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Seriously... if I were looking for sympathy you think I would search it out on HERE? I see you haven't been a member of CD very long.... LOL.... I was looking for parenting ADVICE.... there is a huge difference.... and not getting a cyber lucture either....again... huge difference....
Parenting advice??? Are you serious???? I think part of the problem here is you don't know what the problem is... your FRIENDS. All the parenting advice in the world isn't going to solve your problem with your FRIENDS.
Here's what it comes down to... you either spell out the rules to your friends, or just be quiet and take it, like the good friend you think you're supposed to be.
Hah! we had friends like this--and they were my husband's sister and her husband! I just announced to the kids, whenever they were driving me nuts, that "the rule in this house is ......" and followed them around like I was the parent for a few years of their visits. It made me irritated and I had chairs broken, etc (with never an apology from the pathetically inept parents) but eventually they learned that Auntie meant what she said and now they know better.
From one middle child to the other...I'm sending you a big cyber(((((hug)))))
It's always easy to solve a problem like this from the outside looking in.
We had a couple we were friends with that were 10 years younger than us so in turn our children with the exception of our youngest were all older than theirs.
Our parenting ideas were miles apart. Her's was like your friend's.
For the next time, try this...it helped with the terrors that these people bred.
You see the 2yo heading for the couch...tell the mother to catch her before the sofa gets dirty....or tell the mother to clean up the mess while you're washing the child's hands or vise versa.
Puddle on the floor??? Tell the mother that you'll go get the paper towels that SHE will need to clean it up.
Enlist the older children's help. There's nothing more powerful than peer pressure not matter what the age. It will help the other children too, they need to see that this is not an acceptable way to act.
Being critical of another's parenting style is a very touchy situation. Just be polite but firm with both child and parent especially in your own home.
The terror in question is now 16 and will still listen to me better than her own parents.
I don't agree that you should simply not serve cake to children in your home. Children should be expected to behave with a modicum of respect for your belongings, and this starts with the parents. I don't understand why people are attacking you for having the gall to serve cake and punch. Um, hello? It's normal to serve food in one's home, and to expect that it will be eaten where it's served.
That said, I've had to limit friendships with some families to outdoor events or meeting at their houses simply because I can't allow kids to run amok in my own house. My own children do not want to have their toys broken, and I dont want to have dirty handprints on my walls or have it sound as though I have a pack of wild buffalo running through my rooms while the mom looks as if nothing is wrong. If children can't behave, they are simply not invited over again.
It is hard when I get along with another mom very well but her kids are brats. I've had this situation come up several times in the past few years, unfortunately. I think it's a little-discussed phenomena of life as a mom. Some kids get better with age, but in my experience, others get worse... Good luck with your situation! I don't envy your position, but have gone through it myself.
From one middle child to the other...I'm sending you a big cyber(((((hug)))))
It's always easy to solve a problem like this from the outside looking in.
We had a couple we were friends with that were 10 years younger than us so in turn our children with the exception of our youngest were all older than theirs.
Our parenting ideas were miles apart. Her's was like your friend's.
For the next time, try this...it helped with the terrors that these people bred.
You see the 2yo heading for the couch...tell the mother to catch her before the sofa gets dirty....or tell the mother to clean up the mess while you're washing the child's hands or vise versa.
Puddle on the floor??? Tell the mother that you'll go get the paper towels that SHE will need to clean it up.
Enlist the older children's help. There's nothing more powerful than peer pressure not matter what the age. It will help the other children too, they need to see that this is not an acceptable way to act.
Being critical of another's parenting style is a very touchy situation. Just be polite but firm with both child and parent especially in your own home.
The terror in question is now 16 and will still listen to me better than her own parents.
Good luck in your decision.
That is very good advice!
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