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I would just say how you did breast feed and liked it and then MOVE on. Do not try to convince her to do it, how great it is, or how she HAS to do it.
This is a personal decision. No one mother is right or wrong. I am truly sad to see how many arguments people have about this on City Data. Can't people just live and let live?
Do people seriously think that you have to wash your nipples before breastfeeding your baby? LOL! It's not as though you're using your breasts to wipe after going potty... and you are not supposed to even wash them with soap while you are nursing... just rinse with water in the shower. Once per day. Not before every feeding! You have Montgomery glands on your areola in order to encourage your baby's nursing instincts along... you don't want to wash those oils off.
(Though if you have thrush, you should wipe them with a damp cloth *after* feeding in order to remove milk residue, as yeast can thrive on breastmilk left on the skin.)
Do people seriously think that you have to wash your nipples before breastfeeding your baby? LOL! It's not as though you're using your breasts to wipe after going potty... and you are not supposed to even wash them with soap while you are nursing... just rinse with water in the shower. Once per day. Not before every feeding! You have Montgomery glands on your areola in order to encourage your baby's nursing instincts along... you don't want to wash those oils off.
(Though if you have thrush, you should wipe them with a damp cloth *after* feeding in order to remove milk residue, as yeast can thrive on breastmilk left on the skin.)
Ah, finally a voice of reason and sanity! I tried to comment earlier but the thread was closed!
Today we were together with some mutual friends and someone brought up the subject of breastfeeding. My friend said that it had never appealed to her and she had no plans to breast feed her baby. She bottle fed her first child and said since he ended up just fine she didn't intend to try with number 2.
I breast fed both my children because I had read about the health benefits to babies and mothers. I found it to be an incredible bonding experience. Both my children were very healthy---neither ever had an ear infection---and I believe this could be connected to the antibodies provided during breastfeeding.
Anyway, I'd love for my friend to experience the positive aspects of breastfeeding. Would it be inappropriate for me to bring the subject up again and encourage her to try it? Or would this be too pushy? She's a great mom to her first child and I don't want her to think I'm questioning her parenting skills.
YOUR experiences with YOUR children in YOUR life.
HER experieces with HER child in HER life.
She said it didn't appeal to her & she had no plans to breastfeed.
Do people seriously think that you have to wash your nipples before breastfeeding your baby? LOL! It's not as though you're using your breasts to wipe after going potty... and you are not supposed to even wash them with soap while you are nursing... just rinse with water in the shower. Once per day. Not before every feeding! You have Montgomery glands on your areola in order to encourage your baby's nursing instincts along... you don't want to wash those oils off.
(Though if you have thrush, you should wipe them with a damp cloth *after* feeding in order to remove milk residue, as yeast can thrive on breastmilk left on the skin.)
I agree. A voice of reason. I could see however how someone would think that you ARE supposed to clean them. But it isn't true.
I had a long reply typed up before and then I saw the thread was closed.
Here is a summary. I grew up in a society where breastfeeding was the normal thing to do. I remember being a kid and seeing women take their boobs out to feed without any embarrassment. They never covered themselves. The first time I ever heard of women choosing not to breastfeed I was in the US in college. I was all for breastfeeding. When my dd was born I didn't breastfeed because she ended up in the NICU and I couldn't imagine pumping. It seemed so unnatural. Somewhere along my dd 1st year I became aware of activist moms. They claim to want to promote breastfeeding but in reality they just want to say they are better than you because you bottle feed. Because of this activist moms I have become somewhat anti breastfeeding. Not because of the act of breastfeeding but because of the activism.
I had a long reply typed up before and then I saw the thread was closed.
Here is a summary. I grew up in a society where breastfeeding was the normal thing to do. I remember being a kid and seeing women take their boobs out to feed without any embarrassment. They never covered themselves. The first time I ever heard of women choosing not to breastfeed I was in the US in college. I was all for breastfeeding. When my dd was born I didn't breastfeed because she ended up in the NICU and I couldn't imagine pumping. It seemed so unnatural. Somewhere along my dd 1st year I became aware of activist moms. They claim to want to promote breastfeeding but in reality they just want to say they are better than you because you bottle feed. Because of this activist moms I have become somewhat anti breastfeeding. Not because of the act of breastfeeding but because of the activism.
Ok. So I'm on the phone right now with the friend I referred to earlier. She is about to have twins but she has a 6yr old whom she didn't breastfeed. I have been encouraging her to try it during the whole pregnancy. At the beginning she was dead set on not trying. Keep in mind she is college educated and researched it all. The reason she didn't want to has nothing to do with that however. The reason was she had a bad infection and the she was afraid the baby wasn't getting enough. She quit after 13 days.
Like I said, she was dead set on not trying it with the twins AT ALL. I have shared with her over and over again my experience. I have told her that she is not alone in the pain and the fright that the baby is not getting enough. She still faught me on it saying, "Sarah (fake name, but I like it) I know you say these wonderful things but it just isn't for me." I have tried to use the example that no matter what YOUR baby DOES want want you to nurse hime and/or her. Whether you are scared he/she isn't getting enough or you have pain or whatever the reason, THE BABY WANTS IT!!!
She has since decided to give it a try as long as she has support. She knows she might give up easy and has asked me to help her out. She agrees that while I can be pushy she knows I have the best intentions. She also agrees that her reasons for not wanting to BF were in fact a bit selfish.
I agree with some posters that what a mother needs is support. I am a firm believer that women give up or don't want to try because they have failed in the past. Nurses and doctors don't tell them that it IS a process and while the WANT/INSTINCT (on the baby's part) comes very naturally the SKILL on both the mom's AND the baby's do not even half of the time.
I will continue to support any and all of any of my friends FINAL decisions but when it comes to the important issues (does't have to be life or death) I will continue to try to help them make the best choice for them and their baby's health until it IS FINAL
Do people seriously think that you have to wash your nipples before breastfeeding your baby? LOL! It's not as though you're using your breasts to wipe after going potty... and you are not supposed to even wash them with soap while you are nursing... just rinse with water in the shower. Once per day. Not before every feeding! You have Montgomery glands on your areola in order to encourage your baby's nursing instincts along... you don't want to wash those oils off.
(Though if you have thrush, you should wipe them with a damp cloth *after* feeding in order to remove milk residue, as yeast can thrive on breastmilk left on the skin.)
Yah, people have some weird statements on this thread that I've never heard before, and they say them with such an air of authority even! I happened to have LLL tonight, so I asked at the meeting if I had been missing this whole washing your nipples between feedings thing for the last 3 years. I was assured, with some giggling, that you do not need to wash your nipples between feedings, and in fact it is discouraged to do so. Your Montgomery glands secrete self-cleansing oils. So, wash your hands frequently - yes. Your nipples - no.
I agree with the statistics but the point is that bottle feeding is legal and for a variety of reasons people choose to bottle feed. I wonder how pushy someone may become because they are concerned about children. Well, that is great but in the end they are the parents and if they know of that option and chose not to, I do not agree in being pushy about it.
Smoking can be dangerous to children and yet many parents do smoke around them. I believe it is sad to do so but we can only go so far on issue like this. I do not agree to being pushy and tell them they need to stop smoking with their children around.
You have a great day.
El Amigo
I am not trying to advocate being "pushy", just in feeling free to have a conversation about it with your close friend. With the statistics on the childhood deaths due to not being breastfed, I was responding to the comment from ZugZub "Other than obvious cases of allergies to formula contents, or contaminants that aren't supposed to be in them, show me a scientifically documented case of a child who has been proven to be less smart, shorter, weaker, sicker, slower, etc specifically due to being bottle fed." I'm sorry that wasn't clear - I should have quoted it.
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