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My husband grew up in a military family, which included more than a dozen relocations before he graduated high school. I was born in Ohio and lived there until I was thirty. My husband and I have moved five times in the last ten years, and our children have moved four times. We are now settled in Colorado and suspect that we will be here long term.
On the plus side, my husband and children are extremely adaptable and social people. On the minus side, my husband says he feels rootless despite the fact that we now live in the same city as his parents. He didn't grow up here in Denver and never lived in the house his parents now inhabit.
My oldest child (age 10) still pines for the friends in the neighborhood where she was born, and she is absolutely vehement that she does not want to move again. My youngest (age 7) has little memory of life before we moved to Colorado three years ago.
Unlike my husband, I wouldn't mind moving again (if somebody else does the packing and unpacking!). Perhaps the difference is that I have a very strong sense of roots, while deep inside he's still searching for his place in the world.
I'm lucky in that I've had a job that doesn't require me to move and I made a decision to stay put and let my kids grow up in one place, one house, have their dogs, cats, horses and so on that would be difficult moving.
My kids always ask why we never moved, or when will we move. I think they'd see it as a big adventure, and of course to them it would probably be great fun, but it's me that doesn't want to have to pack up and load up everything, sell a house, buy another suitable place.
It's probably easier for kids to move when they have at least a couple siblings and there are probably many other factors that help a move -- factors like a similar church, similar school.
I was an army brat. What it does it gives you a great understanding of geography and different parts of the country or world and the people that live there. Thats the positive -- that your more worldy, which many kids are not. It matures you.
The negative is a lack of home base and lasting friendships. Upon adulthood they have only the friends that they probably had wherever your family was stationed last or when they left high school and as most of us know, those friends tend to fade away after graduation and real life starts.
My home became whereever my heart was. We spent most of our time on the West Coast, my parents grew up there, and my grandparents had there home there for decades, so the west coast became home to me, even though we travelled everywhere.
But I do wish I had made some lasting friendships. It was a lonely bachelorhood only having coworkers to social contacts. Every person is different though. Army brats were often outcasts and picked on, as such I became a loner and somewhat bitter to my peers. Alot of it is related to your child's personality though. Many Army brats make it work and turn out fine.
Not all army brats are picked on. There is always going to be that core group of people, no matter where you go or what you do, that is always going to do the: I've been here longer, I've worked here longer, I've known him/her/it longer.
Here, for all of the people who have never lived in one place this is my recollection of what is said living in a small town where there are big families and they have never moved.
"I really liked this guy and he was into me, but my mom told me we couldn't date because we were related." said by a 22 year old girl that is related to about half the town. I guess she is older than 22 now.
"He was such a dork in high school."
"He used to have hair back then."
"She was good lookin' but now she is huge."
"He used to date my wife, but I married her and he still has a problem with me."
"He was a high school wrestler but now he is drug addict and so are his brothers."
I think a good half a dozen keep diaries of whom every one else has dated. Sometimes there is a beef between people that has lasted since the 4th grade.
You mean no one remembers the guy/girl that was only there for a short time and likely never sees them again so they are free from future comments like those? lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pandamonium
Not all army brats are picked on. There is always going to be that core group of people, no matter where you go or what you do, that is always going to do the: I've been here longer, I've worked here longer, I've known him/her/it longer.
Here, for all of the people who have never lived in one place this is my recollection of what is said living in a small town where there are big families and they have never moved.
"I really liked this guy and he was into me, but my mom told me we couldn't date because we were related." said by a 22 year old girl that is related to about half the town. I guess she is older than 22 now.
"He was such a dork in high school."
"He used to have hair back then."
"She was good lookin' but now she is huge."
"He used to date my wife, but I married her and he still has a problem with me."
"He was a high school wrestler but now he is drug addict and so are his brothers."
I think a good half a dozen keep diaries of whom every one else has dated. Sometimes there is a beef between people that has lasted since the 4th grade.
The down side is that if you move to a small town then they make up what they don't know. They can get creative like that.
One of my most recent adventures in this small town was catching someone whom I don't know very well talking about me behind my back. I confronted her and she had the audacity to shift blame because I had never told her about myself. I mean she was really miffed. "Well, we just didn't know about you, because you just never said."
I'm thinking, we probably did not miss anything. It's just one of those the grass is always greener.
Not all army brats are picked on. There is always going to be that core group of people, no matter where you go or what you do, that is always going to do the: I've been here longer, I've worked here longer, I've known him/her/it longer.
Here, for all of the people who have never lived in one place this is my recollection of what is said living in a small town where there are big families and they have never moved.
"I really liked this guy and he was into me, but my mom told me we couldn't date because we were related." said by a 22 year old girl that is related to about half the town. I guess she is older than 22 now.
"He was such a dork in high school."
"He used to have hair back then."
"She was good lookin' but now she is huge."
"He used to date my wife, but I married her and he still has a problem with me."
"He was a high school wrestler but now he is drug addict and so are his brothers."
I think a good half a dozen keep diaries of whom every one else has dated. Sometimes there is a beef between people that has lasted since the 4th grade.
Do you feel better now?
This is hilarious! And also true. And also... even though we came from a big town, we also came from a huge family... and for some reason all my family lives within blocks of each other - some all on the same block! They are all meshed and involved in each others lives not so much in a supportive way but more in a sort of clingy, codependent, always snooping in and gossiping sort of way... and let me tell you... it felt like I grew up in a small town even though I was in a big one. It was so nice to move 1800 miles away. Now I'm actually in a tiny town, but it feels huge - because my relatives who smothered me my whole young life (and said many of the things that were said above!! I was laughing so hard!) aren't here!
Another thing about moving around... if you're from a smothering family like I was or from a very small town where people talk all the time... is that it gives you room to grow. Moving helps you learn more about yourself, and helps you see the world differently. It helps you see where you're from differently. Moving broadens your perspective on life in a way that staying in one place just can't. Even traveling, visiting... these things are helpful and good, but it's different actually moving to and living someplace new for awhile.
My husband and his brother were PK (preacher's kids) and moved quite a bit. My husband, who is 66, was never really bothered by it. His brother, on the other hand is age 63 and still suffers from the unhumanity of it (NOT). He thinks all his problems he has ever had stems from having to move and still tells his parents (who are 90 and 92) that he was scarred for life.
His poor elderly parents.....guess they are tired of hearing about it by now!
LOL! I think so, too! There does come a point in everyone's life when we've got to play the hand we're dealt. My job as a parent is to make that hand as favorable as possible...and that may even mean putting a few more 3 of clubs in there and not so many aces of spades. A child doesn't need the "perfect childhood" to have a great childhood, ya know? As I'm learning through all the parents I meet in so many different cities and states and cultural backgrounds....we all love our kids. We hate it when they're hurt, and we'd do just about anything to protect them from the sadness they feel. But most parents recognize that's not only impractical...it's doing them a disservice. A child needs to understand an occassional level of loss inside the structure of his or her supportive family...even though it is heartbreaking...so that child will be prepared to deal with it as an adult. They say disappointment builds character (although my son will tell you he's got more character than Mt. Rushmore!)
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I doubt it. 
It was so nice to move 1800 miles away. Now I'm actually in a tiny town, but it feels huge - because my relatives who smothered me my whole young life (and said many of the things that were said above!! I was laughing so hard!) aren't here! 
