don't raise your kids strict (babies, weight, spank, support)

[socrates]

Teen wildness is directly proportional to parent strictness. All the wild people I know had very strict childhoods and as soon as they could get behind their parents back they let er rip. Then, once they became young adults they really got loose. I'm not saying they end up failures but they will definitely end up rebellious.

Be loose, allow your kids to be comfortable coming up and your relationship with them will stay good, gain trust and they will value your opinion through life but if you are strict they are likely to do exactly the opposite of what you would hope.

[zaicheg]

Originally Posted by socrates

Teen wildness is directly proportional to parent strictness. All the wild people I know had very strict childhoods and as soon as they could get behind their parents back they let er rip. Then, once they became young adults they really got loose. I'm not saying they end up failures but they will definitely end up rebellious.

Be loose, allow your kids to be comfortable coming up and your relationship with them will stay good, gain trust and they will value your opinion through life but if you are strict they are likely to do exactly the opposite of what you would hope.

well, nice general advice... Any specifics, on spank-by-spank and groundtime-by-groundtime basis? Parenting is hard-contact sport it ain' no chess, you know

[stormy night]

I agree. I've known many preacher's kids having babies and racing cars behind mom and dad's backs. I've known kids who grew up over-managed only to not understand how the world works and unable to navigate life on their own.

People aren't doing their kids any favors by being on top of them every minute and not allowing them to make any decisions on their own, and learning from their mistakes before it's too late.

[zaicheg]

Originally Posted by stormy night

I've known kids who grew up over-managed only to not understand how the world works and unable to navigate life on their own.

People aren't doing their kids any favors by being on top of them every minute and not allowing them to make any decisions on their own, and learning from their mistakes before it's too late.

if it does not cause any lasting damage to him or to the family, let him do it. Let him learn.

read this:

How did we survive? | The Alaska Standard

[afoigrokerkok]

It's all about balance. It is important to be neither too strict nor too permissive.

[dsh1127]

I have seen this scenario many times. Not saying this is the case all the time, but I have known a ton of those kids that were raised very strict (to the point of uptight) to turn into about the wildest 19 year olds you would ever meet!

When I was a kid, my parents had these friends that had a daughter a year younger than me. They were the "perfect family" with the "private school princess" for a daughter, and I was the "public school girl" that could never stack up to their "goodness", and they made it well known!

Let me put it this way - - - This girl put my partying days to shame!!

Strict is good, as far as needing to know where they are and who they are with and making them be accountable for their actions, etc., but take it too far (like I said before "uptight" describes it best) and watch out!!

[cherry251]

Well, I think there is a difference between being strict and being needlessly strict.

Some parents really coddle their children until later years and don't let them do anything of their own free will. That is when I think kids turn wild and attempt to break free.

[jimboburnsy]

Originally Posted by socrates

Teen wildness is directly proportional to parent strictness. All the wild people I know had very strict childhoods and as soon as they could get behind their parents back they let er rip. Then, once they became young adults they really got loose. I'm not saying they end up failures but they will definitely end up rebellious.

Be loose, allow your kids to be comfortable coming up and your relationship with them will stay good, gain trust and they will value your opinion through life but if you are strict they are likely to do exactly the opposite of what you would hope.

Still single with no kids, eh?

[IHOP]

Originally Posted by socrates

Teen wildness is directly proportional to parent strictness. All the wild people I know had very strict childhoods and as soon as they could get behind their parents back they let er rip. Then, once they became young adults they really got loose. I'm not saying they end up failures but they will definitely end up rebellious.

Be loose, allow your kids to be comfortable coming up and your relationship with them will stay good, gain trust and they will value your opinion through life but if you are strict they are likely to do exactly the opposite of what you would hope.

Do you have any research data to support this conclusion? Any facts other than your general observations? Because it has been MY observation that the pillars of the community, the leaders, the decision makers, the influencial, the successful people were all raised by strict parents.

The big difference is that they had loving parents that made them realize life is not all about them and their wants. That they belong to something bigger than themselves. I feel that it takes balance, love, time and commitment.

Why should your opinion and observations hold more weight than mine?

[cool rob]

Can someone define "strict" and maybe cite a few examples?