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Old 07-26-2009, 06:11 PM
 
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How about a little different tactic? Make it so the TV suddenly doesn't work right before the next dinner time. Oh darn. What can you do.....hehehe
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Old 07-26-2009, 06:12 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jtur88 View Post
Maybe dinner is not the issue, TV is. Is TV so centralized as a fixture in their lives that they can't walk away from it for 30 minutes?
Really, it isn't. That's the odd thing. During the day, they're both outside playing most of the time...rarely in-front of the TV. During the evening around dinner time is when they (the 7-yo especially) really lock-in on the TV.

The 7-yo has rebelled recently on other issues too...usually standing my ground ends the "revolt". But, the little fella's got his heels dug in on this one.
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Old 07-26-2009, 06:14 PM
 
Location: In the real world!
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TO MANY families sit in front of the TV for meals. I also was raised that we all sat at the table. I go to one of my kids houses to eat and I end up sitting at the table alone while I eat, they were all required to sit at the table and meals were eaten as a family!
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Old 07-26-2009, 06:14 PM
 
106 posts, read 382,002 times
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Originally Posted by hypocore View Post
How about a little different tactic? Make it so the TV suddenly doesn't work right before the next dinner time. Oh darn. What can you do.....hehehe
...that might give us one day of rest...i'll take it.
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Old 07-26-2009, 08:21 PM
 
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Originally Posted by VBmom View Post
I was a single mom for 3 years and I have to admit I was so tired some nights that I could have cared less where we ate. Some nights it was struggle enough to just get food out much less have everyone eat around the table.
When I remarried my older two were 5 and 8. It was a struggle to get them back to the table every night. Instead of making it an issue every evening, we started out by saying the new rule is that we will all sit down together on Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday. No exceptions. They balked a little at first but it worked. After a few months they started enjoying dinner at the table. The older two are now 20 and 17 and it is rare that we are all home at the same time for dinner but when we are they always want to sit at the table.

Take it in stages and don't push too hard. They will come around. On whatever nights you chose, make in non-negotiable. Either you eat at the table or you don't eat. It usually only takes one or two nights of going to bed hungry to make one a little more understanding of the rules. Oh, and make sure you and your wife are both in agreement on this (and everything else for that matter). The old "divide and conquer" is a killer in a blended family. Stay on the same page and the kids will come around.

We've always had dinner together at the dinner table but this seems to be a great idea for compromise, since they were allowed to do it before.

A nice idea would be to say 3 or 4 nights a week we will sit at the dinner table and eat with no TV and you could even let the 7yr old pick the days to make him/her feel like he has a say in this decision. I would make it set days though because otherwise it's easier for old habits to creep back in. I also think eventually it will become routine to just do it every night.
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Old 07-26-2009, 08:34 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
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A couple of decades ago, the University of Nebraska circulated a questionnaire to kids all over the state, with about 100 questions on it, trying to see if there was a correlation between good academic performance and other characteristics of daily life. They found only one area where there was a correlation. Families ate meals together.
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Old 07-26-2009, 09:18 PM
 
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My oldest never wanted to sit at the table either (she was strong willed then, and still is), so I had to pick my battles carefully. I found that involving her in the preparation of meals helped. She got to toss the salad, set the table (whatever was age appropriate) and I would let her make name tags for each person sitting at the table or pick out napkin rings to use. I just tried to make meal time fun and something she looked forward to. In time she was the first one at the table and yelling for everybody else to join her.
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Old 07-26-2009, 09:28 PM
 
Location: SE Florida
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Originally Posted by jbar View Post
As i've mentioned in other posts, my wife and I married a couple of months ago and she has two boys - 4 & 7 - whom i've known for several years, although I just officially took the "daddy" title.

They've always had the habit of eating dinner in front of the TV kind of cafeteria style, but I really think everyone should eat together at the dinner table. My family did that growing up and I have memories of that "family time" without the TV glaring cartoons or a sitcom in the background.

I've begun trying to implement this new policy to mixed reviews Their mom has been supportive and the 4-year-old deals with it, although he does inject some occasional pouting as a show of his displeasure.

The 7-year-old tends to be a bit more protesting, even to the point that he won't eat if there's something on he wants to watch. I make him sit there, but he's pretty strong-willed. I even DVR whatever they're missing so they can watch it later, but still there's pouting and protesting.

So, some advice would be welcomed....anyone have similar dinner table battles? Am I being excessively strict? Should I just forget the table thing? I think it may become a real "line in the sand" kind of discipline issue, which really wasn't my intent...i'd just like everyone to have dinner together...seems so simple

NO! Don't forget it! The kids are 4 and 7. You and your wife are the parents. Just change the rules. Dinner at a table. Period. If they behave, they may see X number of hours of TV. If not, they get no TV. You are the parents. They are the children. If you don't set the rules now, it will only get worse. I think they will end up liking it, as you can talk about their day, focus on them and the family. You will not regret it. And they will be the better for it.

BTW, if the 7 YO refuses to eat, so be it. One or two nights of not eating won't kill him. To win the game, you just have to outlast him. He won't not eat to the point of starvation. Hang tough. Win the game now and the future will be sooooo much easier! And it will be better for the kids.
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Old 07-26-2009, 10:28 PM
 
Location: Victoria TX
42,579 posts, read 86,675,074 times
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If you are a religious or a spiritual family, you might establish a ritual of saying Grace before meals, and require attendance at the table. Or, even if atheists, everyone join hands at the table before eating, as a symbol of your togetherness. Children often respond quite positively to ritualized pageantry.
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Old 07-26-2009, 10:39 PM
 
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What works for us is having an activity at the table. Our 7-year-old loves jokes and riddles, so we bought an Usborne Card Deck called Hundreds of Silly Jokes that we pass out at mealtime. We take turns sharing and guessing the answers. It keeps the mood light and fun for mealtime, and the whole family looks forward to it.
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