The kids are 3 and 1, so they don't need tons of loot and I don't want to set those expectations so soon. The books, especially, can be held back, because those are nice things to use as rewards/bribes. I guess I'm also in good shape for other kids' birthdays.
the kids get plenty of alone time.
and as for what they might get on cristmas?
lots of stuff!
books.
school suplies.
a sports item.
a new blanket.
a nat'l geo subscription (ok thats a family one, but the girl has first dibs on it).
they get enough through out the year that when this season comes around they dont really need or want anything. besides, i dont wait for cristmas to offer a nice token of appreciation to the kids.
but we do have presents. im no scrooge! and like i said, these gifts usually dont include these ridiculously expensive gadgets.
they get books and socks.
one year we did spulrge and get the older one a microscope. not a really expensive one, but still more than i thought was age appropriate. its his prized possession to this day, so it was worth it.
as for the video games, most are not very productive, particularly all the ones that kids play these days. if my kids want to see hookers, junkies and thugs i can walk them to the corner and stand there for 10 minutes. lets see how exciting that really is.
i need to keep the kids busy and safe. what better way than with books and sports? but like i said, if they want video games, thats what the arcade is for or their friends house.
anyhow. my purpose is to guide my kids through this life. all that other materialistic stuff dont matter. they are pretty well balanced.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pennquaker09
I want to preface this by saying I am not calling you a bad parent. I would never do that to anyone. Actually, I grew up as an only child and my parents cared more about their work than me, so they just bought me things as a replacement.
However, what do you get your kids? Do they have anything of their own? I understand the importance of sharing, but shouldn't they have things of their own? Sometimes it's great to go to your room and play something alone. It's great to be a family, but truthfully, it get's old. Everyone needs their own me time.
Also, I think it's highly unfair of you to call people that do like to buy their children things that are slightly expensive, "silly." Is it a good idea to buy the Wii, Playstation 3, and XBox 360? No, I don't think so, but I think it's perfectly acceptable to buy one. At $250, a Wii is not that much. And it's something the entire family could enjoy.
This year has been nuts. For the first time in my life, I started shopping really, really early, so that I wouldn't have to use credit. Well, I completely forgot about many of those items until after I had purchased more. Ugh. So, I don't know the numbers, but it's insanely high and I'll be holding some presents back. The kids are 3 and 1, so they don't need tons of loot and I don't want to set those expectations so soon. The books, especially, can be held back, because those are nice things to use as rewards/bribes. I guess I'm also in good shape for other kids' birthdays.
I did the same thing a few years back and there were gifts my kids didn't open a week later! We ended up storing them and then donating them. It was such a waste. So now I've gone to the other extreme and I haven't started shopping for my four children yet...
i usually buy them stacks of tokens to spend at the arcade down the street. its a lot better. gets them out of the way for a bit and gets them more active.
and if they want to play the latest video games, then they can do it at the kids house whose parents is silly enough to spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on those consoles and games.
Give them stacks of tokens to get them out of the way? I much rather have invested in a Wii for mine to be active where I'm around and know what she's doing. I welcome friends here. In fact, I want to know my dd's friends because it tells me alot about her. I can't find that out sending her off the the arcade.
Again, I'd much rather the video be at my house. I'm hardly a silly parent to own the games because we as a family enjoy playing together. I have no desire to shove my child off to someone else.
As far as what I spend, too much! I spend not only on her, but others too. I just plain love giving this time of year. I am also big on teaching the art of giving to my dd and helping those in need. Part of our Christmas means not only giving money, but our time to help the unfortunate.
the kids get plenty of alone time.
and as for what they might get on cristmas?
lots of stuff!
books.
school suplies.
a sports item.
a new blanket.
a nat'l geo subscription (ok thats a family one, but the girl has first dibs on it).
they get enough through out the year that when this season comes around they dont really need or want anything. besides, i dont wait for Christmas to offer a nice token of appreciation to the kids.
but we do have presents. im no scrooge! and like i said, these gifts usually dont include these ridiculously expensive gadgets.
they get books and socks.
one year we did splurge and get the older one a microscope. not a really expensive one, but still more than i thought was age appropriate. its his prized possession to this day, so it was worth it.
as for the video games, most are not very productive, particularly all the ones that kids play these days. if my kids want to see hookers, junkies and thugs i can walk them to the corner and stand there for 10 minutes. lets see how exciting that really is.
i need to keep the kids busy and safe. what better way than with books and sports? but like i said, if they want video games, thats what the arcade is for or their friends house.
anyhow. my purpose is to guide my kids through this life. all that other materialistic stuff dont matter. they are pretty well balanced.
Okay, well, I will be honest and say that I agree with you in that Christmas has become a very commercialized holiday and that is unfortunate.
And I say this as a teacher. I deeply, deeply value learning and meaningful activities. However, that pretty much sounds like a big snorefest. You mentioned you got your son a microscope? I was practically born with one. My dad is a doctor and I went on to major in chemistry. I LOVE, LOVE science, but sometimes, I think it's great to do absolutely nothing. Just spend a Saturday playing games and eating junk food. Jumping in the pool and coming back inside to do it all over again.
I can make the argument that video games are productive in some ways, but I don't think I would change your mind (not that I'm trying to). And as a parent I know I have the choice of what games to buy. The only game I have ever heard of with hookers and what not is Gran Turino . . . I don't know the exact name, something to do with cars, but I would never actually buy said game. Like, anything dealing with fantasy yes, with real like violence, no way. Then, again, I could very well buy the game and make sure I explain to my kids this is something that is it's own world. We don't go around ridiing in cars and shooting people. Thankfully, I don't have to worry about it because my kids are only 6 months old. Honestly, that's kind of an excuse because we have the choice of what games to buy. For every bad game, there are 5 more good ones.
And, when I played soccer, I broke my leg. There goes the keeping them safe theory.
And blankets and socks don't count as gifts! (I'm joking, but I mean come on socks? Unless they're like cashmere.)
im not against video games. or having fun. i take the kids to the arcade. i let them visit with friends who have game consoles. video games have their benefits, but id rather have the kids play at the arcade.
our local arcade is also a pizza place/poetry/band performance space. so i can go and let the kids play games while i do my own thing like read, listen to the latest teen band or knit.
why have the kids cooped up in a house sitting in front of a TV for hours? the arcade and its multitude of games serves us just fine. i dont NEED to spend money on consoles or the latest games.
its a pretty good set up. the kids are out of my way for a bit and they get to listen to music, hear awful teenage girl poetry, they play air hockey, and other arcade games. it works out.
its a ton of fun.
oh and when i refer to safety, i dont mean safety from sports injuries, but rather safety from urban ills. thugs, drugs, that kind of stuff.
its different negotiating childhood in urban areas. im very involved and i make sure to keep the kids busy with school or extra curricular activities. of course there is down time. sundays are lazy days. as are other random days. it works out really. when its hot we go to the pool at washington park. the kids get enough serious and goofy time.
so far i am pretty satisfied.
and luckily the kids dont complain. they love their socks. im glad to say they are not very materialistic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pennquaker09
Okay, well, I will be honest and say that I agree with you in that Christmas has become a very commercialized holiday and that is unfortunate.
And I say this as a teacher. I deeply, deeply value learning and meaningful activities. However, that pretty much sounds like a big snorefest. You mentioned you got your son a microscope? I was practically born with one. My dad is a doctor and I went on to major in chemistry. I LOVE, LOVE science, but sometimes, I think it's great to do absolutely nothing. Just spend a Saturday playing games and eating junk food. Jumping in the pool and coming back inside to do it all over again.
I can make the argument that video games are productive in some ways, but I don't think I would change your mind (not that I'm trying to). And as a parent I know I have the choice of what games to buy. The only game I have ever heard of with hookers and what not is Gran Turino . . . I don't know the exact name, something to do with cars, but I would never actually buy said game. Like, anything dealing with fantasy yes, with real like violence, no way. Then, again, I could very well buy the game and make sure I explain to my kids this is something that is it's own world. We don't go around ridiing in cars and shooting people. Thankfully, I don't have to worry about it because my kids are only 6 months old. Honestly, that's kind of an excuse because we have the choice of what games to buy. For every bad game, there are 5 more good ones.
And, when I played soccer, I broke my leg. There goes the keeping them safe theory.
And blankets and socks don't count as gifts! (I'm joking, but I mean come on socks? Unless they're like cashmere.)
I started off a couple of months ago saying we should probably tighten up this year on spending.
My wife completely ignored that advice.
Best guess.
$250-$300 on the 11 yr old
$150-$200 on the 4 yr old
$100-$150 on the 2 yr old
It's funny you shoudl say this - as my DH is the one who has told ME to tighten up. My problem? Two older kids - one married with a baby on the way and a step-son - they want a Wii -$250.00 plus.
My second, 19 and engaged - Wii games, the sports pack, and things from his wedding registry
My baby, 9 months old yesterday - so far he has three presents bought (small things), two on the way(also small and on clearance) , and two to be picked up today (sale at Target). I imagine when I am through with him, it will only be around $150.00 - probably still too much as he has no clue what this is all about. I did restrain myself from the things I really wanted him to have - the radio flyer bouncey horse and walk wagon. I regret not getting the wagon, but the bouncey horse will come next year. He'll be bigger.
It's just SO hard to scale back when you look at the cost of things. I am doing better and not allowing my little one to get off one the wrong foot of Christmas thinking - what Santa is bringing are things he will love - But the older two are driving me buggy!
We set a budget of $700.00 this year - TOTAL - DH and I are not exchanging gifts (the washing machine caught fire the other day and that shall be our Christmas), but splitting up the goods is tough! PLUS - with the grandbaby coming in Feb. , I am a little miffed about my son still being so selfish. He wants the most expensive stroller at the store -FROM MOM. That was going to be their gift with some personal things thrown in (stroller cheaper than Wii), then they announced the entire family gift. Smart thinking from their point of view - but paychecks do not come quickly enough to catch up for the stroller in Jan. (her shower).
If I did not do the bills and also have a heart of mush around Christmas, it would not be so bad, but I can see our household budget and look at the Christmas wants - it's tough.
Used to be I could go to Kohl's, hit the sales, spend less than $300.00 and have everything covered except the video games. Not anymore. And that only worked a few years - between Santa and their 'couple' lives.
Honestly, be proud of your wife. Sounds as though she has done much better than I! And honestly - even the baby toys are hard to get anything of quality for under $20.00. Sooo...I shall eat my words from an earlier post about loading up for little ones for next to nothing. I guess it depends on what that 'nothing' is!
Merry Christmas!
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