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When my daughter was about a year old she would get crazy, really crazy for no reason (or so I thought) every once in a while. She whined, screamed, threw things around, wouldn't do anything I asked, all out of the blue, then settled down after a couple hours.
I was baffled for a while, until one afternoon I was making chocolate chip cookies (my specialty) and handed her three chocolate chips. About two minutes later she was having fits. Uncontrolable fits (no, not seizures, behavioral fits). They lasted two or three hours. I thought "hmmm". So I gave her a slight bit of chocolate again. Again she went crazy. Another time I allowed her a sip of Coke (We have never been a family to drink much soda, but I was curious.). Again she went crazy.
I determined my daughter had a hypersensitivity to caffeine. If she had a cookie or something that had the slightest bit of chocolate in it, WHAM, she'd go off the wall. We were careful after that, and she no longer had the uncontrolable behavior. Since then, she has outgrown it pretty much, but now has a dislike for chocolate.
Bottom line, If she had been school age, or attended day care or preschool, she would have been on the short list for some testing. Fortunately, as a parent, I was more aware than anybody of what she ate throughout the day and experimented with food instead of drugs and found the key to my child's behavior.
I think not enough people take that time.
In addition: Teachers ARE NOT DOCTORS. They are NOT in the position to suggest drugs for ANYBODY, much less someone else's child.
I started to delete my reply to this thread.... considering I became majorly upset while I was writing it. I decided to leave it as I wrote it simply because I had to express what I was thinking. I hope you can make sense out of it.
This was the picture of my oldest when we first started having meetings on the request of the teacher. I argued, fought, asked for her to be changed to a different class, for about 6 months. One of the teachers at her school was MY third grade teacher. She had my daughter for 2 days in her classroom. As someone I trusted (I have known her FOREVER) I valued her opinion. She told me, Dealing with A is just like dealing with you when you were in third grade. YOU needed to be helped. Did you ever wonder why you had such a hard time in school??? Well no...I didn't. I thought it was just me being stupid. She told me, she wasn't going to let me do to my daughter what my mother did to me. She told me to get her tested..or she would report me for medical neglect. She told mama that I needed to be tested when I was that age.. and my mom did just what the rest of you are doing. NOT MY CHILD. There is nothing wrong with them it is THE TEACHER OR THE SYSTEM. Well apparently there was something wrong with ME and my mom never would accept it. I COULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING. I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING WITH MY LIFE. I have always been able to read well and majorly above my grade level, but I couldn't do math to save my life. I couldn't concentrate on it for long enough to finish the paper. By the time I got out of high school and to college my self esteem was SO LOW that I didn't even try to do much. I had the opportunity, the intelligence, all that. I had lost my self esteem way way before that though. She was well on her way to losing hers also. Who wants to be looked down on by all the other kids because you can't shut up in class? You can't keep your stuff on the desk? Your brain is so busy you can't finish the assignment and the teacher and everyone else in the class is sitting there LOOKING at you.. cause you are the last one to finish and you are holding up the WHOLE CLASS?????
It was that way my whole life. IT SUCKS!!!!!
I decided right then... I would find out what was wrong with her, if anything. So we got tested. The lady that did her testing looked at me and started asking me questions. She said...you need to get tested too.
So I did, but I already knew cause Marty had told me. She has been a teacher for 35 years. She has seen and dealt with all sorts of children.
My daughter still has social problems with the kids at school that started during this period in her life. I blame myself terribly for not seeing it earlier. Maybe she wouldn't have it so hard. I have worked with her having organizers, notebooks with every trick I can think of to help her keep organized.
We tried counseling for a year. The counselor wouldn't move the time/day around so it was always at PM on Thursday. Well in Public School we always had the same class/subject that time/day. She was failing language because she always missed it for her appts. Sure she got to make it up but if you miss the class every week it is real hard to figure it out.
My younger one has NO social problems with the other kids mainly because she started the meds early, before she started showing MAJOR problems in her classroom. When I realized she was having the issues starting at school, we just put her on the meds. Simple answer? I guess so. If you want to call it that. I don't consider either of my children's medication a simple answer. I know what the side effects are. I also know what the side effects are without them. I know what it is like to have the medication withheld and I will not put either of my daughters through that much hell.
Thank you for all of your understanding throughout my mental breakdown here. The only thing I can tell you all is before you point fingers and tell yourself so sanctimoniously how good you are because you "don't medicate your children into docility" maybe you should consider that they do have a real problem.
Beautiful post! Your daughters are lucky to have you for their mom!
the decision to NOT use pharmaceuticals does not mean that NOTHING is done. It does NOT mean that it is ignored. What it does mean is that OTHER avenues are attempted FIRST. This isn't a case of parents either burying their heads in the sand pretended there is no issue or parents medicating their kids into comas. Parents who are against going to pharmaceuticals as the first option are simply parents who choose to explore every other option available to them first. 95% of the alternatives to pharmaceuticals do not have the negative long term side effects that meds have. The first tenet of health care is "First do no harm". What that means is that people need to explore the "simple" solutions before heading out the door to get their RX filled. Many parents find that a combination of non-pharmaceutical approaches will give you a better outcome than meds. If no non-pharmaceutical approaches are used, then of course that's no good but don't be mistaken in thinking that because parents choose to explore all non-pharmarceutical options that they just don't "get" what goes on with kids with ADD/ADHD/ASD. They do, they get it because they live it too. It's no fun to watch your child be out of control, and I don't mean out of a teacher's control but out of their own control. They miss out because of it. That's not good. This isn't about teachers either, I think everyone realizes that there are good and not so good teachers. I think everyone realizes that the school system is not set up to really teach individuals. That's not the fault of the teachers. They do the best with what they have. What is the fault of the teachers is to bully with threats of reporting if pharmaceuticals aren't taken. That is simply inexcusable.
Some people medicate their kids because they don't know or don't trust the scientific evidence that there are effective alternatives. Some people medicate their kids because they don't think that they can afford, in terms of cost or time, the proven alternative methods for coping with ADD/ADHD/ASD. Some people just really honestly believe in better living through chemistry.
and some people don't.
Some people know that that making the choice to medicate their children reduces their career options as well as their chances of getting affordable insurance as adults. They choose to exhaust the alternatives first and many find success doing so.
There really is no need to demonize anyone about this, or to take offense at viewpoints that differ from your own.
The original poster asked if any kids were on medication. My son will be 7 in June and is in the first grade. He has had issues since preschool, well earlier even looking back. He has always been active and rambuctious but I kept hoping he would grow out of it. When he entered K he got in trouble alot and the worse part is that he would hit when he got out of control so he got out of school suspension several times. Well when this was all going in and I realized that he wasn't just going to grow out of it I scheduled a pediatrian appt. Noone pushed me . The school was great and I asked the GC for a therapist recommendation. Thankfully my pediatrician and his counselor are on the same page as me. We all believe that medication is overused but that doesn't mean there isn't a legit need for many kids. All meds have the potential for side effects. A friends son just had a seizure from amoxicillan, rare but it is a possble side effect.
For the moment we are not using meds. My sons case is not so clear cut though. There is still a chance that it is just maturity but if it was a clear cut case I wouldn't hesitate to use meds if I was absolutely sure. I do think that diet and discipline needs to be looked at first. I did try the feingold diet and it helped but it wasn't a miracle worker. He didn't turn into a normal child so we just limit artificial ingrediants, candy/sugar, soda, and nonwhole foods to rare special occassions. One thing I've also been doing this last month is add fish oil to his food almost everyday. I still don't expect miracles but I did read about a link to ADHD and a lack of omega 3s which most kids don't get enough of so thought it worth a try. Whether it is related but Feb was one of his worst mnths of 1st grade and March was his best.
I wonder if anyone ever went to a doctor for behaviorial issues and was told that their child does NOT have ADD or ADHD and offered perscriptions?
We alswyas declined (with one exception) and our kids worked out ok anyway. All too often we see these drugs being used as a substitute for parenting effort. Some kids are difficult and you need to work harder. THe number of kids on ADD meds and antidepressants is frightening.
We had one child who was on some of those zombie meds for a while. She was misdiagnosed. We took her off them after about two weeks. Later we got a valid diagnosis and she was given a med that is normally for people with epilepsy. It worked well for her issues, but we weaned her off them as soon as practical. Not she does fine using anger control techniques, counseling and relaxation excercises.
All too often we see these drugs being used as a substitute for parenting effort.
Is it possible that we simply have no idea when children on medication are doing fine? When they are acting like a normal kid with involved parents? Perhaps we see only the negative stereotypes but not the positive outcomes because they are invisible.
Is it possible that we simply have no idea when children on medication are doing fine? When they are acting like a normal kid with involved parents? Perhaps we see only the negative stereotypes but not the positive outcomes because they are invisible.
Yes. there are certianly some instances where the meds work wonders. But it appears that around 50% of the kids out there are on some form of meds and 90% of those do not really need them. They did not have kids on these medications 30 years ago and almost everyone came out fine.
We have seen a lot of kids who get put on meds before and after and most are just somewhat difficult or enven just very active children. They offered to prescribe meds for almost all of our children. With the exception of one for a short time, we always said no and they are all turning out great. There are better ways to teach kids to cope with problems. It they do not learn to cope with their problems as kids, they are going to be stuck taking medications all their lives and some of the medications can be dangerous. All have detrimental side effects.
My belief is very unpopular right now and many people get very defensive becuase having your kids on meds is the IN thing at present. I think that a lot of that is simply execellent marketing by the drug manufacturers.
But it appears that around 50% of the kids out there are on some form of meds and 90% of those do not really need them. They did not have kids on these medications 30 years ago and almost everyone came out fine.
It's really not logical to compare 30 years ago with today. It is a different world. Our food is different on a fundamental level. There are twice as many people in the world today as then. There are chemicals in use now that weren't in use then. The world is different to the extent that making a comparison between generations bears absolutely no validity. at all.
One thing I've also been doing this last month is add fish oil to his food almost everyday. I still don't expect miracles but I did read about a link to ADHD and a lack of omega 3s which most kids don't get enough of so thought it worth a try. Whether it is related but Feb was one of his worst mnths of 1st grade and March was his best.
jenn,
We use fish oil here too. It's absolutely wonderful. I'm glad to hear that you have found something that looks like it might work for your son
Yes. there are certianly some instances where the meds work wonders. But it appears that around 50% of the kids out there are on some form of meds and 90% of those do not really need them. They did not have kids on these medications 30 years ago and almost everyone came out fine.
We have seen a lot of kids who get put on meds before and after and most are just somewhat difficult or enven just very active children. They offered to prescribe meds for almost all of our children. With the exception of one for a short time, we always said no and they are all turning out great. There are better ways to teach kids to cope with problems. It they do not learn to cope with their problems as kids, they are going to be stuck taking medications all their lives and some of the medications can be dangerous. All have detrimental side effects.
My belief is very unpopular right now and many people get very defensive becuase having your kids on meds is the IN thing at present. I think that a lot of that is simply execellent marketing by the drug manufacturers.
On the contrary, I think your belief is very popular right now. A very common, usually very vocalized opinion is that medication is unnecessary poison used by inattentive parents, and that we all ended up fine with out. A lot of parents, including me, don't like to talk about our experiences very much because of the reaction we get.
I understand that your personal experiences shape your views. Of course mine do as well. My cousin was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, and she is not at all fine. My parents and grandparents have always criticized her parents for their lack of parenting and taking the easy way out, and I grew up with quite a prejudice against meds and the diagnosis in general. When I finally told my grandparents about my son, my grandmother's initial reaction was negative. She repeated, just as she always told me, that she was sure that her son, my cousin's father, had ADHD as a child and still does. He didn't need meds, she told me. (And my grandparents' parenting is the polar opposite of my uncle's. Discpline, stay-at-home mom, all that.) I asked her, "Do you really think Uncle S turned out fine? Do you really think he was OK in school?" He was NOT okay. My uncle had an awful time in school, was constantly in trouble, dropped out of high school literally days before he graduated, was on drugs for a long time (meth, of course, because it made him feel normal), has spent time in jail, and has generally been a mess for a long, LONG time. This was despite all my grandparents' love, attention and effort to try to help him. So, Grandma, do you really think Uncle made it?
She was quiet for a long time. "No," she said. "You're right."
The reason people get defensive is because we're tired of the insinuation that we're lazy, neglectful, uninvolved parents who want their children to be zombies and robots. Whenever ADD or ADHD in kids is mentioned, there is a standard response about overdiagnosis and how somebody knows some energetic kids who turned out fine, and didn't we all have a little trouble in school, and they mostly just need to run around and get some extra discipline at home. I know the rant inside and out. I used to give it, too.
I spoke to my mother last weekend about how much better my son is doing, and she was so happy she cried.
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