When you say spanking, how? (weight, child, two year old, diapers)

[sskkc]

As a child, my mother "spanked" us using a belt on our bare butts until her arm wore out or the police arrived.

We do spank our kids too. With an open hand or a willow back scratcher/wooden spoon. One swat for every year they are old.

My grandmother told me that HER mother used a cat o'nine tail on her and her sister!

BTW... we never spank in front of someone else. It's in a room with either myself or dh and the child, door closed.

[spanko75]

Originally Posted by sskkc

As a child, my mother "spanked" us using a belt on our bare butts until her arm wore out or the police arrived.

We do spank our kids too. With an open hand or a willow back scratcher/wooden spoon. One swat for every year they are old.

My grandmother told me that HER mother used a cat o'nine tail on her and her sister!

BTW... we never spank in front of someone else. It's in a room with either myself or dh and the child, door closed.

Yes, spank seems so light. When our parents said they were going to "Wear you out" that's exactly what they meant, and they followed through.

[djacques]

Originally Posted by 2mares

Spanking never helped my nephew, but he spent a lot of days in time out.

If that's the case, I guess time out didn't help much either?

[MrMom2]

We stopped time out after 6 years old.

He's too physically destructive now to send off somewhere alone to cool off for too long.

[PDeverit]

Just another good point. If you ask ten pro-spankers to describe a "reasonable and moderate spanking", you will hear ten different, conflicting descriptions. What any one spanker assumes is reasonable and moderate, the other nine will find fault with. It's the same with many unhealthy habits, (smoking, drinking and driving, spousal abuse). Here are just a few of the sticking points:

1.What is the earliest age at which a child/infant may be spanked?

2. What is the oldest age?

3. Should you hit the bare or clothed bottom?

4. Should it be done only in private or immediately after the offense?

5.Should the hitter use only the bare hand so as to get "instant feedback", or never use the hand, but rather a "neutral" object, e.g., paddle, belt, hairbrush, etc.?

6.Should spanking leave marks? If so, how long should the marks last, and should the marks on a fair skinned child be assessed differently than on a dark-skinned child?

7. Should you hit them until they cry?

8.Should a child be spanked for crying?

9.Should girls be spanked differently than boys?

10.Should boyfriends of single moms be authorized to spank cranky infants?

11.Should stepdads have free rein to spank disobedient teenage stepdaughters?


Not sure why people would prefer child buttock-battering over learning how to discipline instead. I've heard the Bible come up a lot, but they use the same selective literalism as those who tenaciously held onto slavery, witch burning, oppression of women etc. as biblicly supported. Even Shakespeare said "The devil can cite scripture for his purposes".

[djacques]

Originally Posted by PDeverit

Just another good point. If you ask ten pro-spankers to describe a "reasonable and moderate spanking", you will hear ten different, conflicting descriptions. What any one spanker assumes is reasonable and moderate, the other nine will find fault with. It's the same with many unhealthy habits, (smoking, drinking and driving, spousal abuse).

Let's see how this logic holds up if you change a few terms:

If you ask ten steak enthusiasts what's the best way to prepare a steak, they will give ten conflicting descriptions. There is therefore something suspect about eating steak.

[Belinda_Cooperstone1]

Originally Posted by Liza54

Whenever I'm reading the ever popular ( or unpopular ) and heated threads about spanking- whether you do or not, how old, etc- I wonder what folks mean exactly.
I was spanked mostly by my father across his lap, pants down. I found it terrifying and humiliating and can't imagine all these parents do the same. I can't imagine what it would be like to have my kids squirm in fear as I try to hold them down and pull their pants down.
Is this what is generally considered a 'spanking' these days...pants down, across the lap?? Or is this in the olden' days??
I know everyone's got their opinion, just not sure what is considered a spanking exactly..

Let me tell you, IF I needed a spanking as a child it was with the pants down, and I can tell you I did not do that behavior again as I did not want a repeat. With my girls it was different as it seems the whole community has a say now. But I would give them a tap on the butt if they needed it.

[Liza54]

Me either- I was terrified of my dad! I will attest to the fact there are different types of kids- I was super sensitive and definitely would've gotten the idea w/ words. I hated disappointing or making folks mad. I definitely didn't need that whole spanking ordeal. Just made me stay away from my dad, barely spoke to him- first from being afraid, later from being so distant from him.
Perhaps you just need to know what type of kid your dealing with, to imagine what it really means to them. Some kids ( especially boys I think) couldn't care less. Others it is significant ( and not good ) childhood memories.

[strawflower]

We spank our kids (though they're getting a little old for spankings) with LOVE. We're not doing it in anger, we're doing it because we're trying to stop the behavior and train them to be obedient. We don't just spank spur of the moment, right after the offense. First of all we always take the child to their room, and talk to them about WHY they're getting the spanking. They must tell us first what they did wrong so they realize that mom or dad isn't just spanking them to be mean, we're doing it because the child disobeyed and needs to be punished. We ask our kids how they want to be spanked (son preferred to stand up, other son preferred laying over my lap, etc.) and follow through. We spank on the CLOTHED bottom. Our purpose of spanking isn't to hurt them, its to teach them. Or or warning will be on the palm or the back of the leg. Just like we do in time-outs, the number of spanks is however old they are. I know some people are sooooo against corporal punishment, saying it makes them ''violent and angry'' but I guess my kids prove that wrong. They're turning out pretty great, I have good relationships with all of them, and while the spanking may have mad them angry at the time they were being spanked (doesn't all discipline?) they are DEFINATLEY not angry for life because of getting spanked.

[DoveDiva]

We spank open handed,fully-clothed, after ALL consequences have been exhausted. I usually tap him on the bottom or the leg real quick, make him sit on the couch, and after about 5 minutes or so talk about what he did and why he got spanked.

We really don't have to use it often--this year alone, I think my son (he just turned 4 this summer) was spanked maybe, 2 or 3 times. When he's doing something wrong, telling him to quit (and raising our voice or taking away rewards if he doesn't get it the first time) usually works.