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Well, is this a small child or a preteen? If a small child, its called playing dress up and I wouldn't worry about it.
If its a preteen I would have two questions.
The first would be -- is this behavior new or has his interest in feminine clothing been consistent?
The second would be -- is he hiding this (stash of silkies in his closet) or is he openly wearing female clothes around the house?
I think what the OP is saying is that lots of men like to play dress up. Even from childhood they love the feel and touch of women's clothing. They dream of wearing something silky with lace on it.
You have to admit, it is so much more interesting being a woman. We get to live in this wonderful world of nice clothing and girly stuff. Some men want that, too. Thus, as wives, some of us find our husbands wearing our clothes when we are not around. This behavior can start as early as childhood.
so your husband cross dresses???
guess that is why you think children need sex changes.
so your husband cross dresses???
guess that is why you think children need sex changes.
I'm not married. I'm not sure you understood what I was saying. Some children are born transgendered. If you are truly interested in learning about it, the links to the 20/20 program included in my earlier post explain a lot. It is quite heartbreaking.
Like you, I used to be judgmental but then I met an adult who was transgendered, who turned out to be this incredible person. So I started to educate myself. I learned as much as I could about the issue, and it is just so sad what these people go through. So many end up killing themselves.
If I had a child, I would never want them to feel their only choice was to kill themselves. Anyhow, the 20/20 program explains it better than me. I hope you'll take the time to watch it.
My old boss' oldest daughter has done this for years. She's probably about 6-7 now. We had an office party where everyone brought their kids and spouses and people kept wondering who this little boy was because we couldn't figure out who had a boy that age. Turns out, it was boss' daughter, not a boy. But she dresses like a boy and has her hair cut like a boy and apparently wants people to think she's a boy. I was actually impressed that boss and his wife were so accommodating to her desires because they are a pretty religious family and I thought they would push gender roles more firmly. I think they are handling it just fine - they let her pick her clothes and her haircut and her activities and just go with it. I think it's great that they support her for who she is.
I would let the child pick what he wants to wear. I would certainly NOT start injecting him with hormones, especially before puberty. Good lord, what a terrible idea to change a child forever, before they're of an age to make an educated and studied decision to do that to themselves! Just accept them for who they are, let them express themselves how they like, and teach them to love the person they are, not the fantasy you think they want to be.
Just wondering how any of you have, or would, or should relate to a pre-pubescent boy who begins to exhibit cross-dressing. A little boy who likes to dress up in mommy's clothes, or has an unusual attration to tactile stimulation from women's clothing.
You said pre-pubescent, so I am assuming the child is under 10-ish.
I think too much emphasis is put on what is "boy" behavior and what is "girl" behavior. My son (4) has left the house wearing his sister's clothes, with hair clippies in his long curly hair and he always picks the color pink as his favorite. He also takes dance lessons, and his sister is a yellow belt in TKD-- our view is that if it is good for one sex, it is fine for the other. I know families that won't let their son have a kitchen set or dolls because they are for "girls". I think that that attitude is more harmful for children than to let them wear clothing designed for the opposite sex. I think our society needs to lighten up about trying to socialize our kids to think that everything is made for one gender or another.
If it is making the child happy and isn't hurting anyone, I don't really see the problem.
I think everyone is overreacting. My little sister dressed like a boy, played "boy" sports and had a fit that she had to wear a girls bathing suit instead of a boys.
She's still a tomboy and has worn a dress and makeup once...on her wedding day, but is married, has a baby and is very average in every other way.
I would let the child pick what he wants to wear. I would certainly NOT start injecting him with hormones, especially before puberty. Good lord, what a terrible idea to change a child forever, before they're of an age to make an educated and studied decision to do that to themselves! Just accept them for who they are, let them express themselves how they like, and teach them to love the person they are, not the fantasy you think they want to be.
Hi ZugZub,
For a child that is obviously transgender, puberty is a frightful time, because those hormones physically alter them in horrific ways. It's like a little girl, suddenly watching herself develop broad shoulders and a beard. That's why the parents of the transgendered kids in the 20/20 program (again, check my earlier post) opted to put their kids on hormones before puberty.
I think everyone is overreacting. My little sister dressed like a boy, played "boy" sports and had a fit that she had to wear a girls bathing suit instead of a boys.
She's still a tomboy and has worn a dress and makeup once...on her wedding day, but is married, has a baby and is very average in every other way.
It's much easier for girls who want to be a "tom boy" than a boy who decides he wants to wear skirts and makeup.
And transgendered kids are different than cross dressers and tom boys, or gays and lesbians for that matter.
For a child that is obviously transgender, puberty is a frightful time, because those hormones physically alter them in horrific ways. It's like a little girl, suddenly watching herself develop broad shoulders and a beard. That's why the parents of the transgendered kids in the 20/20 program (again, check my earlier post) opted to put their kids on hormones before puberty.
Woof
I saw the 20/20 episode you are referring to so I didn't watch the links.
I think that my issue with the idea of putting children on hormones before puberty is that what IF they change their minds? What if there is the slightest chance that at age 8, they can't fully make a decision like that? My cousin Jaime (female) insisted that she was a boy until she was like 12. She even refused to be called Jaime and insisted on being called James instead. Now she is a beautiful and happy young woman, who I think would have been HORRIFIED at this stage in her life if her parents had taken her seriously when she insisted that she was not a girl, but a boy and had taken irreversible measures.
I am no expert on the transgendered community, but there is NO way I would shoot my kid full of hormones to encourage a future sex change. If that is something they wanted as an adult (heaven help me!) it would be their choice to make!
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