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I agree with you. If my kids said, "I have to wear Sketchers sneakers, because everyone else has them," I wouldn't run right out to the mall OR Goodwill to buy them Sketchers sneakers. No matter where you get them, you are still sending the message that it's right to make a big deal out of name brands. I read in the Tightwad Gazette that someone used to go to thrift shops, buy old stained shirts with name brands, and sew those name brand tags into their children's clothing. How absurd!
There's where the confusion is...my kids never came home requesting stuff...they've been raised well.
I would buy stuff as I would come across it.
It would be nice not to generalize all parents whose kids have on labels...you don't know how that came about, and unless you can see and hear that the child is a spoiled brat...it it wrong to just assume that.
There's where the confusion is...my kids never came home requesting stuff...they've been raised well.
I would buy stuff as I would come across it.
It would be nice not to generalize all parents whose kids have on labels...you don't know how that came about, and unless you can see and hear that the child is a spoiled brat...it it wrong to just assume that.
I was not actually talking to you or about you... unless you are the one in the Tightwad Gazette who cuts out labels and sews them on your children's clothing, in which case I stand by my assertion that it is absurd. It has nothing to do with a child being a spoiled brat, and everything to do with worrying about what other people think and trying too hard to fit in.
I was not actually talking to you or about you... unless you are the one in the Tightwad Gazette who cuts out labels and sews them on your children's clothing, in which case I stand by my assertion that it is absurd. It has nothing to do with a child being a spoiled brat, and everything to do with worrying about what other people think and trying too hard to fit in.
Since we need to go into detail about my previous post....I quoted you in response to the PP's post, where you were in agreement....I never insinuated that your post was about me....we're talking about children in general...and you can't judge how a child acts by looking at their clothing as PP stated...in reference to the term "behavior"....
So dressing nicely in school is a "behavior".
When you dress nicely to go anywhere, are you wrongly worrying about what people think?
So what if someone buys their kid a .50 Aeropostale shirt at a yard sale?
If we didn't worry about what people thought...we'd never shower, groom ourselves...etc.
I just don't understand the PP generalizing this as a "behavior".
There are many different levels of this...kids wanting the occasional Hollister top...or the bratty kids who think they are entitled to whatever their little hearts desire. That is my point. You can't clump them together.
Like all kids who have a pair of Sketchers are spoiled?
*shrug* I never said anyone's kids were spoiled. I was referring to the behavior of the parents, LOL.
Dressing nicely (meaning being neat, clean, and dressed appropriately for the occasion) is not a "behavior." What the OP referred to (children ostracizing and harrassing other children based on the tags/labels on their clothing) is a bad "behavior," and I think that when all of the parents go along with the status quo of *having* to buy their kids name brand items, it just contributes to the general snobbiness. Someone can be dressed nicely and appropriately in clothing from Target or Walmart or Sears. There's nothing wrong with having an Aeropostale shirt, even if you paid full price for it... but there is something wrong with deeming other children as unpopular or harrassing them because they do not wear all (or any) name-brand clothing. These are six year old children, not peer-pressure-sensitive teenagers.
When five and six year olds are concerned with labels, it's because they're either watching way too much TV, or because their parents (or their peers) are making it an issue. My six year old has no clue that there is a brand difference between her yellow shirt from Walmart and her yellow shirt from The Children's Place... to her, they're both yellow shirts; one has a monkey on it, and one has a pink stripe. My eight year old is happy to wear anything with a camoflauge pattern... he has no care of what store it came from or what the tag says. I can't imagine such young children coming up with something like that on their own.
Thankfully, we haven't seen a lot of that yet in my daughter's school (she is also in 1st grade),but we have seen other things.. such as; girls having "clubs"?? at recess apparently there is a particular girl who has her own "club" and you have to know the special handshake to be in the club.
I tell my daughter all the time "we don't belong to clubs,we are friends with everyone!" and she shrugs her shoulders and says "yeah,that is good"!
lol we had that in elementary school - usually your club was comprised of the girls in your class. We'd all do silly stuff like wear green scrunchies on your left arm or we'd one sock up and one sock down. I think ours was fueled from reading books like The Fantastic Foursome and the Fabulous Five and Sweet Valley Twins, etc. At that age every group of girls was in a "club"
This is scaring me...but fortunately it seems Huntsville is so different from West Palm that it might buy me more time.
It stands still here.
I had read an article several years ago about this very problem and what struck me most is how oblivious the parents were to their contribution. Parents with name$, name$, name$...no wonder the kids expect so much.
Now, I've got brands on my back...sure, some...but no logos. Labels are inside and possibly even removed. I don't have any reason to wear a name other than mine, and that's what I'm trying to teach my daughter. Own it, make it yours, no matter what it is.
If I buy something haughty, believe me, it was because I wanted that style and not the status. If I go looking for a particular brand it is because of the quality or fit and almost certainly on sale or off eBay.
I will show her how to make vintage work...explore the thrill of old becoming new again...when she gets old enough to have that self-assurance. If she's in to it. Otherwise she will have to deal with whatever we can manage...but I will not allow peer pressure to control my budget.
I started getting hassled early because I was the poor kid in the ugly clothing...and that was back in the 70's, so you know it was ugly and horribly polyester to boot. Was tormented until I convinced my mother to buy me ONE pair of Lee jeans (Lee was cooler at the time than Levis...and this is right before the fancy pocket designer jean disease.) and they were shrink to fit. Then I was picked-on because they fit perfectly...but tighter than the other kid's. By no means too tight, but in other words, no matter what I did I would be out. Later it was because I lived in the Preppy zone (polos, chinos, loafers) but was myself a freak wearing chunky high heel boots, cigarette jeans and weird 80's make-up...very "wrong". I had to get a job to buy the stuff I wanted that seemed unreasonable to my mother...Nowadays we can substitute "unreasonable" with "ridiculous".
Daughter. Lucky, I guess. 5. Right now she doesn't give a .... about what anyone else her age is wearing...she likes the stuff Mommy and Daddy wear. So we just bought her a pair of pink Converse hi-tops. (BTW, Garnet Hill clearance - $12.00). Not because they were trendy Converse but because she wanted the same style of sneaker and these, even with shipping, were cheaper than finding them locally and off-brand, ala brick and mortar. Next time they might be from Target. If we want to make them special...fabric paint and ink stamps! Glitter, funky laces...whatever.
I'd mentioned it before in another thread...I look at what is out there and then modify what I can to get the same fashion. Baby Style and Garnet Hill are all about raw-edged hems, dip-dyes and artsy appliques...easy enough. Go buy something cheap and make it cool. The kids will be none the wiser, daughter will dig it and you get the bonus of knowing you did it yourself for a few bucks instead of many.
I find the more expensive clothes look so much more quality and classy, like Lacoste, Ralph Lauren and even the Gap. Main thing is that these items MUST be bought ONLY on sale otherwise they are just exhorbitantly priced. So i find Polo dresses and shirts for around $25 and less. I refuse to actually spend a ton of money on the clothes, but I dont want my daughter looking cheap like I did as a kid. I know they gain popularity by their clothing, as silly as this is, and I dont want my baby being behind on this front cuz of the clothes I buy her. I am just lucky that I have the means to buy high end clothes on sale. Therefore she wont be embarrassed like I was as a child.
The important thing here is that no matter what type of clothing the child is wearing ,that they are being taught that it isn't important. I purchase things from Garnet Hill as well,but my children have no idea where it comes from,Talbot Kids online as well as Matilda Jane... actually,none of these names "mean anything" to any kids I am sure, there isn't a 1st grader I know that even knows what Matilda Jane is,unless of course their parent is telling them.
We can all dress our children however we choose,Target,Walmart,Lacoste or Juicy,whatever...BUT it is important that they realize it just doesn't matter and as the OP is trying to state,she just wants her children to grow up and be able to stand tall and proud of who she is,no matter where her clothing is coming from.
Let's face it.. as adults we know that life's lessons will become harder for them as they grow older,and being taught to be proud of themselves and confident no matter what, will get them far!
There's where the confusion is...my kids never came home requesting stuff...they've been raised well.
I would buy stuff as I would come across it.
It would be nice not to generalize all parents whose kids have on labels...you don't know how that came about, and unless you can see and hear that the child is a spoiled brat...it it wrong to just assume that.
The confusion was caused by you contradicting yourself in all of your posts. This is your first post, where you agree with the OP:
"This was always an issue with my kids too, and being a single parent, I could not afford to shop at Hollister...etc.
My kids were always in labels though, I just bought theirs at Goodwill and other thrift stores, and yard sales...their friends were none the wiser. They felt accepted, and my wallet didn't suffer."
The bolded statement implies that your children DID request the stuff in order to fit in with their peers.
You also claim that your children were "ALWAYS in labels", which also quite clearly states that you don't shop anywhere that doesn't sell name brand clothing. So it is a contradiction when you say: "They also wore Walmart and Family Dollar clothing as well....along with the few designer things they got at the yard sales, etc.", in another post. Which one is it?
The behavior that I referred to is parents who cater to their kids clothing whims and need to wear the same name brands as the other kids by buying them the clothing. It doesn't matter where you get the clothes. If my kids comes home and says that he/she needs a new piece of clothing because it is a name brand or he/she will be a social outcast/die/never be able to go to school again, I would have to say "too bad"!
And to answer your question about whether or not I cloth my kids in flour sacks, or whatever snarky remark you made, my kids wear what we can afford and what is comfortable/warm/weather appropriate for them. They don't go to school because we homeschool and they have never felt the need to buy or wear name brand clothing just to fit in.
The confusion was caused by you contradicting yourself in all of your posts. This is your first post, where you agree with the OP:
"This was always an issue with my kids too, and being a single parent, I could not afford to shop at Hollister...etc.
My kids were always in labels though, I just bought theirs at Goodwill and other thrift stores, and yard sales...their friends were none the wiser. They felt accepted, and my wallet didn't suffer."
The bolded statement implies that your children DID request the stuff in order to fit in with their peers.
You also claim that your children were "ALWAYS in labels", which also quite clearly states that you don't shop anywhere that doesn't sell name brand clothing. So it is a contradiction when you say: "They also wore Walmart and Family Dollar clothing as well....along with the few designer things they got at the yard sales, etc.", in another post. Which one is it?
The behavior that I referred to is parents who cater to their kids clothing whims and need to wear the same name brands as the other kids by buying them the clothing. It doesn't matter where you get the clothes. If my kids comes home and says that he/she needs a new piece of clothing because it is a name brand or he/she will be a social outcast/die/never be able to go to school again, I would have to say "too bad"!
And to answer your question about whether or not I cloth my kids in flour sacks, or whatever snarky remark you made, my kids wear what we can afford and what is comfortable/warm/weather appropriate for them. They don't go to school because we homeschool and they have never felt the need to buy or wear name brand clothing just to fit in.
Wrong...by "issue", I meant I couldn't afford to shop at Hollister, meaning the money "issue" (love those quotations)....I have a habit of using the word "always". Shoot me. WTH would I lie? Not all school have hateful, teasing, bullying kids...so they didn't feel any pressure.
Basically, I was trying to tell the OP that it is possible to dress in trendy clothing without the cost....but thanks for disecting my post!
Unless you know me or my kids...who are grown BTW....don't ASSume.
I'd love to see what the children of the parenst here who NEVER give in to any of their whims...where do people like that get their clothing? Bet it costs more than I spent on my kids.
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I had to get a job to buy the stuff I wanted that seemed unreasonable to my mother...Nowadays we can substitute "unreasonable" with "ridiculous". 
