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Location: Georgia, on the Florida line, right above Tallahassee
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"I hit you because I love you, and you need to learn."
Try saying that to your wife. Then hit her with a belt. Hard. She needs to know who's the boss and that you're in control.
Then try saying it to a judge. "Look, judge. Sometimes, they just won't listen. Then, you gotta beat 'em a little bit, ya know? They don't learn until they cry? OK? OK? WHY AM I THE ONE IN HANDCUFFS? SHE'S THE BAD ONE!!!"
See how well that plays out for you. What's even worse is that most people see that it would be wrong to hit your wife, and she is much bigger and more capable of defending herself than a child (normally) is. Also, one day you will be old. Your children may end up putting you in a home. They might remember the angry beatings you gave them. This might cause problems down the line.
I used to be beaten; severely. With belts, shoes, flyswatters (she held the plastic and hit with the wire), coast hangers, boards, fingernail claws so deep it drew blood. No, I don't see the point in it.
It's not respect. It's fear. Respect is earned and granted. Fear only works when you are there to inflict the fear. Then what will they do? Will they obey you out of respect? Or fear? Or respecting the fear?
How can you teach a child that hitting is wrong if, every time they do something you don't like, you hit them?
You teach them the difference between punishment for wrongdoing, and hitting someone in anger, for starters. Then you point out that there are things grown-ups do that kids can't. That won't be a hard point for them to grasp, as there are about 500 other examples of such things you can think of to illustrate the point.
You teach them the difference between punishment for wrongdoing, and hitting someone in anger, for starters. Then you point out that there are things grown-ups do that kids can't. That won't be a hard point for them to grasp, as there are about 500 other examples of such things you can think of to illustrate the point.
IMO the best punishments are somehow related to the transgression. If a child has been mean to a sibling it makes more sense for the punishment to include being nice to the sibling. I have made my kids pick up after one another as a punishment for fighting with each other. I think that being forced to pick up a sibling's dirty underwear for a week hammers home the point far more than a swat. A swat is forgotten just a few minutes after it happens, but being forced to pick up after your brother for a week stays with you quite a while longer.
I don't think that it is NEVER ok to hit a child. I can see why it would be used under certain circumstances, but I do think parents can be more effective in their discipline by using violence very sparingly.
It's easy to hit and I think that's why so many people do it. It take a little bit of creativity to discipline without violence, but it can be done. Now that 2 of my kids are bigger than me I am certainly glad that I am able to discipline them without hitting them. I think they might laugh at me if I threatened to hit them. But they sure pay attention if I threaten to keep them out of their lacrosse practice for a week, or refuse to take them places on the weekends.
based on my own experiences from my own childhood, no. It doesn't do any good.
plus its child abuse. All the school or daycare has to see is one bruise to call Child Services on ya. Why risk that?
Think about it from an adult perspective: Would it teach you a lesson if your boss or a cop beat you every time you did something wrong at work or whenever? No it would make you fearful and resentful. Not some cooperative automaton.
A drinking buddy of mine said his father beat his tail. Once he claimed innocence, but still received a whupping. Then evidence emerged that he was indeed innocent and told his father so. His father replied: "You probably did something I do not know about." My friend said he was right.
Perhaps its a cultural thing, but nearly all of my African-American colleagues have stories where they were told to go outside and break a switch off of a tree, bring it back to mom or dad, and get a whupping with it.
All beating your child does is make him or her scared of you so 'you can control the child' due to your poor/lack of parenting skills. Find an alternative method so you 'do not beat down' your children.
There are many more things you can do than 'take a belt' to your kids. Not hitting them will NOT make you a wimpy parent or them 'deviants.'
Just because Grandpa did it to your dad and your dad hit you doesn't make it right.
Or maybe have less kids so you have more patience. I am so glad my husband and I have NEVER hit our child.
Physical punishment can be avoided. Try another method, please.
b
Think about it from an adult perspective: Would it teach you a lesson if your boss or a cop beat you every time you did something wrong at work or whenever?
When one adult hits another, it often ends up as a lawsuit.
Dont ever be mistaken that you are soft on your kids and let them run wild if you do not hit them. You do NOT need to hurt your children to get them to behave. You do need to follow through on punishments and time outs. As soon as my daughter is bad, I simply ask her if she wants to "go in her bed". She immediately says no and is good. If not, I pick her up and make her sit on her bed for a few minutes (she's only 3) and I explain why she's stuck on her bed and ask her to apologize. I just need to do this every once in a while for a few seconds and then the threat of getting put to bed continues to work like a charm. I also threaten to take away her passifier (which we let her have at night) and I turn off the TV too. As she gets older, I will be taking away TV privileges more as my mom did when I was little (and of course remove toys, she will learn these are privileges not rights). I HATED being without the TV!
WHY HURT YOUR OWN BABIES THOUGH? SICK SICK SICK
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