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Always amazes me how volatile this topic can be...
There is no right or wrong answer for everyone, it is up to each family to decide..
We have 3 girls, the older 2 are very athletic and are very heavily involved in soccer which basically makes us a soccer family.
The girls play classic soccer which involves practice 3 nights a week and games most weekends starting in late summer and ending late spring with usually 2 months off in the winter...when they play basketball..
Since practice schedules rarely coincide my wife or I usually spend most nights ferrying the girls to and from soccer practice and weekends are spent often at games....
My girls aren't "forced or coerced" they both live and breathe the sport, never complain about going to practice and love to compete. It is a tremendous outlet and they both have team mates they have been together with for years they count as their closest friends...
Its not a lifestyle for everyone but we make it work and we probably spend more time together as a family than most because of this schedule and travel together.
In addition to soccer and basketball they each play an instrument and take lessons once a week for that...
The youngest takes dance once a week and is just starting to play soccer, as we did with her sisters, we will let her decide if she wants to continue that path.
The older girls learn valuable time management skills, they do well in school and do homework as soon as they get home.
Since we have never allowed TV watching or video game use during the school week, its amazing how much can be accomplished between arrival home from school and bed time.
Neither my wife nor I feel that we are living vicariously through the kids, neither of us even played soccer but we were both athletic having played other sports in high school and college. I have no illusions of producing the next Mia Hamm but if my girls continue to love and improve in the game such that they have the opportunity to play in high school and perhaps college....more power to them.
As parents we are lucky enough to be in a position to be able to support our kids in achieving goals that we see as positive and healthy....
Since we have never allowed TV watching or video game use during the school week, its amazing how much can be accomplished between arrival home from school and bed time.
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This is so true! When you take out TV, you can really accomplish a lot.
Always amazes me how volatile this topic can be...
There is no right or wrong answer for everyone, it is up to each family to decide..
We have 3 girls, the older 2 are very athletic and are very heavily involved in soccer which basically makes us a soccer family.
The girls play classic soccer which involves practice 3 nights a week and games most weekends starting in late summer and ending late spring with usually 2 months off in the winter...when they play basketball..
Since practice schedules rarely coincide my wife or I usually spend most nights ferrying the girls to and from soccer practice and weekends are spent often at games....
My girls aren't "forced or coerced" they both live and breathe the sport, never complain about going to practice and love to compete. It is a tremendous outlet and they both have team mates they have been together with for years they count as their closest friends...
Its not a lifestyle for everyone but we make it work and we probably spend more time together as a family than most because of this schedule and travel together.
In addition to soccer and basketball they each play an instrument and take lessons once a week for that...
The youngest takes dance once a week and is just starting to play soccer, as we did with her sisters, we will let her decide if she wants to continue that path.
The older girls learn valuable time management skills, they do well in school and do homework as soon as they get home.
Since we have never allowed TV watching or video game use during the school week, its amazing how much can be accomplished between arrival home from school and bed time.
Neither my wife nor I feel that we are living vicariously through the kids, neither of us even played soccer but we were both athletic having played other sports in high school and college. I have no illusions of producing the next Mia Hamm but if my girls continue to love and improve in the game such that they have the opportunity to play in high school and perhaps college....more power to them.
As parents we are lucky enough to be in a position to be able to support our kids in achieving goals that we see as positive and healthy....
Very true. I have 4 kids. The oldest cannot handle activities well because he is terrible with time management and homework. And we work on it over and over. The second oldest, in 1st grade, is absolutely awesome with getting her work done. She could do activities every day of the week and still handle everything well. You tell her x, y and z need to be done and the time frame and she will be responsible for herself. The third falls somewhere in-between and the fourth is a baby, so we will see with him.
We have had to pull the oldest out of sports twice b/c of his inability to keep up with schoolwork (and its not an ability issue - its a motivation issue). He was warned; he was given organizational assistance.
I just wish the things we all enjoy doing were a little closer. We have decided swim lessons and possibly the oldest joining a swim team is something they want to do. Its 35 min away. As is martial arts (used to be closer but the branch of the school closed due to low enrollment out here in the boonies). Gymnastics (another activity they love) is 45 min away. And my husband is not always able to lend a hand, so coordinating schedules is hard. We take frequent breaks from these activities b/c of the time drain.
I think people who complain about sports and extra curriculars must not have been involved in them as a child or perhaps they resented an overly pushy parent who MADE them do something they didn't want to. I think it is totally up to the family and the CHILD. If the Child WANTS to do it and the child is HAPPY doing it... what is the problem? I don't understand why people are getting so upset about this. I have two very well adjusted children. One is in religion class, Brownies, and Karate. Tho other is in Karate and Dance.... I don't have an issue with this and they both keep begging me for more. I of course am not saying yes, but if they are begging for more they obviously don't have an issue with the load they have taken on. Why do the readers of this thread? I dont understand..... They should sit at home and play outside with rocks and bikes instead of learn discipline through Karate and dance? Or join their friends in Brownies and go on field trips to fun places and do volunteer activities? No, according to some they should play with rocks.... LOL.... Even though they are BEGGING me to do these things... I have a four year old who was signed up for bumper bowling a couple of months ago and had to choose between that and dance class and she is in tears because she wants to do BOTH.... Not only does MY schedule not allow it but my checkbook doesn't... I know her grandparents would pay for the bowling in a heartbeat, but my point is that THIS CHILD WANTS TO DO BOTH.... so badly she is in tears. And go to school... and play with her friends.... LOL.... and maybe dig through rocks on the side.... LOL....
I have 3 kids (5, 6, 7) and I have them doing one after school activity each. I let them choose their activity. And they can only do 1 at a time during the school year. Next year if my soon to be 8yo want to take on another activity during the school year, she's allowed to but if at any time I think it's either too much for her or the other member of this family we will not continue.
My reason for putting my children in an activity is that yes I would like them to be well rounded but above all they must have a desire for it.
5FLGirls - You have no need to defend yourself! My daughter is a competitive gymnast also, so I completely understand! I have not pushed her into any of this - she loves it! I admit, I had no idea it could turn into this when she wanted to get in gymnastics when she was 6! It does make for a crazy life, but as long as we can manage it we'll keep it up! I have told her many times that I am open to her trying something else, or nothing for that matter.
I was very shy and I am afraid my children are the same.
On the other hand parents fear that if they dont push the children to participate in classes they wont be succesful.
I think it's great when parents get their kids involved in activities as long as the family can afford the costs and it does not interfere with their academics. I don't want my kids sitting around watching tv or playing video games so I think it is far more productive for them to be involved in sports, bible club, chess club, etc.
When I was a kid my parents did not really get me involved in anything and I was extremely shy. I wish they would have pushed me because I also remember wanting to do things but not really having the confidence. My brothers played baseball and I was kind of jealous. Back then it was not standard to run your kids around everywhere I suppose. I did ask for piano lessons, horseback lessons, gymnastics but there was not a lot of interest on their part with getting me involved in those things.
I love that my kids are open minding and willing to try out new things. It doesn't matter if they are super stars. Learning to participate and not always be the best is just important if not more important than winning all the time. Activities build self esteem in my kids. They aren't afraid to do new things and don't seem as afraid of failure. I'm really happy we are able to give our kids a broad range of experiences in life and that I have the time to organize these things for them.
Did I say "I" too many times? It really is about my kids.
Parents shouldn't overload themselves. It's good for kids to get quality time at home - tv and electronic devices off, sitting and talking with the family or just playing simple games as a family. That's just as important as activities.
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! I have not pushed her into any of this - she loves it! I admit, I had no idea it could turn into this when she wanted to get in gymnastics when she was 6! It does make for a crazy life, but as long as we can manage it we'll keep it up! I have told her many times that I am open to her trying something else, or nothing for that matter.
