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Isn't it scary every time they leave the house. U just don't know what they might get into or who may talk them into what. Were ur others easier?
There is a 8 year difference between this 15 year old daughter and my next daughter. From talking with others, it seems that this generation is different. I believe it. These kids today want everything the minute they want it and they don't think things through and don't see the consequences. My older daughter just didn't get into any trouble. My two older kids are sons. They did "things" but not at age 15...more at age 18!
You all made me feel better about my rough day with my 3-year-old and 20-month-old and terrified of what's to come in another decade. Maybe by then there will be a Teen Whisperer - I don't think Mary Poppins is showing up anytime soon.
You all made me feel better about my rough day with my 3-year-old and 20-month-old and terrified of what's to come in another decade. Maybe by then there will be a Teen Whisperer - I don't think Mary Poppins is showing up anytime soon.
I remember a coworker who had older kids telling me when mine were tots "Bigger kids, bigger problems" I hated hearing it at the time, but now I agree with her. There are certainly rewards in parenting teens, but they aren't as sweet and tender as the rewards you have as the parent of little ones. Enjoy...
There is a 8 year difference between this 15 year old daughter and my next daughter. From talking with others, it seems that this generation is different. I believe it. These kids today want everything the minute they want it and they don't think things through and don't see the consequences. My older daughter just didn't get into any trouble. My two older kids are sons. They did "things" but not at age 15...more at age 18!
Vicki
"Generation X" is also generation instant gratification. Hey u r reading my mail. I think the same thing about my teens and their friends. They just don't seem to grasp that what they do now can last forever. And have u noticed this seemingly universal attitude of ingratitude among both teens and preteens? I guess your right kids today are different.
You all made me feel better about my rough day with my 3-year-old and 20-month-old and terrified of what's to come in another decade. Maybe by then there will be a Teen Whisperer - I don't think Mary Poppins is showing up anytime soon.
Oh God bless u with those precious young ones. Time passes so fast. Enjoy every challenging moment b/c basically at this stage u can protect them from themselves. I hope too that there is a "Teen Whisperer" somewhere in the near future.
"Generation X" is also generation instant gratification. Hey u r reading my mail. I think the same thing about my teens and their friends. They just don't seem to grasp that what they do now can last forever. And have u noticed this seemingly universal attitude of ingratitude among both teens and preteens? I guess your right kids today are different.
I think this is very true. We have an only child - 15 year old son. Maybe that makes it easier for us because he has no older sibling to watch. Our son has always been a bit of a home body and he's very driven on what college he wants to go to because of the degree he wants to pursue, so he is very driven on his studies.
That being said, we have also done most things as a family and been very open about stupid things others do that can effect the rest of your life. Take your kid to rock concerts - he's seen the gene pool of stupidity and what not to do. Not that he won't do stupid things eventually - but hopefully he'll remember some of what he has seen.
He's also a bit money driven as we've told him that once he turns 16 and gets his license, he gets one tank of gas from us. After that, no money to get gas, no driving, get on the bus. So he was determined to get a job once he turned 15 - and he did. So at least on Sunday's he's busy and tired!
He's so shy that dating hasn't really come into the equation yet. So I'm sure all will change once that happens.
Yes, we have attitude problems for sure. I think sometimes we expect more than their brains can produce. I wish I could remember where I read about the teenage brain and how there are some things that it is just not capable of because they aren't developed enough yet. Explains a lot.
My 16 year old was a great kid, but that kid could argue to the point of distraction. Sometimes I would get my car keys and just leave the house for awhile to get away from it.
As bad as it was, however, my greatest "parenting" challenge came the day 2 policemen showed up on our doorstep to tell us our son had been killed in a freak accident along with 2 of his friends. What would I not give today to be back there arguing with him?
The one thing harder than raising a teen-ager has got to be NOT raising one. I'm not posting this to elicit sympathy, just to hopefully, help you put some of it in perspective. Too many times it's a cliche, but it's true that we don't know what we got till it's gone. (Please understand I'm NOT minimizing the struggles. Been there too.And some are worse than others.)
My 16 year old was a great kid, but that kid could argue to the point of distraction. Sometimes I would get my car keys and just leave the house for awhile to get away from it.
As bad as it was, however, my greatest "parenting" challenge came the day 2 policemen showed up on our doorstep to tell us our son had been killed in a freak accident along with 2 of his friends. What would I not give today to be back there arguing with him?
The one thing harder than raising a teen-ager has got to be NOT raising one. I'm not posting this to elicit sympathy, just to hopefully, help you put some of it in perspective. Too many times it's a cliche, but it's true that we don't know what we got till it's gone. (Please understand I'm NOT minimizing the struggles. Been there too.And some are worse than others.)
I am so, so sorry for your loss! I will remember your story because that is usually the worst issue I have with my son. Arguing about the most ridiculous things. My husband sometimes asks us, "Do the two of you hear yourselves?". Maybe the next time we start doing that I'll just stop and hug him which will totally catch him off guard and we'll probably start laughing.
Weird.
I have two boys and one girl - the oldest is 31, youngest (girl) is 25. When the oldest turned 14, he decided to draw back his fist at me. He was 5'9", I was 5'3" - and I said, "Oh, you want to be a grownup now?" and jumped him and pounded him with my fists. Then I called his dad, who took him outside and dared him to throw a punch at him. "You want to be the man of the family?" He decided that he did not. We have always had a strict rule - Dad is the DAD, Mom is the MOM - period. Size doesn't matter - they know, still, that if they got out of line, we would not hesitate to spank them - or go toe to toe with them.
Our middle and youngest said that they took notes on their brother's rebelliousness, and said, "OK, we can go this far - but no further!" and we had very little trouble out of them. If you lay down rules, they have to be reasonable rules, and the punishments for infractions must remain the same - or they start to think that they can run you. When my middle child (then 17) was brought home at 3 AM by a cop - he was out walking (teenage angst) and the town had a midnight curfew - I dressed him down right in front of the cop. (To this day the cop tells everyone - "I had to stay - I thought she was gonna pound him!") When that son was 22, he told me that he would never ever do anything to go to jail when he was a teen - because he knew that I would walk into the jail, say hi to everyone, laugh and talk - then go into his cell and beat the crap out of him no matter who was present! He couldn't bear that kind of humiliation!
The minute your children do not fear any punishment is the minute they try to run you. Until they reach the stage where they practice self-discipline, discipline must be established - and consistent.
All that said, as long as our kids followed the rules, we all had a good time - and they liked the positive, not the negative attention, so we would stay up on weekends and play cards or table games or chess, or later the Nintendo games, swim in the pool, go on crazy, spur-of-the-moment mini-vacations and camping trips, together. All of their friends hung out at our house, and they knew that they could talk to us about anything, get a reasonable and rational response, and have as much fun as they wanted - as long as they obeyed the rules too. We took in two nephews as fosters and raised them the same way... and today, the fosters, our own kids, and the neighborhood kids all still call us Mom and Dad, and call us, email us, write us, and share their triumphs and their tragedies with us, and ask our advice.
It is all about respect - respect for parents, respect for adults, and self-respect, and a consistent rule/reward/punishment table, without excuses and without fail.
Would I do it all over again? You bet. I enjoyed my teens far more than I enjoyed them as babies - right when they started to be able to talk and debate and think for themselves is when they became interesting and FUN! I liked watching them develop into cognizant and independent adults. Now when they make the right choices as a matter of course, it makes me so proud *snif*.
Even now I work at the local high school, and the kids are such a pleasure to be around! As long as we treat each other with respect, and follow the rules, I never have any problems with them.
If your teenage son is taller than you, you might try what my Dad did to me at about age 17 or so. He was dressing me down one day(well deserved), and at some point realized that he was looking up at me. He stopped talking for a second, looked me in the eye and said with utmost authority,
"Sit down!"
Which I immediately did and he continued with the arse chewing.
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Sometimes I would get my car keys and just leave the house for awhile to get away from it.
