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which is why the lick the soap deal is so effective .. soon as the words started it shoulda been done .. the parents will get a second chance I am sure .. let the kid get by with this is wrong as well .. what is mom gonna do when the kid turns 13 and stands up and tell her to shut the "F" up? cry?
Being a good parent requires a back bone and self control and knowing when the line has been crossed
Yes soap at this age can work. In my family growing up we were not allowed to bully or abuse each other. Use of certain words was sure to bring on the soap.
This child is also hitting his sibling - so it's pretty clear the style of discipline is not working at all. My kids also did not hit each other, they feared the wrath of the parents too much, they understood early on the violence and abuse of family members was not acceptable.
How is she teaching him that it is okay to be emotionally abusive? She put him in time out and told him his behavior and language were unacceptable. That seems a perfectly reasonable discipline method for a five-year-old. What would you suggest? (Never mind, I just saw your previous post about the soap.)
I reread the thread to see if there was any mention that this type of language was a chronic problem, and I didn't find any indication that he had ever before talked to his mother this way. As far as the hitting, we have very little information about how that came about. Therefore, I think those of you who already have him pegged as an out-of-control adolescent are jumping the gun a bit.
Yes soap at this age can work. In my family growing up we were not allowed to bully or abuse each other. Use of certain words was sure to bring on the soap.
This child is also hitting his sibling - so it's pretty clear the style of discipline is not working at all. My kids also did not hit each other, they feared the wrath of the parents too much, they understood early on the violence and abuse of family members was not acceptable.
How is she teaching him that it is okay to be emotionally abusive? She put him in time out and told him his behavior and language were unacceptable. That seems a perfectly reasonable discipline method for a five-year-old. What would you suggest? (Never mind, I just saw your previous post about the soap.)
I reread the thread to see if there was any mention that this type of language was a chronic problem, and I didn't find any indication that he had ever before talked to his mother this way. As far as the hitting, we have very little information about how that came about. Therefore, I think those of you who already have him pegged as an out-of-control adolescent are jumping the gun a bit.
I somehow doubt this was the first time this 5 year old has hit his sibling or someone else and that threatening to stab his mother and cut up her stomach is the very first abusive thing he's ever said.
I have a feeling that the only thing done is some little "time out" and so the behavior continues and worsens.
When punishing a child, it's perfectly fine to use a time out and if that works on that child, then great. That's all you need.
I'm saying all children are not the same. Children are different. You can have a child that needs no swat on the butt their whole childhood, and maybe one time out is all they'll ever need. That's great and I'm sure all of us have had or seen children like that - extremely easy going, easy to raise. It's the luck of the draw though.
It boils down to respect. The child is behaving disrespectfully. If there is no reason for him to stop, he will continue to do so. You can blame TV, friends, even sunspots, but the reality is that a child needs to be taught that this is unacceptable before it becomes a habit.
I somehow doubt this was the first time this 5 year old has hit his sibling or someone else and that threatening to stab his mother and cut up her stomach is the very first abusive thing he's ever said.
Why do you "somehow doubt" that? The OP said the child was normally a well behaved child and the mom was upset. That doesn't sound to me like it was everyday behavior. Sometimes even good kids will try something out. They do it for any number of reasons and sometimes for no reason at all. If it is representative of typical behavior then there could certainly be a problem but it didn't sound like that from the OP.....
Why do you "somehow doubt" that? The OP said the child was normally a well behaved child and the mom was upset. That doesn't sound to me like it was everyday behavior. Sometimes even good kids will try something out. They do it for any number of reasons and sometimes for no reason at all. If it is representative of typical behavior then there could certainly be a problem but it didn't sound like that from the OP.....
Exactly! There is so much presumptuousness on this thread, I hardly know where to begin. You can doubt all you want, Malamute, but we have very few facts from which to draw.
I think the best discipline is early, often, and non-violent.
A 5 year old threatening physical violence against his mother is not normal, not cute, should not be seen as acceptable.
I'm reading that the OP said this child was observed to hit his brother and threaten the mother wish serious violence. Where's the presumption in that??
It's highly unlikely that this child has been a good calm child 100% of the time - he likely is as long as he has his own way but by 5 years of age, a child should not be hitting other children, and it's not likely he's gone 5 years playing well and suddenly became abusive.
By 5 years of age, if he's hitting siblings, he has some real problems and they're not being addressed. Yes early on is the best time to address it. By age 2, they should have learned they will not hit siblings.
Not all good children are calm. He is 5. He is still learning inpulse control. Siblings sometimes get into it either verbally or physcially. Of course this is not acceptable but it was being handled. You are honestly saying that any kid over the age of 2 who occasionally takes a swat at his brother has "some real problems"? Well, that would most likely include a very very large segment of the population.
If a child makes threats like that at school, he's likely to get himself expelled. Even if he's only 5. His parents need to take this seriously.
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