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Old 05-12-2009, 05:53 PM
 
10 posts, read 38,273 times
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I'm so tired of cleaning pee sheets, pants, and underwear. Scrubbing beds, shoes, and stuffed animals. I have a pup I never had to even potty train. I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter who I've had it with. She used to be such an angel and now she's just the biggest diva on earth. She constantly wakes up every morning and lays in bed until she wets it instead of getting up to use the washroom. She even goes as much as walking into the bathroom standing next to the toilet and looks at me and says "I peed already. I didn't make it to the toilet." But she was right next to it. I have to get on her just to use the bathroom. If I don't remember then she'll never go. Why?? She'll be 5 in 5 months. I never had this type of problem with her. My mom used to take her to the bathroom, put her on the toilet, and wipe her. I stopped all that but why is she not going back to normal? Sometimes she even screams when I ask her to go that she doesn't want to be alone. What the hell am I doing wrong? I am a stay at home mom, I let her have what ever she wants but now have taken the TV out of her room due to the potty problem. I've cracked down on her so much I feel miserable. Absolutely no tv when she has an accident, I even take a toy. She's been potty trained since 2. She did have a urinary tract infection a month ago but was on meds and went away. She was fine for a few wks and now she started again. I'm slowly losing my head. Any suggestions? She's with me all day long 24 hrs a day 7 days a wk. I wake up to her I go to bed to her. She goes to school 3 days a wk 2 hrs a day and has absolutely no accidents. But i take preventive measurements. Nothing to drink in the Am before school. Pee right before she gets in the classroom right when she lets out. It's almost like I'm a drill sergant but she's never going to get this if it's all me telling her when to go. What should I do?
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Old 05-12-2009, 06:02 PM
 
18,325 posts, read 18,907,579 times
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gosh what a mess. the first thing I would do is I would not yell at her or take things away from her. you really don't want her to remember this as a huge deal. maybe she is peeing to get back at you for taking away her stuff. or figures even if it is an accident she will be in trouble anyway so why bother to try to get to the toliet. perhaps put diapers back on her and leave it at that for awhile. maybe she will get tired of wearing them. maybe a huge reward at the end of the week if she can manage to get to the bathroom a great toy she wants or some thing that is very special. a trip to disneyland agfter 6 months with no accidents. she maybe prone to infections you may need to rule that out again. you may also need to find sometime for yourself 24/7 is hard. at least try to get to lunch with the girls once a week. good luck to you both
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Old 05-12-2009, 06:12 PM
 
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I've done rewards, I've done everything you can possibly imagine. She was peeing herself way before I took stuff away from her.
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Old 05-12-2009, 06:30 PM
 
Location: Rogers, Arkansas
1,279 posts, read 4,755,146 times
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Maybe considering she had the UTI, it still hurts to pee, or simply the memory of it hurting makes her afraid to go till she cannot hold it? Did you ask the playschool if she ever goes there? I know you take measures but I wonder if she can go when she wants to (which would be the case if she goes to the bathroom as normal at school).

You also mention she says doesn't want to be alone. Could it be something- or someone- scared her when she went to the bathrom at some stage?
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Old 05-12-2009, 06:33 PM
 
2,058 posts, read 5,843,758 times
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Sounds like a control issue to me. When my daughter would wet herself (and she was 3), I would make her clean it up herself. I would always have to go in after her and really clean, but I'd say, "Take care of it yourself, get your wet clothes in the laundry room, and get yourself dressed, make sure the floor is dry." She learned quick. Not sure about the bed thing. That would drive me nuts. I'd just make sure to have a plastic cover over the mattress. Maybe show her how to take the sheets off and put them in the laundry room. She's old enough to do that sort of thing. Good luck.
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Old 05-12-2009, 07:06 PM
 
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No no one scared her. We have moved in the past 6 months. We moved in with my brother. His daughter stays the weekends with us and she's super good when her cousin is here just when she leaves it's like a diff kid. I do make her clean, take everything down to the laundry and she actually thinks it's fun. I have plastic sheets on the bed but she pees so much it just soaks through.
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Old 05-12-2009, 07:25 PM
 
Location: NYC
16,061 posts, read 26,641,910 times
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I would talk to your pediatrician for advice, just in case it is something more.

That said, it does sound like it could be one of two things. She is trying to tell you something she can't say in words by acting out or it is a control issue and she is trying to manipulate you. I would sit her down and talk to her, ask her why she is not using the toilet, if anything is wrong, that you love her and she is safe.

I would then have her clean up her own mess. If she pees in the bed, have her help you take off the sheets, put them in the washer, wipe up the floor, wash her clothes etc. Do your best not to get angry, just let her know the consequences of her actions, is cleaning her mess.

Good luck!
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Old 05-12-2009, 10:34 PM
 
10 posts, read 38,273 times
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I've asked her what's wrong and she says she's always "too tired" i dont know i might just give in and make a ped appointment
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Old 05-13-2009, 12:13 AM
 
Location: NE Oklahoma
1,036 posts, read 3,056,879 times
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You said you moved in the last 6 months? What other changes have been recent? How is her diet? If she is to tired is she not sleeping well? If not...why not? Was she living with Grandma before this?
With any of these things it could be just simple regression. Kids react to change severely and alot of times with regression. You might want to follow up on that UTI and make sure it is really gone.
If all these things are OK then you have to take it one step farther. I can only tell you that sometimes when a child that has been potty trained for many years looses it, there can be sexual abuse involved. I am not saying IT IS, just it could be. It is one of the main indicators in a very young child. Please be careful and cautious in this situation.
Also, I would rethink the punishment. I wouldn't take things away but you might have to go back to the potty training stage where you put her on the potty every 2 hours and she stays till she pees. If she has an accident she can't wear pretty panties, must wear a pull-up. I guess that is sort of a punishment but most girls will get that one fairly fast. Make a big deal about how pretty and big girl they are, to bad you can't wear them.... you know. At 4 she should be able to grip that really quick. Don't try to control it, let it be her choice. Don't get upset, just put on the pull-up. Since she has an accident when she wakes up then she has to sleep in them. Life is just hard when your a kid.
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Old 05-13-2009, 12:54 AM
 
2,385 posts, read 4,320,774 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by okpondlady View Post
If all these things are OK then you have to take it one step farther. I can only tell you that sometimes when a child that has been potty trained for many years looses it, there can be sexual abuse involved. I am not saying IT IS, just it could be. It is one of the main indicators in a very young child. Please be careful and cautious in this situation.
Yes, I'm seeing a red flag here as well. It really sounds like sex abuse to me. Here are all the reasons why:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Adamson11 View Post
I never had this type of problem with her...why is she not going back to normal? Sometimes she even screams when I ask her to go that she doesn't want to be alone.
Notice that she's not screaming at you about being bossy or that she can't do something you're trying to make her do. What she's yelling at you really has nothing to do with peeing. She's begging you, when she's in this vulnerable, semi-naked state, that she's scared to be alone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adamson11 View Post
We have moved in the past 6 months. We moved in with my brother. His daughter stays the weekends with us and she's super good when her cousin is here just when she leaves it's like a diff kid.
If she's screams at you that she doesn't want to be alone and she's completely fine when his daughter is there and then regresses immediately after she leaves, this is a BIG RED FLAG to me. I feel as if she using urine to make herself unattractive to the potential molester as well as trying to send you a message that something is wrong.

If everything checks out at the Pediatrician's, please take her for counseling. Let an expert decide whether s/he thinks your daughter is being sexually molested. It won't hurt her to investigate the situation, and no one has to know that's what you're doing. If it turns out she is being abused, you'll save your daughter and YOURSELF a lot of pain and anguish in the long run. If she is being hurt, you will NEVER forgive yourself that you didn't take these signs more seriously.
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