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Ok, so my oldest is a freshman. She is overall a good kid. Very atheletic, is on the high school soccer and swim team. Ok grades, lots of friends, popular etc.
She has a boyfriend, very innocent (so we thought), he is also an athelete, plays football and basketball. They really only see each other at school, she isn't allowed to "date" per se. He is also a freshman. I know his mom and he comes from a very good family.
Welllll, yesterday I randomly took her cell phone to read her text messages. I do this periodically, she knows her cell phone is fair game at any time. I give no warning, just walk up to her and say "cell phone check". We have occasionally had some issues with bad language, I don't tolerate it and she can lose her phone for it. I read her messages and find out that this boy has been pressuring her into sending "pictures" of herself to him. And yes, I mean those kind of pictures. He is offering to reciprocate with pictures of himself.
My husband and I immediately sat her down and talked to her about it. We explained why this would be a HUGE mistake and we even threatened to call his mother. My husband had my daughter send him a text message telling him that her dad had read her messages and that if he ever asked her anything like that again he would be talking with his mother. The boy apologized and said that it would never happen again.
I then found out from my daughter that lots of kids at school are engaging in this practice. They have no clue that these pictures end up all over the place. I can only hope that we got through to her about this. It is so scary having teenagers today. Technology is a parents worse nightmare!! And teenage boys are my worse nightmare!!! I have three daughters.
This hits very close to home. My 15 year old son has a long distance "girl friend" that he met at a church function a few months ago. His grades were sinking and he was becoming moody, grouchy and secretive. He was constantly on the computer. At his school, every student was issued a laptop with internet access and all their text books are on line. He "needed" the laptop for everything and I was having a very hard time monitoring what he was actually doing.
One day I grabbed took it from him without allowing any time to shut down, close programs...and after he went to bed found pictures from this girl and emails suggesting that he had reciprocated. We were horrified as the personal implications of such loose boundaries in a relationship are very worrisome, but were also frightened about the possible legal trouble that he could get himself into.
Given the very permissive electronic situation at his school, we made the decision that that was not the right school for our family and withdrew him. He now has no access to a digital camera and is back to using the family computer in the kitchen in very limited amounts with no privacy. We took away his cell phone as well.
You are right - this is a scary scary world for these kids. We can't bury our heads in the sand. I'm glad there are other parents out there watching for this type of behavior and taking action.
Wow, GL with this. I'm very glad that my daughter didn't even get her first cell until16 and then with no pic or text capabilty. That came at Christams after she turned 17... scary stuff. Now mine is 20 so I don't monitor these things anymore, but I always advise her to keep things private and that she should skew things to be more g rated(I'm almost sure that it's not) so that it doesn't come back to haunt her(future employers seeing things etc.).
I have had this same conversation with my son and daughter. The ramifications of sending something over the internet or cell that can be resent to any number of people is huge. Keep the lines of comunications open and keep talking about it until they are sick of hearing it. This is crazy stuff.
Yah, my sister was into this kind of thing in middle school. My parents caught her talking "dirty" back and forth with various guys via text messaging on her phone. She also got caught with inappropriate pictures on her myspace, and it turns out she was chatting with some pedophile she thought was a teenage boy on myspace too. And she was having sex and oral sex with boys from school. She's just NOW a freshman in high school, and seemingly doing much better - or maybe she's just hiding it better. ?? <sigh>
I would explaine to them that once that type of picture is out there, you can NOT EVER take it back.. Fast forward 10 to 15 years and it WILL come back to haunt them when they have matured, have met Mr. Right, have applied for that perfect job and these pictures come back to haunt them and disrupt their lives.
I am SO glad mine were grown before all this new modern stuff was out there.. They would have thought I was the meanest mother in the world. They would not have had a cell phone until THEY could get their own and only been on the computer in a common area of the house and been closely monitored. Yep, I am from the dark ages I guess.
I am SO glad mine were grown before all this new modern stuff was out there.. They would have thought I was the meanest mother in the world. They would not have had a cell phone until THEY could get their own and only been on the computer in a common area of the house and been closely monitored. Yep, I am from the dark ages I guess.
All of these rules seem appropriate to many parents, but there is this trend - especially among private schools - to embrace technology and arm every kid with a laptop with internet access. It can potentially lower a kid's threshold to make poor choices and seriously hinders parent's abilities to set limits. After our experience, I caution all parents to think twice about school programs such as this. I know that when my son is in college he will not have the limits that I have now set but hopefully he will be more mature by then and will make better choices on his own.
i have 2 daughtlers and though their not teenagers yet it scares me too in this day its more dangerous that you want to protect there is alot of sick people out there childern at any age dont understand how dangerous the internet is.
The thing is, we too send our kids to a school where they are required to have lap tops. This issue we have well under control. Our internet requires a password to log on to, the kids don't have it. We change it often and to go online they have to be at the kitchen table or in the family room.
I guess this phone thing is what has really sent me for a loop! I just feel so weary sometimes trying to stay on top of all the things that we need to protect our children from.
That cabin in the woods is sounding very nice about now!!!
The thing is, we too send our kids to a school where they are required to have lap tops. This issue we have well under control. Our internet requires a password to log on to, the kids don't have it. We change it often and to go online they have to be at the kitchen table or in the family room.
I guess this phone thing is what has really sent me for a loopI just feel s! o weary sometimes trying to stay on top of all the things that we need to protect our children from.
That cabin in the woods is sounding very nice about now!!!
your not alone on this issue alot of us parent feel weary trying to stay on top of things and it get frustering at times my daughtler last week kept going to the nurses office everyday saying her throat hurt the school nurse called saying she had atemp of 98 and her was bright red to come and get her that the school nurse thought she had strap throat so i get over there and get my daughtler in the car and acted like there is nothing wrong with her and she kept asking me what we were having for supper so any way im thinking my head that she dont act like she is sick and of course temp of 98 is the normal temp so i decide to take her to the doctors and of they said she didnt havew a temp and the doctor checked her throat and her thoat was fine that she wasnt sickso anyway i decided to teach my daughtler a little lesson i assked the docter for a doctors excuse and i had the doctor put down that she can right back to school on the same day and wrote she dosent have strap throat my daughtler wasnt happy about that at all got her right back over to school on the same day she lefted took her right to the princaple office and gave the doctors excuse note to her and princaple of corse asked why dont you like school she couldnt give an answer so she stayed the rest of the day at school and since then she hasnt been saying she dont feel good.i know this is long and i know this has nothing to do with the issue of internet and cell phones but i do know how kids can be sneaky.
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to come and get her that the school nurse thought she had strap throat so i get over there and get my daughtler in the car and acted like there is nothing wrong with her and she kept asking me what we were having for supper so any way im thinking my head that she dont act like she is sick and of course temp of 98 is the normal temp so i decide to take her to the doctors and of they said she didnt havew a temp and the doctor checked her throat and her thoat was fine that she wasnt sick
so anyway i decided to teach my daughtler a little lesson i assked the docter for a doctors excuse and i had the doctor put down that she can right back to school on the same day and wrote she dosent have strap throat 
my daughtler wasnt happy about that at all got her right back over to school on the same day she lefted took her right to the princaple office and gave the doctors excuse note to her and princaple of corse asked why dont you like school she couldnt give an answer so she stayed the rest of the day at school and since then she hasnt been saying she dont feel good.i know this is long and i know this has nothing to do with the issue of internet and cell phones but i do know how kids can be sneaky.
