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I don't think that's normal experimenting for a 5 year old. You really have to think about what your son's actions are portraying. That's not normal sex---boys don't think things go up their butts. It seems to me that you might have your head in the sand. If you call child services on the daycare center, your family very well might be investigated too---especially if your head is in the sand about your son being exposed to inappropriate treatment.
Well, I don't think girls think things go up their butts either. Her son could very well have learned that behavior from an older child at the daycare. These issues involve not only experimentation and learned behavior, but also lack of supervision. The daycare provider is being defensive, because she did not supervise the kids, and she is afraid this incident will reflect poorly on her and lose her some business. So she's going to spread rumors in order to keep the other parents there and keep her daycare running.
My son was once in a child care center where teachers were accusing kids of sexualized behavior. One parent was getting upset, saying he didn't want certain kids around his son. But I saw his son exhibiting some inappropriate behavior with my own eyes. Any other issues or molestation aside, close supervision can nip much if not most of this in the bud. Also, talking to your children about avoiding and reacting appropriately to these situations is very helpful.
OP, you did the right things in terms of removing your child and reporting the incident. At this point, I would take care of your son, making sure he's okay. I'd take him for a physical exam as well as counseling, for his own protection.
I don't think that's normal experimenting for a 5 year old. You really have to think about what your son's actions are portraying. That's not normal sex---boys don't think things go up their butts. It seems to me that you might have your head in the sand. If you call child services on the daycare center, your family very well might be investigated too---especially if your head is in the sand about your son being exposed to inappropriate treatment.
Agree. Yes it is true that children "experiment" but it usually doesn't involve such behaviors. He would have HAD to see this done or had it done to him.
And yes, the investigation would DEFINITELY involve the family as well.
Agree. Yes it is true that children "experiment" but it usually doesn't involve such behaviors. He would have HAD to see this done or had it done to him.
And yes, the investigation would DEFINITELY involve the family as well.
I would be concerned about the behavior too. Yes, young children are curious about their bodies. They will often touch themselves and look at themselves. They also like to compare their bodies if given the opportunity (like in the bathroom). However, the boy in the OP was acting out sexual behaviors that he had to learn somewhere. If I were the parent, I would want to know where he learned this.
I have pressed her caseworker to have a look into this matter and where I could start the investgating to my suprise she wanted to puxh everything under the rug and said she would should give the provider a verbal warning about having children watch movies in the basement when there is no second exit and also do a drop in visit. We had already started to look for another day care last week before this incident happened and had called a few. We now have our children enrolled in a regular day care center that is small but it has 2 providers there at all times. Why did we keep sending our children there after we noticed these things? I guess that is the question I keep asking myself.
I guess that when i think of it location and hours of operation had a lot to do with it for the time my husband and I have to be getting to work there are no other day cares open at that time. Also the cost and price were reasonable. also my sons bus would go there to pick him up and at other places the bus would not go.
This doesn't sound right. Definitely you did the right thing by taking your son out of that daycare however, you seem more interested in punishing the facility or childcare worker than finding out what's going on with your son. If you continue to focus your attention on the childcare worker and not where it should be, YOUR SON, then more than likely this behavior will continue and could only get worse.
As another poster said, children will explore their bodies as they grow up however, bending over and asking another child to stick his private in his butt That is "learned" behavior and indicative of something that he has seen, or worse, something that has been done to him by someone else
DO NOT assume that he picked this up from the childcare facility, although he could have. I'm saying that if you continue to focus on the childcare facility, you just might miss something elsewhere.
I have talked to my son about what happened he he has said that another kid told him to bend over and that he never said what the daycare provider said he did and that nobody has touched him and he learned this for one of the boys. The provider also told my sister whos son also used to go to this daycare until this incident happened a completely different story. She told my sister that the kids only had their pants down and were laying on the floor. So that is also alarming t =o me that the provider told me one story and told my sister another.
I'm looking for advice as in what to do now, who to believe, where to go from here? What to do for my son and also what to do about this provider. I was thinking therapy but other people that gave my advice said that they think that this would hurt my son rather than help.
We have always talked to my son about good touch bad touch and what to do since he was little due to things that happened in my childhood. I have told him that if anyone were to touch him that the police and us would keep him safe so since I have told him this should I involve the police? Maybe he would be more comfortable talking to someone else. We have tried to talk to him and have gotten alot out from him but he is resistant when we want to talk to him and he doesn't want to talk about it. Now he is only 5 yrs old so what should we do?
I'm looking for advice as in what to do now, who to believe, where to go from here? What to do for my son and also what to do about this provider. I was thinking therapy but other people that gave my advice said that they think that this would hurt my son rather than help.
I think it would be a good idea to get him some kind of counseling. As a parent, you don't want to do more damage than has been done to him already, he's apt to sense your extreme discomfort and worry.
I believe it should be investigated, but a third party professional might be the best to have involved - maybe your pediatrician could guide you what to do?
I'd be careful about telling many people around you at all because you don't want your child stigmatized and labeled but you may not want to try to deal with it all on your own.
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That is "learned" behavior and indicative of something that he has seen, or worse, something that has been done to him by someone else
