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We have been lucky that our kids haven't experienced this. Yes, they like to shop at popular stores on occasion but their favorite store is Aero and I LOVE the prices there. I think you will find as your kids grow that some classes are just worse then others and all it takes is one or two kids to turn a class. Our kids are in 8th grade and 11th grade and aren't really brand conscious and neither is the school as a whole. There are a few kids here and there that are bad but for the most part the kids are pretty good. I know the class ahead of our 8th graders is REALLY bad though.
I can't say that this is starting any earlier then it did when I was in school. Maybe it wasn't clothing as much but if you didn't have the right toys or carry the right size and color of comb in your back pocket that was a big deal. Kids have a need to fit in, it is part of growing up.
Good luck, OP, it sounds like you are going to need it!
You're right about parents nowadays. I think there are so many who are trying to live vicariously through their children and if their kids are perceived as "cool" then they as parents will be "cool" too. Unfortunately they haven't realized that parenting is not about being cool. And worse is when parents let their kids see that it's better to be way over your head in credit card debt in order to buy things you cannot afford than to actually live within your means.
As far as Miley Cyrus, I think you have to be careful about this one. Not just her, but every other fad that kids enjoy nowadays. We had the same thing growing up, it just wasn't marketed the same way. I'd much rather have my daughter watch High School Musical than Grease (which is what I had growing up). When Grease came on the other day, I could not believe how inappropriate it was! I must be getting sensitive now that I have kids!
There isn't a reason to be hostile towards teeny bop trends. The difference is that your kids should enjoy what they will, just not make these kids into role models. Your kids should understand that entertainers don't have any more common sense or life skills than their day-to-day classmates. Enjoy their singing or their shows, but then go out and be yourself. I don't remember watching Grease for the first time and asking my mom for spandex pants and red high heels. I DO remember singing the songs and dancing around. I watched my daughter see High School Musical for the first time and she was mesmerized. She sang those songs and asked to watch the movie for weeks. She has a t-shirt with their pictures on them, but when we saw the "Gabriella" dress at Macy's, she wasn't even interested. 1 Point for mom, 0 points for the mass market. Luckily she understands that just because she likes a movie does not mean she must dress like every one of the characters, have a HSM backpack, HSM room decor and every single HSM barbie and accessory.
My daughter truly does not like Miley Cryus, HS Musical, Jonas Brothers, ect. She's seen them on TV, she runs the remote when she's watching, and she HATES them. She think they have no talent, are boring, shallow, and plain doesn't like them. She's already being pressured by her cousin...who was pressured by her mother...to like Miley Cyrus. My daughter does not like her. (Fine with me, she a little (add in word I can't put here) and has child porn pics of herself all over the internet along with having a boyfriend four years older.) But that is not why my daughter doesn't like her. She understands she is a nasty girl, from stuff she found online herself (now naive of me to not think that was a possibility). She doesn't like her because she's dumb, boring, screams a lot, and crys when someone doesn't like her shirt.
We might have had the same stuff growing up but I did not like it. No Boys on the Block for me or other boy bands like NSync toward the end there for me. I told my friends that I didn't think they had talent...They were carefully hand picked for their looks, taught how to sing and dance, played no instruments, and could not thrive on their own. I like music that was real. I did not follow the trends. I knew about them but I did not care about them and it did not affect my ability to have friends or find different things to talk about. As far as watching Grease vs High school musical, ect. The message, not apporiateness, is what is important to me. We'll watch Shindler's list with our daughter, Super Size Me, ect. The message sticks. Most parents would not approve of their children watching these at such young ages, and most kids probably would not be interseted but the messages answer questions that she has and it's a healthy message sent vs a trendy alternative.
When it comes to peer pressure, I teach my daughter to have a strong personality and not give in. If her cousin wants her to sing her songs or dress in her dress or wear her wig, my daughter politely declines. If she pressures her, she tells her, "I don't care if you like that. I don't. I am hurt you would do this. I would never try to make you do something that you did not like." When that doesn't work, she tells her she doesn't want to be around her. Nothing hostile about it, except the girl trying to make her like something she does not like. More power to my daughter. My neice learns this behavior at school. 100 points for being privilaged enough to have the opportunity to homeschool where she can learn this and gain the courage to actually use it in real life situations, 0 points to family who allow this behavior toward friends and family members and mindlessly follow trends without becoming eductated or providing any healthy alternatives.
I do not buy clothing with name brands or logos on them what so ever. To me, there is nothing worse than paying some company so that my child can advertise their products for them. My children will not be walking billboards. I will, however, teach them to be confident and comfortable in the skin they are in and to dress in a way that express this.
Last edited by flik_becky; 05-27-2009 at 08:55 AM..
100 points for being privilaged enough to have the opportunity to homeschool where she can learn this and gain the courage to actually use it in real life situations, 0 points to family who allow this behavior toward friends and family members and mindlessly follow trends without becoming eductated or providing any healthy alternatives.
You can have a "strong personality" and sef respect without being obnoxious.... I don't think you have to homeschool in order create an environment to learn these things. I think I am teaching my daughter to stand up for herself right now.... she is learning these things witout being hostile towards other people. I also do not feel I need to force her to make choices about every aspect of her life.... she is six....I do gear her towards the right direction... however. I don't like Miley Cyrus/Hanna Montana and if she acts sassy I will remind her of her age and that she is not a teenager like Hanna Montana. She is allowed to listen to her music because, in all honesty, there is nothing wrong with the lyrics. But, the shows are not something I want her to watch at six, nor Sweet Life, Raven.... they are teenagers and she is six..... that is my reason when she asks. I would prefer she watch NOGGIN... but that is ME. I do let her listen and watch HSM and go to the movies... as another poster said it is so much more appropriate than GREECE (have you watched that recently lol) and we watched that as kids right? All I am saying is just I don't like listening to the Jonas Bros songs there isn't anything wrong with their lyrics or music.... they are not inapporpriate or vulgar... so I am not going to punish her or others by being rude to them.... or teach her to be rude to them.... I would rather teach her to use kindness to put them in their place WHEN NEEDED.... and home schooling has absolutly NOTHING to do with it.... nothing.....
This was always an issue with my kids too, and being a single parent, I could not afford to shop at Hollister...etc.
My kids were always in labels though, I just bought theirs at Goodwill and other thrift stores, and yard sales...their friends were none the wiser. They felt accepted, and my wallet didn't suffer.
It seems to me that the problem is really that the parents try to cater to this ridiculous behavior.
By buying name brands (wherever; Goodwill, yard sales, etc.) you are encouraging this sort of behavior and line of thinking to continue. Why not teach your kids that they are more than just the label on their backs?
Thankfully, we haven't seen a lot of that yet in my daughter's school (she is also in 1st grade),but we have seen other things.. such as; girls having "clubs"?? at recess apparently there is a particular girl who has her own "club" and you have to know the special handshake to be in the club. I tell my daughter all the time "we don't belong to clubs,we are friends with everyone!" and she shrugs her shoulders and says "yeah,that is good"!
My daughter is just about done with Kindergarten and while I haven't heard the phrase "clubs," the thing I hear a lot is who is getting invited to their birthday. My daughter came home the other day and said that she was only going to invite so-and-so to her birthday party. I reminded her that her birthday is not until October! But, when I was volunteering in her class a few weeks ago, I heard another kid mention that one kid was not getting invited to her birthday party (which also is months away). I guess "birthday party" and "clubs" are the same thing...ways to exclude kids. We are working on that one but as of now, the kids change daily according to who shared their colored pencils and who didn't let them swing at recess.
The message, not apporiateness, is what is important to me. We'll watch Shindler's list with our daughter, Super Size Me, ect. The message sticks.
I am sure you are a nice person, but that's just weird. Each parent has to decide what's best for their kids but I don't see any more logic on your part of being hypercritical of teeny boppers versus letting them watch naked Jews being cattle driven to the gas chambers. I remember Schindler's List very well, it was an amazing movie and I enjoyed Super Size Me (we don't eat at McD's anyway) too but since I still get a lump in my throat over certain horrible scenes from Schindler's List, it is nothing I'd expose my young kids to. Again, I think there is a big difference between watching HSM and then going out to play compared to letting them watch hours and hours of the Disney Channel, buying them every single item from their favorite show and turning these kids into role models.
My daughter doesn't like Miley Cyrus or the Jonas Brothers but she does like HSM (only the 1st one because she said the next 2 had too much kissing). But she still would rather be outside (she's just figured out how to jump rope) or playing with her toys. That's all right with me.
as another poster said it is so much more appropriate than GREECE (have you watched that recently lol) and we watched that as kids right?
Yes, it was a bit of a shock to have my daughter's teacher tell me that my daughter said "sh_t" and when I asked her where she'd heard that, she replied "Danny Zucko". That was the end of that DVD. I think the difference between us watching Grease and kids today watching HSM is that Grease didn't get released complete with Happy Meal toys and look-alike spandex pants for children! We also didn't do the idolizing thing that kids today have. I didn't spend hours trying to find everything out on Olivia Newton-John or John Travolta. I enjoyed it as a movie, sang some of the songs, then went on my way. Today, it's all about, "If you love the movie, you must have the room decor/backpack/look-alike clothes/barbies and special-edition 4-disc soundtrack."
But in fairness, I was a child of the 80s. I graduated high school in 1990, so I wore the Madonna black rubber bracelets, lace leggings under puffy skirts, did the "Moonwalk", wore the "Franky says Relax" t-shirts or anything else with Wham-Inspired words on them and plastered my walls with Duran Duran posters. I also wanted to be Molly Ringwald when I grew up and would have endless debates about which movie was better, Pretty in Pink or Sixteen Candles. Even Sixteen Candles is totally inappropriate compared to HSM and I am sure I was pretty young when that movie came out.
Yes, it was a bit of a shock to have my daughter's teacher tell me that my daughter said "sh_t" and when I asked her where she'd heard that, she replied "Danny Zucko".
Funny you mention Grease because I was watching it the other day and was amazed because my 8th birthday party was some friends and me seeing it at the movie theater. I also got the LP soundtrack.
Have you seen the SNL sketch with Christopher Walken where they rewrite the lyrics to "Greased Lightning" ?
It seems to me that the problem is really that the parents try to cater to this ridiculous behavior.
By buying name brands (wherever; Goodwill, yard sales, etc.) you are encouraging this sort of behavior and line of thinking to continue. Why not teach your kids that they are more than just the label on their backs?
Really?
What sort of "behavior" are you referring to?
I never stated that my children ever had anyone make fun of their lack of designer labels...nor have they ever made fun of anyone....of course our school is in a very rural area...
They also wore Walmart and Family Dollar clothing as well....along with the few designer things they got at the yard sales, etc.
My kids clothes have nothing to do with their self esteem...you're not talking to a newbie Mom ya know...
My children are very successful, and they know their clothing had nothing to do with that.
Do you send your kids to school in old flour sacks? I think not.
It seems to me that the problem is really that the parents try to cater to this ridiculous behavior.
By buying name brands (wherever; Goodwill, yard sales, etc.) you are encouraging this sort of behavior and line of thinking to continue. Why not teach your kids that they are more than just the label on their backs?
I agree with you. If my kids said, "I have to wear Sketchers sneakers, because everyone else has them," I wouldn't run right out to the mall OR Goodwill to buy them Sketchers sneakers. No matter where you get them, you are still sending the message that it's right to make a big deal out of name brands. I read in the Tightwad Gazette that someone used to go to thrift shops, buy old stained shirts with name brands, and sew those name brand tags into their children's clothing. How absurd!
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But, when I was volunteering in her class a few weeks ago, I heard another kid mention that one kid was not getting invited to her birthday party (which also is months away). I guess "birthday party" and "clubs" are the same thing...ways to exclude kids. We are working on that one but as of now, the kids change daily according to who shared their colored pencils and who didn't let them swing at recess.
