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My son, at 25, tells me things now that amaze me. Every so often, he will tell me something he saw me do (as in - helping someone else) or something he heard me say to someone (who was going thru/ a tough time) and he tells me - Mom - I never forgot that!
The things he mentions - usually I do not even remember doing/saying! But like a sponge, he was taking it all in.
Sometimes, just saying "No, we don't do that . . . that is not the right thing to do" is enuff to start a child on a path of distinguishing what actions are actions of integrity . . . and what actions are those of a damaged character.
How you treat those around you, including the most humble people you encounter . . . how you act at home as opposed to how you act in public . . . what things you espouse when you think you child is not watching/listening . . . those are the things that will shape your child's value system.
There is no such thing as "situational ethics" when it come to raising a child . . . they will notice when you "talk the talk, but don't walk the walk."
All the indoctrination in the universe won't mean a thing . . . if your child sees you as a hypocrite . . . or if you undermine those lessons w/ your own behavior.
I think such lists become chores and can also become substitutes for walking the walk, so to speak. Easier to just "talk the talk" by going down a list and making sure everyone understands "the rules." A child will forget things on that list but seeing momma hit a car in the parking lot and driving off w/o telling anyone will teach your child something he/she will never forget about honesty - and character.
The hardest part is when your kids become old enough to see that living a life of good character will sometimes (often?) make life more difficult for them. It is not always easy to make the right choice, and it can cost you (at least at that moment).
It breaks my heart to see my kids struggle with these realizations.
Everybody seems to have great ideas/suggestions. My only reason for writing it on a chalkboard was as a reminder to myself and them that we're going to focus on that particular quality for a week or however long, not that I expect them to just read and follow what's written. It's so easy to get off track in our busy lives!
Everybody seems to have great ideas/suggestions. My only reason for writing it on a chalkboard was as a reminder to myself and them that we're going to focus on that particular quality for a week or however long, not that I expect them to just read and follow what's written. It's so easy to get off track in our busy lives!
I for one think this is a great idea! We all have habits that we could probably do without. Things we do without even thinking about it.
Printing this out would be a great reminder.
I remember my son and husband watching football one Sunday. Hubby gets creative on his taunts to the tv screen. Son, wanting to be like dad, repeated one of the more harsh words. Hubby went to punish son for saying such a thing and I had to stop him.
He realized that he was setting the example and changed his language.
I for one think this is a great idea! We all have habits that we could probably do without. Things we do without even thinking about it.
Printing this out would be a great reminder.
I remember my son and husband watching football one Sunday. Hubby gets creative on his taunts to the tv screen. Son, wanting to be like dad, repeated one of the more harsh words. Hubby went to punish son for saying such a thing and I had to stop him.
He realized that he was setting the example and changed his language.
My kids (twins) are only 8 mo., and I'm already "editing" my language/behavior - not that I was a cusser or anything, but as they become more aware of us, I find myself questioning whether some things need to be discussed in front of children. This also gives me time to apply the character qualities to myself where needed before the time comes to teach the kids. I'm looking at parenting as both a job, and a growing experience for myself.
My kids (twins) are only 8 mo., and I'm already "editing" my language/behavior - not that I was a cusser or anything, but as they become more aware of us, I find myself questioning whether some things need to be discussed in front of children. This also gives me time to apply the character qualities to myself where needed before the time comes to teach the kids. I'm looking at parenting as both a job, and a growing experience for myself.
Sounds like you are gonna be a terrific parent to those precious little ones! The fact that you even care about this - and want to lay a foundation - says it all!!!
Sounds like you are gonna be a terrific parent to those precious little ones! The fact that you even care about this - and want to lay a foundation - says it all!!!
Thanks! Becoming a parent at 40 is a plus for me - I'd have never thought about these things 20 years ago, so that's a plus in being an older parent. On the negative side, oh my aching back!
Thanks! Becoming a parent at 40 is a plus for me - I'd have never thought about these things 20 years ago, so that's a plus in being an older parent. On the negative side, oh my aching back!
HEE HEE - your aching back for sure! How blessed to have twins, tho!
I agree . . . we are so much better prepared to raise children at 40 . . . I think children really do benefit from that wisdom. But my oh my - it is harder on us physically!!!!
Your kids are lucky to have such a conscientious mom.
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