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Old 06-07-2009, 04:42 PM
 
850 posts, read 4,731,170 times
Reputation: 689

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Screaming and children making noise does not always equal bad parenting. Kids make noise. Kids scream. Kids are loud. MOST parents actually do teach them right and wrong and what's appropriate.

As someone else said, you can tell them something over and over again and use every trick in the book, but sometimes, if they want to do something, they do it, or often times, they just feel the impluse and run with it without even thinking about it first. Of course parents are there for guidance and discipline, but kids will be kids. Adults will be adults for that matter. People are people...everytime someone (adult or child) does something wrong or inappropriate, it's not all because of poor parenting. It's in our nature to test our limits and push our boundaries. It's no one's fault that it happens. And again, most people deal with it appropriately. You'll just likely notice the ones who don't more.

I'm very hesitant to comment on someone elses parenting, unless their being flat out neglectful or oblivious. Otherwise, I think every parent chooses how to best handle their children. It's all about picking and choosing your battles. And I also CAN'T STAND when people who don't have kids criticize parents for one thing or another. I can't expect it to be understood, but there's just something about having kids that changes everything about you and your opinions on the world, but until that moment happens, you can never begin to understand.

And on a side note, I was in the Lego store at Crabtree today when all of the sudden my almost 2 year old lets out a huge scream out of the blue. I think something scared him. Totally unexpected and I couldn't help but think of this thread. Surely I'm not a bad parent b/c my toddler chose that particular moment to use his voice. There's no reasoning with a barely 2 year old that it's not ok. And people should not be forced to stay inside their homes with their children in fear of being criticized by the public. Children are an integral part of our society and they deserve as many opportunities as we can give them. I think people need to be more tolerant all around and not stereotype every parent of a loud child as having poor parenting skills. I know one bad apple spoils the bunch, but just know that it really is the exception.
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Old 06-07-2009, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Raleigh, NC
1,561 posts, read 5,148,079 times
Reputation: 1167
bring out the duct tape!

seriously, though, i sympathize with the OP. my last apt every day from like 5pm till sundown this group of really cute little kids would gather in the courtyard below my window and happily shriek like banshees. sometimes with parents looking on, sometimes no one around. now i'm not going to go out there and make a stink for kids playing, but damn that got annoying really fast. i get home from work and just want to have a beer and watch tv and relax. glad everyone in the new place seems to be yuppies with no kids and lots of disposable income, so no one's ever home. ;-) it's like living in the country with better shopping.
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Old 06-07-2009, 05:27 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,117 posts, read 63,506,690 times
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Kids learn to scream when they do not get any response to lower decibel communication. When a kid gets it's needs met in a respectful way, it does not need to scream. You just picked a high density of unresponsive parents neighborhood.
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Old 06-07-2009, 05:28 PM
 
16,294 posts, read 28,451,212 times
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Uhhhhh as far as kids playing outside, it is absolutely completely normal, and I pretty darn sure that you did the same as a kid.

Now in restaurants, stores, etc., it isn't the kids, but the parents that have failed.
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Old 06-07-2009, 05:31 PM
 
Location: Cary, NC
2,135 posts, read 7,641,881 times
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What does this have to do with the Triangle?

No, I don't let my children scream...
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Old 06-07-2009, 06:05 PM
 
124 posts, read 292,330 times
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Agree, kids will be kids, there is a time and place for having fun and just enjoying life. I DO have kids and I would never let them disrupt someone else's dinner, outdoor time, whatever the case may be. Sure you pick and choose your battles, who cares if they wear purple socks with striped shorts and plaid shirts. But common courtesy to those around you is not the time to ignore bad behavior. Bottom line, not everyone thinks your little darlings are the be all and end all.
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Old 06-07-2009, 06:12 PM
 
Location: Back in the ROC
675 posts, read 1,829,548 times
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Nothing against anyone, but I think there's something to the old-school notion that children should be "seen but not heard."
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Old 06-07-2009, 06:37 PM
 
574 posts, read 1,206,501 times
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I think kids get overstimulated running around outside and screech. It annoys the crap out of me, so one screech would be enough for a reminder from me for my kids to NOT make that sound again or we were going inside. But I've been right by other parents who apparently were not affected by that sound. At all. I'm not sure if they had a hearing problem that allowed them to not hear those decibels or what, but I was somewhat dumbfounded how that did not drive them up a wall, like nails on a chalkboard! I guess if those parents never felt the need to tell their children how annoying it was, and let it go on and on...those kids would keep doing it. I'm sorry for their poor neighbors. It's not kids being kids, it's obnoxious and poor manners.
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Old 06-07-2009, 07:10 PM
 
850 posts, read 4,731,170 times
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I'm not disagreeing that obnoxious behavior shouldn't be dealt with and that there's a time and place for everything, I'm just saying that some of these comments are saying that the reason kids are screaming is b/c of poor parenting. I don't think that's true. Furthermore, I think screaming kids are the exception and it doesn't happen terribly frequently that all kids should get a bad rap.

Children seen and not heard? Do you have kids? Maybe I'm taking this too literally, not sure of your intent, but that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. To earn respect from my children, I have to give them respect. That's a completely disrespectful sentiment to all children. They are people, just like you and me. There are plenty of adults that I don't want to hear, but I respect them enough to exercise their freedom to say what they'd like.
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Old 06-07-2009, 07:15 PM
 
Location: under the beautiful Carolina blue
22,639 posts, read 36,603,028 times
Reputation: 19847
I think certain activities lend themselves to the kind of screeching OP is talking about - high on that list would be pools and sprinklers. Something about them leads to screaming. But if kids are outside playing a game like baseball, SPUD (remember SPUD?), hopscotch, or just riding their bikes, the fact is that there MAY be screaming, but most likely it's not going to be all-encompassing and ongoing. Those activities do not lend themselves to the kind of screeching the OP is talking about. The sounds of children just playing together is not what I think he is talking about. I just wonder what is going on with these kids, sounds like there may be a lot of teasing/tormenting going on. But the fact is telling kids not to be loud outside is like taking them to the park and telling them not to run and climb (and yes I've seen parents do this at the park, whilst breaking out the snacks and juice...what's the point?!)

Kids acting up indoors, in public....sometimes you have to wonder what parents are thinking. Maybe as two consenting adults you prefer to eat out at 7:30 on a Saturday night, but chances are, your kids are tired and cranky and over-hungry and won't behave. Going out to dinner with children requires going at an appropriate hour, even if it's not when YOU would like to eat. Last time DH and I took the kids to dinner we went at 4:30 - we were there before anyone else and out of there before the dinner crunch started and our kids were behaved because they weren't tired and low-blood-sugared. Screaming in Target, grocery stores, etc? - well sometimes you've just gotta get things done. In that situation, while no one wants to hear it, it's really not that big of a deal. It's 10 minutes out of your day while you run errands, and your ears won't start bleeding. We've all been children and we've all acted up at some point in public!
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