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Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,259 posts, read 24,758,986 times
Reputation: 3587
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charz
Studies have actually been done on the subject. Girls that starting dating at ages 13 or 14 were 80% more likely to be sexually active before the age of 16. I know some people will say it's ridiculous, but my children will not date until the age of 16. I'm a high school teacher and I have seen my share of pregnant 14 and 15 year olds. When I taught middle school years ago, our school had 3 pregnant girls (one was a 6th grader). My daughter may hate me for it, but I don't think that girls ages 11-15 have the emotional maturity to handle dating or the strength to say no to boys with raging hormones.
We all say "my children won't do this or that until..." but the fact is that, once a kid reaches a certain age, he or she is pretty much going to do what they want to do whether or not we approve. We did it when we were teenagers and my teenagers did it too. I never asked my folks if I would see a girl nor did she hers and if they did not approve, the gal would simply sneak around. The way you can tell a teenager is lying is to look and see if their lips are moving!
I did not try to sit any ages for mine. I did tell my daughter that, should she feel the need for "the pill" we would go and get it for her because I do not want anymore babies. She is in college now and had not asked for it or had a baby.
It took him 4 months to ask for sex?? He musta been a scared one! When I was in school in the 70s, usually you did sex by the 3rd date at the most. I did it on 1st or 2nd dates sometimes (if she was pretty and fairly respectable, you might have to wait a bit longer). Once I had my "steady", I did not have sex with anybody but her but we did it as often as we possibly could. Things are just like that when you are a teenager.
It took 4 months because I was his first girlfriend... and also I made no bones about letting him know that I wouldn't have sex until I was old enough to work. Apparently he thought I would change my mind.
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,259 posts, read 24,758,986 times
Reputation: 3587
Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00
It took 4 months because I was his first girlfriend... and also I made no bones about letting him know that I wouldn't have sex until I was old enough to work. Apparently he thought I would change my mind.
He probably thought that. When you are a teenager, no means maybe and maybe means yes!
To me, 16 seems old. I would probably be comfortable with it once the kid is in high school, so like 14. But I'd say watch the kid, not the clock. Every kid matures differently - there's no reason that having a birthday makes them suddenly more mature today than they were yesterday.
I guess it depends on what you are defining as "dating". If you mean the boy picks them up and they go out un-supervised then I would definitly stick to 16 or 17 for that.
I have a freshman daughter and she has had a boyfriend for about 6 months now. They frequently go out and do things, however it is either in a group setting where they are dropped off and picked up separately by parents or accompanied by either my husband or I. When they go to the movies my husband either sits next to my daughter on one side and her boyfriend on the other or right behind them. Fortunately for us, the boy's parents are just as strict as we are so they really can't get away with much.
On the other hand, we did have a "sexting" situation with this boy, luckily my daughter was smart enough to tell him he was crazy.
I guess I feel like it is better for them to learn how to communicate with the opposite sex in small doses rather than suddenly be granted the freedom to car date when they magically reach the age of 16.
I guess it depends on what you are defining as "dating". If you mean the boy picks them up and they go out un-supervised then I would definitly stick to 16 or 17 for that.
I have a freshman daughter and she has had a boyfriend for about 6 months now. They frequently go out and do things, however it is either in a group setting where they are dropped off and picked up separately by parents or accompanied by either my husband or I. When they go to the movies my husband either sits next to my daughter on one side and her boyfriend on the other or right behind them. Fortunately for us, the boy's parents are just as strict as we are so they really can't get away with much.
On the other hand, we did have a "sexting" situation with this boy, luckily my daughter was smart enough to tell him he was crazy.
I guess I feel like it is better for them to learn how to communicate with the opposite sex in small doses rather than suddenly be granted the freedom to car date when they magically reach the age of 16.
Depends upon the kid and their maturity. My twin dd & ds (14) have gone on occasional group dates for the past year, all involving having parents drop off/pick up. I really wouldn’t have objections over either of them going to an afternoon movie, ice skating or a similar activity (out for pizza, going to the local swim center, etc) with a boy/girl the same age (in a non-group setting), again being dropped off/picked up by parents, however neither are interested in non-group dating at this time.
My son has been asked out by older girls, and I won't allow it.
Keep them on a short leash until they are at least 16 or 17. I had a boyfriend when I was pretty young (13-14). I loved him to death (I thought)... my parents wouldn't let us date, but let him come over and spend time at our house. We'd watch TV, etc. My parents would go go bed and and soon as we thought it was safe we were all over each other! Where there's a will there's a way and believe me we found a way a lot. I regret it so much to this day (I'm old now). I wish I would never have had a serious boyfriend... I missed out on a lot of stuff and it skewed my outlook of men for a long time.
You can (and should) educate them, and you can (and should) set limits, but kids are going to do whatever the heck they want whenever they want. They decide for themselves. Unfortunately.
The earliest I let my oldest daughter date was 15, but it was group dating and not one on one. That didn't start happening until after she was 16 and even then she still went out on more group dates than single dates. Believe it or not that was more her choice than ours.
I would definately meet with any kid who was taking her out and get to know him a bit and I would let him know what was and wasn't appropriate while on a date and what time she had to be home by. She was not allowed to go on dates without us first meeting the young man. She didn't have her drivers licsense at 16 so she couldn't just take off and meet up with someone without us knowing and we always checked with any of her friend's parents and made sure that everything was on the up and up whenever she was invited to spend the night. Once she turned 17 and got her drivers liscense she was getting old enough for single dating, but we still wanted to meet the guy or know as much as we could about him before she could take off with the car.
I think 16 is getting old enough to start going out on dates. But really try and encourage group dates as much as possible.
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