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My daughter is in First Grade and already clothing labels are coming into play. JUSTICE is a big one and the kids are obsessed (she is SIX!!!!). I don't remember really caring about where I shopped until middle school. I don't shop there because it is far too expensive for me. Her friends have let her know that she does not wear these clothes and ask her why not... well, more like harass her... ... even though I get clothes that LOOK like them from places like Target or Wal Mart....
Another thing she is coming home and talking about is POPULARITY... So and So is popular and this one just isn't.... AT SIX??!!! I have had MANY a conversation about how inapporpriate and hurtful this is to others and she has promised to never participate in these conversations at school. So far she is one that can be swayed by these conversations with me and follows directions even when at school.... BUT how much longer is that going to last?
Things just seem to be happening so much faster than I remember them at that age.... and even when I talk to my cousins who are in their late teens and early 20's... they are shocked and don't remember such things being the case. I feel like it is more like Middle School than Elementary School!!!!!!
That is ridiculous. I am not doubting that happens but it is ridiculous. A wonderful time to teach that we don't select our friends based on appearances (in another day this was called - don't choose a book by it's cover). Little girls are fickle and bossy. They will try to influence another childs choices and if it does, they will be smug and keep on doing it. I would dress your child as you feel appropriate and within your circumstances. The girls will eventually get over it as long as you are not forcing your child to attend school wearing something so outdated or unfashionable as to stand out horribly (which I seriously doubt you would).As my cousin would say "just another pebble in the rocky path of life..."
This was always an issue with my kids too, and being a single parent, I could not afford to shop at Hollister...etc.
My kids were always in labels though, I just bought theirs at Goodwill and other thrift stores, and yard sales...their friends were none the wiser. They felt accepted, and my wallet didn't suffer.
I am a SAHM.... used to teach (another reason I am so shocked)... so we are on a fixed income and even if we were not I think spending $50+ an outfit for a kid who is going to stain and outgrow it is a bit much. Sorry, but I do- but to each his own. However, I dress her really cute and she always has something she likes on that SHE is proud of (from an affordable store). We have gone over some "come backs" that will never get her into trouble but will make her feel good about herself and help her stand up for herself when they say things like "I shop at Justice and you don't".... she now says "I'm so happy for you!" with a little grin.... she has been practicing. I told her she will never get in trouble at school for telling another student she is happy for them but will always get into trouble for fighting. Deep down she knows what she means and that is all that counts.... She tried it and she came home and said the girls got so mad because they didn't get the reaction they wanted She was so proud of herself too.... Life lessons are tough but at least I am teaching her the right way to react right?
I would say that is a great response. Your daughter will be stronger for this lesson in the years to come. Once the little girls get over the fact that she won't give them the desired reaction, they'll be forced to decide whether they like her on her own merits. Not to mention, in this economy, who know where any of us will be purchasing our clothing in the year to come?
I see that sort of behavior regularly when my kids play with the neighbors, who go to school. Unfortunately, the socialization that kids are getting in school is not positive, in my experience and opinion, and needs to be constantly un-taught at home.
I see that sort of behavior regularly when my kids play with the neighbors, who go to school. Unfortunately, the socialization that kids are getting in school is not positive, in my experience and opinion, and needs to be constantly un-taught at home.
I guess what shocks me is that as a teacher, who taught K-8, I did not see this until the middle school. She is my first child to go through school... so it is all new to me... I guess there will be many more discussions and practice sessions on how to deal with such situations.... I just think it is a shame she has to grow up so fast She should not have to do this at six.....
Unfortunately, the socialization that kids are getting in school is not positive
I think that is an overgeneralization. There is good and bad to be gained in just about every situation. All socialization in school is not negative and something that needs to be "constantly untaught" - that's not any more of a fair statement than those who declare that "all homeschool kids are not properly socialized" - both are extreme views. In this case, while the situation is negative, a positive lesson can be derived from it. Her daughter is learning how to deal with a situation in a non-inflamatory way. My guess is that overall, the lesson will be positive.
The best thing is to not accept it and don't go along with it. That may force the child to associate with others that aren't being raised to be overly concerned about clothes but he/she will be better off in the end. By allowing a child to succumb to that kind of shallow peer pressure will only get the child a bunch of shallow empty friends.
I would agree with the person who suggested Goodwill and garage sales
I've found my girls beautiful clothes, sometimes with tags still on, at our local thrift store. The nearest Goodwill is an hour away, but it's in a more upscale area and has an even larger selection of name-brand clothes.
I think this is definately a regional thing. Growing up outside of NYC there was a lot of pressure to wear designer jeans and the latest fashions when I was growing up. Now, we live in rural Vermont where kids seem to be less label conscious although they still like to look fashionable.
My girls can care less about labels as long as the clothes are pretty and stylish. I just ordered my daughter three complete summer outfits and some pretty t-shirts for less than $50 at www.childrensplace.com. I'll round out her summer wardrobe with thrift store finds and a new bathing suit and she'll be quite happy.
My sister's kids still live in the NYC area and they're definately under a lot of pressure to shop at the "right" stores and wear cool clothes. The sad part is that my sister is underwater with her mortgage and in a great amount of credit card debt, yet she won't buy their clothes at Target or Khols because she doesn't want them to be embarassed.
They give their handmedowns to my kids and they are always barely worn and sometimes still have the sales tags on. They are only 10 and 11. In a few years I'll bet they'll be pressuring my sister to buy them $150 jeans and Kate Spade handbags.
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AT SIX??!!! I have had MANY a conversation about how inapporpriate and hurtful this is to others and she has promised to never participate in these conversations at school. So far she is one that can be swayed by these conversations with me and follows directions even when at school.... BUT how much longer is that going to last?
She was so proud of herself too.... Life lessons are tough but at least I am teaching her the right way to react right?
I would agree with the person who suggested Goodwill and garage sales
