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Attention, frustation, and confusion over learning how to properly handle feelings.
It's a day by day process with some days that are great & other days where you feel you've regressed several months.
It is a phase and a completely normal phase.
I ignore the temper tantrums now along with some other displays of anger. He gets the point. If he goes too far, he is put on a chair by me instead of in a corner or in time out. He cannot participate but rather sits there. He does not tell me when he is ready to get out of the chair (he tries ). I think this teaches him discipline & self-control.
Also, a good piece of advice I have been hearing is that not to use the words "bad boy"..in your case "bad girl" or words that attack their character. You have every right to address the situation but to use words that make the children take responsiblity for it rather than telling them they are "bad".
It's a phase of the next 300 or 400 she'll go through. Good luck.
And that is SO cool she is bi-lingual in Mandarin Chinese.
Attention, frustation, and confusion over learning how to properly handle feelings.
It's a day by day process with some days that are great & other days where you feel you've regressed several months.
It is a phase and a completely normal phase.
I ignore the temper tantrums now along with some other displays of anger. He gets the point. If he goes too far, he is put on a chair by me instead of in a corner or in time out. He cannot participate but rather sits there. He does not tell me when he is ready to get out of the chair (he tries ). I think this teaches him discipline & self-control.
Also, a good piece of advice I have been hearing is that not to use the words "bad boy"..in your case "bad girl" or words that attack their character. You have every right to address the situation but to use words that make the children take responsiblity for it rather than telling them they are "bad".
It's a phase of the next 300 or 400 she'll go through. Good luck.
And that is SO cool she is bi-lingual in Mandarin Chinese.
Thanks for the advice. I also noticed when I get my daughter to bed at the same time every night, she seems to have a better mood.
Time outs are for failure to comply, not for violent behavior IMO. And to be age appropriate, it's a minute per year of age, so anything beyond a 2-3 minute time out and you're probably just making her more mad, or you've lost the effect.
Physical acting out should be met with a real world response. If she hits you, you swat her on the butt. Nice hard swat to waker her up. If she's hitting an inanimate object, you restrain her. You sit her on your lap, and restrain her arms until she's willing to sit still and stop fighting you. You just talk gently to her, saying "as soon as you calm down, I will let you go". Basically, you make it HER choice of when she will regain her freedom.
We had my nephew doing this to his mom (single mom) at age 3, and I would sit him on my lap and do this. The first time he fought for about 30 minutes, until he was pretty worn out. But I just kept calm and in control. The second time, it was only about 10 minutes, and the third time he got onto my lap and about 30 seconds later gave up.
My thought is to be calm but consistent and in control. It shows them that (like society) you're not going to stand idly by while she acts out, nor can she hurt herself without your intervention, but that you will let her be in control of when the loss of freedom will end....she just has to comply.
But be warned....the first time you do the sit-on-my-lap bear hug, you're going to feel awful and want to let her go...but being a good parent means sucking it up and sticking with things that you have to do...(I have 4 of my own so I know how y'all feel!)
Just my friendly $.02...
Great advice. I agree kids should be taught early that hitting is NOT okay.
Then she will remember the smacks when she gets older and call child services to press charges on her parents.
Look....I'm not trying to derail this thread and turn it into a debate about spanking...suffice it to say that I'm talking about age appropriate legal spanking. You can disagree all you want...this is MY advice, yours is obviously different.
Let's take California law for example, since CA is one of the most "liberal" states in the country these days.
It is written RIGHT INTO THE WELFARE & INSTITUTIONS CODE that the statute that defines "inflicting corporal punishment" SPECIFICALLY:
"For purposes of this subdivision, "serious physical harm" does notinclude reasonable and age-appropriate spanking to the buttocks wherethere is no evidence of serious physical injury." WIC 300(a)
Point being, as a cop, we didn't view child abuse as someone spaking their child. Trust me whan I say there was a BIG difference between folks spanking their kids and the massive problems we dealt with from people abusing their kids.
My advice stands as is....and it's my view...FWIW...
Location: In my own little corner... sittin' in Jax FL
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Something to think about is the emotional/developmental age of the child and their corresponding brain development. About about 2.5 years in developmental stage, a child hits a period of disequalibrium. They have difficulty communicating, completely, their wants and needs. Some call this stage the "first adolescence"!
Typically your affectionate, loving, happy 2 year old turns the corner at the half-way point in that year. They become moody. Experience rigid extremes in emotions and, correspondingly, behavior. They resist their parents. They like rituals and sameness. And now they have better coordination and skills but, again, not the verbal acuity to allow them to express themselves fully.
Hang in there because just around the corner is an incredibly loving & sunny stage in the 3's!
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As for actions to curb this specific behavior, it varies with each child. For some children the restraining may work, for others it could be something less physical. My suggestion is to be confident (or at least display confidence) in whichever method you employ. Try each of the methods listed here as well as the ones you find in books or from other parents & caregivers that you trust.
#1 rule of parenting is consistency! Be firm and loving at the same. Children have an innate need to know they are loved and can trust their parents and caregivers to provide boundaries and security.
Look....I'm not trying to derail this thread and turn it into a debate about spanking...suffice it to say that I'm talking about age appropriate legal spanking. You can disagree all you want...this is MY advice, yours is obviously different.
Let's take California law for example, since CA is one of the most "liberal" states in the country these days.
It is written RIGHT INTO THE WELFARE & INSTITUTIONS CODE that the statute that defines "inflicting corporal punishment" SPECIFICALLY:
"For purposes of this subdivision, "serious physical harm" does notinclude reasonable and age-appropriate spanking to the buttocks wherethere is no evidence of serious physical injury." WIC 300(a)
Point being, as a cop, we didn't view child abuse as someone spaking their child. Trust me whan I say there was a BIG difference between folks spanking their kids and the massive problems we dealt with from people abusing their kids.
My advice stands as is....and it's my view...FWIW...
Yea, I agree about the Liberals. They always want to ban guns and beer. Make up 1 million laws for nothing.
I agree with the spanking. Kinda like an eye for an eye. After she hits, and you smack her.....ask her if she liked it. The point is: if she doesn't like it, she understands more that we don't like it.
My youngest son, now 8, but at 2-3 bit someone at daycare. Not knowing if it was just going to be a one-time thing, or turn into a routine like another child at the daycare....I took my son's arm and bit him. Not hard enough to leave teeth marks, but hard enough to hurt. As he was crying I asked him if he liked it, and of course he's saying no, no....then I told him that the other child didn't like it either.
That was the only time my 8 year old ever bit someone.
I agree with the spanking. Kinda like an eye for an eye. After she hits, and you smack her.....ask her if she liked it.
Uh, I don't think that's such a good idea.
That's what my mother did. When she thought I was hurting a sibling, she hit me several times across the body and face saying, "There, how do you like it? How does that feel? Doesn't feel too good, does it?"
I don't remember what happened between me and my sister, but I'll always remember my mother's temper. You never knew when to expect the worst.
Lots of things you can do with a kid. Hold their arms when they hit. Tell them, "Do not hit mommy!" or give them a time out. How you deal with a situation teaches a child how to handle anger.
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). I think this teaches him discipline & self-control.
