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My oldest son, when he was three, asked his father to buy him something at the store. My husband said, "No, we don't have enough money for that right now." My son then asked, "Is it because mommy holds the purse [strings] and she doesn't let you?"
Again my oldest son in the supermarket with his unfortunate father, in the feminine products aisle. My husband trying to remember which tampons I wanted. My son said to the woman next to them, "My mom's got blood again, and my dad doesn't know which stuff to get to stop it."
My oldest son when he was five and I was pregnant with his brother did not believe I had a baby in my belly. He came to the 20 week ultrasound with us. The next day he went to school with the ultrasound picture for show and tell. He told the class, "I know my mom's really got a baby in her belly now because he saw it on TV!"
My oldest son when I was pregnant wanted to know where babies came from, since I am an OB nurse I told him the truth, matter of factly with pictures and all. When another little girl at school told her classmates that her mom said you go to the hospital and pick up your baby, my son corrected her with, "No my mom told me they come out the "gina" if they fit and get cut out if they don't"... - got some phone calls after that one.
My nephew when he was four years old went swimming at the local pool with my husband, son and his father. They went into the men's locker room. There my nephew looked around in awe of all the naked men, after all he had never seen so many at one time before. He was especially fixated on one man right next to his father. He looked at his dad and asked, "Why is his penis sooooooo much bigger than yours daddy?" His dad, now beet red of course, answered, "God gives some men more than others, we are all different." My nephew then said, "I guess you didn't pray that much when you were a kid, did you dad?" With that everyone within earshot cracked up.
My youngest son to my sister on a recent visit. My sister asked, "How is Tae Kwon Do going with your dad?" My son's reply, "Oh he's just ignoring it and paying for it anyway." Obviously he overheard our conversation a few days earlier about this very topic.
My youngest son again, to his father. "You know dad you should just do what mom says, she's always right anyway." - obvious his hearing has improved much since getting tubes in his ears, we have taken up whispering now.
My youngest son after my wedding rings were stolen (he was three) presented me with a plastic spider ring from Halloween and told me when he grew up he was going to marry me and get me much bigger rings than daddy had given me.
And the most recent from my youngest son, "Why do I have to go to school when I'm never leaving home anyway?."
I think it is the boys that really say the funniest stuff, I'm sure I could think of many but there is one that has always stuck out in my memory...
I am too shy to go into detail so you will have to use your imagination a little to get this one... several years ago while bathing my twin boys, (3yrs old at the time) asked me "What's in there mom? Is it chicken nuggets?" I was dumb founded how they came up with that and held back much laughter trying to explain what was in there.
Oh my niece and my son (this was when my niece was 4 1/2 and son was 3) took a bath together for the first time...They were happily playing in the tub with toys until suddenly my son yelled, "Mommy come quick!" (I was in the hallway folding towels watching them, but he couldn't see me) and I said "what's the matter?!?" ...Well he replied, "Anna's ding ding fell off and we have to find it before it goes down the pipes!" -- That prompted the discussion of the physical difference between girls and boys...LOL
I think it is the boys that really say the funniest stuff, I'm sure I could think of many but there is one that has always stuck out in my memory...
I am too shy to go into detail so you will have to use your imagination a little to get this one... several years ago while bathing my twin boys, (3yrs old at the time) asked me "What's in there mom? Is it chicken nuggets?" I was dumb founded how they came up with that and held back much laughter trying to explain what was in there.
I think kids say the funniest stuff, but having all boys, save my one niece, in the family I may have to agree that the boys do come up with some of the funniest.
My nephew (almost 2 years old) was bathing with his dad and he had his hands under the water. All of a sudden he goes "What's dis?" His dad said I don't know since his hands were under water and tells him to stand up. My nephew stands up and there is nothing in his hands. So he sits back down in the water and yells "WHAT'S DIS?!?!?!" So his father says to hold it up. Yeah, he about ripped his test.icles off by trying to stand up. He had one nut in his fingers going WHAAAT'S DISSSS????
We homeschool and recently I was teaching them about Kidney function, well when we were done and I was watching them play with some neighborhorhood children one of my boys tells this cute little 6year old girl "You know you have kidneys inside you."
She quickly replied with "No I don't!"
He went on to explain "Yes you do! If you didn't you would DIE!"
I was babysitting my nephew over the weekend, and he made me laugh with this one. His mom got a speeding ticket last week while he was in the car, so he was asking me questions about police, and he asked, "Why do you have to stop when a police car is behind you with lights flashing?" I said, "Because the law says so." He replied, "The law also says police are stupid." Um, I wish.
One of my favorites came from my niece. My (childless) sister hasn't really figured out what isn't appropriate to talk about around kids, and she told a joke with the word sphincter in it. Our niece was in the room and immediately asked what a sphincter is, only she couldn't really pronounce it, she said it like "finxster". Later she came up to me and said, "I'm going to have a band when I'm older." I said, "Oh, that's interesting." She said, "Do you know what I'm going to name it? Finxster muscle!"
I had four kids and nine grandkids, so I could write a book!!One day I had my two youngest girls at the grocery store. The youngest (just under three) pocketed a pack of gum. I saw her do it and gave her a big lecture and made her tell the cashier what she had done. She cried from embarrassment all the way to the car. The oldest girl(just under four )whispered to her sister,"Don't cry sissy, I have gum in my panties!"...Back tothe grocery store we marched!!
I had four kids and nine grandkids, so I could write a book!!One day I had my two youngest girls at the grocery store. The youngest (just under three) pocketed a pack of gum. I saw her do it and gave her a big lecture and made her tell the cashier what she had done. She cried from embarrassment all the way to the car. The oldest girl(just under four )whispered to her sister,"Don't cry sissy, I have gum in my panties!"...Back tothe grocery store we marched!!
OMG! I laughed so hard when I read this! Good for you taking them back.
My 4 year old niece was on the toilet and scream Auntie I can't go. I replied why? She said it's holding on for dear life. (funny, it was a #2)
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