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When your young child has thrown a tantrum what did/do you do?
Do you walk away? Do you "cave?" Do you divert the child's attention elsewhere? And if so how?
I would like to share a what in my opinion is a great article in regards to tantrums. It's not a very popular mainstream approach, but i find that it makes sense and it worked with my son.
Mothering Magazine Article: Cry for Connection A Fresh Approach To Tantrums (http://www.mothering.com/articles/growing_child/toddlers/tantrums.html - broken link)
My son used to hold his breath until he passed out. Finally one day, I just walked out of the room when he started and lo and behold, he stopped. He then went to whacking his head on the floor. That one made me nervous and I freaked. His doctor assured me that he wouldn't do anything to hurt himself, but it was scary looking. We moved to a house with ceramic tile floors, he banged his head ONE time and that ended it. I guess the doctor was right!
The biggest trigger was when he was tired. He's now 11 and still gets grumpy when he's tired, although he has learned to just go to bed. LOL
This makes me laugh. The summer I was 14, I did some babysitting for my older cousin's children; 4 girls and their little baby boy (about 6 months old), all under 8 years old. The girls were pretty easy, but the baby boy was S P O I L E D R O T T E N. Cute as he was, he had 5 females answering his every noise.
I agree with beanandpumpkin, it's a lot to expect from a 14 year old, but to be honest, a 6 months old just CANNOT BE SPOILED ROTTEN. Just can't. Sorry.
I have a 2 and a 4 year old. Typically when the girls have a melt down it's because they are tired. I try to just keep their schedule consistent and don't take them anywhere if it's too close to nap time. If they DO have a melt down I just leave wherever we are and go home. If they have a tantrum at home I make them go to their room and I ignore them. The other day my youngest threw a fit in the park. It was 2:30PM and her nap time is at 2. I lost track of time and paid the price.
Not a tantrum as much as it is a way that the child is communicating with you due to lack of verbal skills at this age. Lots of reasons: overtired, overstimulated, hungry, thristy, scared, frustrated b/c they can't keep a grasp on a toy and so on.
Once your child starts to show regular verbal skills and is more dependent in choice, you will see a real tantrum. Or maybe not. Not all children express their frustration/anger/etc through tantrums.
As for those, either walk away or immediately stop. Dependent on situation.
Not a tantrum as much as it is a way that the child is communicating with you due to lack of verbal skills at this age. Lots of reasons: overtired, overstimulated, hungry, thristy, scared, frustrated b/c they can't keep a grasp on a toy and so on.
Once your child starts to show regular verbal skills and is more dependent in choice, you will see a real tantrum. Or maybe not. Not all children express their frustration/anger/etc through tantrums.
As for those, either walk away or immediately stop. Dependent on situation.
I am so confused. I don't know what to do when my daughter "freaks out!" My parents tell me one thing. I feel another. My husband supports me in whatever I do. Her doctor tells me one thing, the internet another.
I was thinking that it was a communication issue. I always make sure she is dry, fed, comforted, rested....But sometimes, and it has become a little more often lately, she wants up, I pick her up and she screams. Then I put her down and she screams louder while reaching for me. I pick her up and she pulls my hair. So a couple of times when it got bad, I took her to her crib (only confined "safe" place) and tried to let her "ride it out." It got so bad started to have trouble breathing! This went on for like 30 minutes! So I picked her up and she was fine and calmed down. But what was different from me picking her up in the beginning and after the tantrum?
I just don't want to do the wrong thing. I've had advice to pick her up AND to leave her cry. But neither is working. She also screams as high as Mariah can sing when she wants something and she DOES know some sign language. It's hit or miss when she uses it.
Just wondering what has worked for others. I can understand a person's/baby's discouragement when it comes to the inability to communicate his or her's needs. I just dont' want to do the wrong thing and start a pattern for doing so.
could she be teething? Also, you really should try to relax some. I know it is both frustrating because you don't know what is going on and irritating to listen to but honestly, as long as you've ruled out any life threatening illness or pain, nothing you do will be so wrong that you will ruin her for life. You will make mistakes as a parent. At some point you will have to come to terms with that. All you can do is the best you can at the moment. Every decision and action you take is not critical. Some are some aren't. It is more the pattern of your behavior in relation to hers over the course of time....You will be fine and so will she.
That is another thing. From what her doctor has said and the info I found on the AAP site not to mention my mother's advice it seems that when they teeth it is a short process. For example, pain/crankiness day 1 and 2. Tooth starts to appear day 3. Fussiness/pain continue until tooth is out and maybe a day or two after.
She got 5 teeth in three days last month.
She has been pretty cranky like this for about 2 weeks and no new teeth seem to be coming up.
could she be teething? Also, you really should try to relax some. I know it is both frustrating because you don't know what is going on and irritating to listen to but honestly, as long as you've ruled out any life threatening illness or pain, nothing you do will be so wrong that you will ruin her for life. You will make mistakes as a parent. At some point you will have to come to terms with that. All you can do is the best you can at the moment. Every decision and action you take is not critical. Some are some aren't. It is more the pattern of your behavior in relation to hers over the course of time....You will be fine and so will she.
Thank you
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