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I let mine know that for their 18th birthday, I was giving them a suitcase and would help them pack.. If they had no place to go, they WOULD have a job and WOULD pay rent....and by age 19, the locks would be changed.
I worked at a high school and would see kids in town that graduated 3, 4, 5 years ago and asked what they were doing now and so many of them would still be living with Mama and not working.. I let mine know this was NOT going to happen with me.
I will let them stay through college because I know it's hard to afford to live and actually do well in school but I can't see them even wanting to stay with me anymore if they get a job. They can't wait to move out and have their freedom. But, an education comes first! I don't want them to drop out of college to work because then they will be back at my door wanting to come in. lol Need that degree so that my poor house looks unappealing. lol
Location: Finally escaped The People's Republic of California
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Well along time ago my Dad said if I wasn't in school I needed a job, when I got the job he started charging me rent, He would charge me half my paycheck, He said it took half his check to make the mortgage payment, so he felt that was fair. It didin't take much math to figure out that I could rent an apartment for about the same price.
The day I moved, he helped me load up all my stuff in his truck and unload it at my new apt. then he handed me an envelope that had the rent money I had paid to him, and said "buy yourself some furniture"...............
I did the same exact thing for my daughter, it works fine.............
Well along time ago my Dad said if I wasn't in school I needed a job, when I got the job he started charging me rent, He would charge me half my paycheck, He said it took half his check to make the mortgage payment, so he felt that was fair. It didin't take much math to figure out that I could rent an apartment for about the same price.
The day I moved, he helped me load up all my stuff in his truck and unload it at my new apt. then he handed me an envelope that had the rent money I had paid to him, and said "buy yourself some furniture"...............
I did the same exact thing for my daughter, it works fine.............
Now THIS is some wise and loving parenting. Making children lifelong dependents is not a loving thing to do.
In Europe it is common to have grown up kids living at home. That was the same in ancient Jewish culture, it was usually expected that the sons and daughters would live at home until they get married. but the kids are still working and living life normally.
I don't think it's right the way sons and daughters are treated in America. why would you want your son or daughter to live alone in their 20's when they're not married ? there have been more people ruined because of that than helped by becoming more independant. maintaining a close relationship with your family is a lot more valuable than anything that would be gained by being forced out. if the kids aren't doing anything why don't the parents help them out ? even if you have to lead them by the hand, once they get on their feet with a job, maybe back in school to take something that leads to a job within a year, that's the biggest investment a parent can provide today. parents are just as lazy as those kids who aren't doing anything. the ones who think age 20 means kicking them of the house are not parents. those are usually the parents who when they reach 60 or 70 wonder why their children to talk to them anymore. rarely do you see that happen in Europe where families are strong, everyone's accountable to each other.
I have 4 kids ranging in age from 23 to 7 and the 3 oldest all moved out by the time they were 18. They can come visit but no living with me.
She is enabling them to be sponges and if she wants 2 grown men who will always fail at life she will continue to support this lifestyle.
In Europe it is common to have grown up kids living at home. That was the same in ancient Jewish culture, it was usually expected that the sons and daughters would live at home until they get married. but the kids are still working and living life normally.
I don't think it's right the way sons and daughters are treated in America. why would you want your son or daughter to live alone in their 20's when they're not married ? there have been more people ruined because of that than helped by becoming more independant. maintaining a close relationship with your family is a lot more valuable than anything that would be gained by being forced out. if the kids aren't doing anything why don't the parents help them out ? even if you have to lead them by the hand, once they get on their feet with a job, maybe back in school to take something that leads to a job within a year, that's the biggest investment a parent can provide today. parents are just as lazy as those kids who aren't doing anything. the ones who think age 20 means kicking them of the house are not parents. those are usually the parents who when they reach 60 or 70 wonder why their children to talk to them anymore. rarely do you see that happen in Europe where families are strong, everyone's accountable to each other.
Exactly, great post my friend. Latin America is like that too.
Ya see America and Americans can be real cruel, even to there own family members.
Why even have a child if all your gonna do is count down the days to there 18th birthday to kick them out.
You might need your kids back one day when your old and disabled and reach the stage in life where you forget your own name and need your pampers changed or simply to drive you places or help out around the house if your not among the wealthy who can afford assisted living.
Im not saying its right to not encourage them to find meaningful employment or schooling, but throwing them on there own with nothing is a horrible thing to do. Times are harder then ever now. Some grown adults are having to ask there kids for help these days.
That is one of the main reasons why I will never ever be a Father. I do not want the responsibility of raising a kid and dont want to have be taking care of them forever. I wouldnt be cruel enough to say "your 22 get out you cant come back"
This is one the main reasons late teens and young adults turn to selling drugs or prostitution or stripping, is because they have parents who brought them into this world forcing them out before there ready.
I agree, its that general attitude that leaves some older folks in there 70s old and bitter as to why there chilidren dont want anything to do with them anymore.
America can be a real cruel place. Sickening at times.
I raised my children to be responsible, independent adults. I wasn't raising children. I was raising people. All 3 graduated college, have good homes and families, are successful, and are very close to me and to each other. I wasn't raising them to nursemaid me. I was raising them to have good lives and be of benefit to their families and their communities. Being perpetual children is not good for anyone involved.
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