Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 09-08-2011, 10:22 PM
 
Location: State of INSANITY
183 posts, read 264,045 times
Reputation: 410

Advertisements

Since WHEN is beating a child with a belt "DISCIPLINE"? THE ones NEEDING the discipline are the PARENTS who DO THIS! I was beaten with a belt into my teens. ALL it taught me was to be very careful not to get "caught" and that I could not trust men for long time (my dad was the one who belted us). It also gave me a severe aversion to belts and in particular, belt buckles. Yea GREAT discipline. Tell your kids "don't hit others" but hit your kids? How on earth can anyone justify that? Do what I say, not what I do, much?

 
Old 09-08-2011, 10:27 PM
 
Location: State of INSANITY
183 posts, read 264,045 times
Reputation: 410
Oh and before anyone says that by not hitting my kids I have not disciplined them, I disagree. Hitting people is not discipline. I have managed to raise good, decent human beings without hitting or beating them, at all. It can be done even in today's "permissive" times.
 
Old 09-08-2011, 11:01 PM
 
4,043 posts, read 7,425,419 times
Reputation: 3899
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nelly Nomad View Post
In my opinion, when you hit a child (and there is no way you can tell me spanking is not hitting), you teach that child that people have the right to hit people with whom they disagree.
No, you don't teach them that. People don't have the right to hit people.

PARENT has the right to hit (spank, punish) CHILD when child is out of control. It doesn't go the other way around. Obviously the parent disagrees with the child in that moment, and the child disagrees with the parent - but here's one little inconvenient truth:

The child is NOT EQUAL to the parent.


Egalitarian propaganda doesn't apply in the family. At the end of the day, the parent-child relationship is NOT a democratic one. If you see it that way, you are doing your child a huge disservice by leaving him to the immaturity of his own yet-to-develop brain. The rights and responsibilities you have in the relationship with your child are NOT EQUAL to the rights and responsibilities the child has in his relationship with you.

So rest assured he will be able to figure out just fine when he grows up that you cannot simply hit another person "just because you disagree with him".

How many people do you know who were spanked by their parents grew up to smack another person who merely disagreed with them?

I wonder when will people wake up and use their common sense instead of unfounded sheer ideology?

This wooden PC game is getting so old.
 
Old 09-08-2011, 11:03 PM
 
4,043 posts, read 7,425,419 times
Reputation: 3899
Quote:
Originally Posted by MOMdotCOM2011 View Post
Oh and before anyone says that by not hitting my kids I have not disciplined them, I disagree. Hitting people is not discipline. I have managed to raise good, decent human beings without hitting or beating them, at all. It can be done even in today's "permissive" times.
Just because you did doesn't matter everyone else can.
Everyone's kids are not like your kids. Some are asking for it because the methods that worked on yours simply do not work on them.
It is really that simple.
 
Old 09-08-2011, 11:13 PM
 
Location: State of INSANITY
183 posts, read 264,045 times
Reputation: 410
Nothing but NOTHING is "that simple". Parents who physically harm kids IMO lack imagination or means to cope with discipline problems by simply hitting them. There are ways to discipline kids without getting physical. And that does not mean we are making then "equal" or being PC. I will never agree hitting/beating is good discipline, no matter how PC you make me out to be. Having been on the receiving end of physical discipline, I know it taught me to be sneakier, not better-behaved.
 
Old 09-08-2011, 11:43 PM
 
1,077 posts, read 2,627,393 times
Reputation: 1071
I was "belted" numerous times when I was a kid, so were my brothers. We aren't suffering psychologically. I wear belts all the time. I don't take a belt to my own kids, never had to. I "LIVED IT" and have raised four well adjusted happy boys. I believe in spanking but can't remember the last time I did spank one of my boys it's been so long ago. I can recall a time when my brother was hiding and shooting the neighbor kid with a bb gun. My dad belted him and then sat down and explained why he would not be able to touch a gun for a very long time. My brother is one of the safest people I know around guns now. I also remember the many bruises and welts the neighbor boy had from the bb's. If you ask me, that kid had it worse than my brother did.
 
Old 09-09-2011, 04:18 AM
 
1,812 posts, read 3,351,879 times
Reputation: 751
maybe someone will whip his azz in jail . Adults should not be hitting kids Hit someone your own size And A REAL man does not hit kids or females.
 
Old 09-09-2011, 04:20 AM
 
1,812 posts, read 3,351,879 times
Reputation: 751
adults should not be hitting kids PERIOD...

and men who hit kids or girls / women are not MEN they are beasts that don't have the balls to hit another man
 
Old 09-09-2011, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,003 posts, read 11,704,143 times
Reputation: 19540
Quote:
Originally Posted by magoomafoo View Post
I was "belted" numerous times when I was a kid, so were my brothers. We aren't suffering psychologically. I wear belts all the time. I don't take a belt to my own kids, never had to. I "LIVED IT" and have raised four well adjusted happy boys. I believe in spanking but can't remember the last time I did spank one of my boys it's been so long ago. I can recall a time when my brother was hiding and shooting the neighbor kid with a bb gun. My dad belted him and then sat down and explained why he would not be able to touch a gun for a very long time. My brother is one of the safest people I know around guns now. I also remember the many bruises and welts the neighbor boy had from the bb's. If you ask me, that kid had it worse than my brother did.
I got some pretty bad ones too, and got the belt many times. The thing I remember about it most though was the sheer ANGER I felt. When I was struck, I was struck in anger...my father was in a RAGE. If he would have taken just a few minutes to take a breath and get himself under control, he would have realized that 99% of the time, it wasn't a spanking offense, much less a "beating" offense. He was probably already pi$$ed off about something else and my actions were just the straw that broke the camel's back!

As I've said before though, I LEARNED many lessons from my parents' forms of discipline. I knew what worked for me and what did NOT work for me. As another poster said, most of the "whippings" only taught me to be more careful next time. LOL I think one of the biggest reasons that people go overboard and ballistic on their kids is that they don't take the time to walk away and THINK first. They strike in the heat of anger. NEVER a good thing!

With 4 kids...I can't tell you the number of times I almost lost it, but had enough self-control to say, "You need to STOP...get away from me NOW!! You need to get to your room/outside/on the stairs (etc.) and not say one word...not one. Do not come near me or I'm gonna do something that we're both going to regret!! Right now, I am SO angry with you that you need to just get away from me! When I've calmed down and you've had time to think about what you've done, THEN we'll talk about it, but for now, you need to GET away from me."

I KNEW that I was angry enough to say or do something to hurt them very bad...something that I knew would have long-lasting emotional damage to both of us, IF I didn't give my anger a chance to subside so that I COULD think clearly and rationally.
 
Old 09-09-2011, 09:33 AM
 
1,077 posts, read 2,627,393 times
Reputation: 1071
Beachmel, I have four children also, I know how frustrating it can be at times. My father never "belted" me or my brothers out of anger. It was never immediately after whatever wrong we had done and he always talked to us before, explaining why we had it coming and after to reinterate into our heads. Yes I was always angry afterward, my butt hurt. Because my dad had taken the time to explain right from wrong to me, after a while it sank in. My argument for spanking stems from teaching right from wrong. If a person steals, they go to jail. If a person murders, they can get the death penalty. For every wrong doing, there is a price to pay and I feel that children who don't learn this expect that nothing will happen to them if they do anything wrong. Example: Little Johnny keeps taking pens and writing on the walls. Mom and Dad keep saying...."Now Johnny, here is some paper for you to express yourself with, the walls are not for coloring." When Johnny is 15, he gets busted by the cops for painting graffitti on a building. Johnny is shocked to learn that this is illegal and that there is a punishment for it. He then blames Mom and Dad for not teaching him right from wrong, cops the "my life sucks because Mom and Dad didn't raise me right" act, sinks into a so-called depression and lives off society all because Mom and Dad couldn't bring themselves to discipline little Johnny when he was five. I'm not saying that every little infraction deserves a belting, most can be taken care of with explaination or taking away privilages or possessions but some of the serious infractions deserve a harder punishment. I also believe that a child should NEVER be belted so hard that they have bruises or welts and NEVER be belted until the parent has cooled down and assessed the situation.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:34 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top