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Not all good children are calm. He is 5. He is still learning inpulse control. Siblings sometimes get into it either verbally or physcially. Of course this is not acceptable but it was being handled. You are honestly saying that any kid over the age of 2 who occasionally takes a swat at his brother has "some real problems"? Well, that would most likely include a very very large segment of the population.
Yes I think a 5 year old hitting a sibling has some real problems. He's/she's obviously learned that they can get a way with physically abusing a sibling.
I don't believe that any children in a family should suffer physical violence from any other child in that family. Of course a 2 year or even 3 year old might try biting or smacking another child but that's the age it needs to stop.
I'm confused. Where did you get the impression that any of us think his behavior is acceptable? Of course, I don't think his behavior is acceptable; however, I don't think it is necessarily abnormal. He definitely needs discipline, and I think the mother is aware of that and working on it.
As far as hitting between siblings, I suspect you must not have any. Brothers and sisters squabble all time, only to turn around and curl up together fifteen minutes later. It's completely normal!
common sense and a backbone arent magically gifted to us when we become parents .. we are so afraid of our kids not likeling us, and society disproval that we are no longer effective parents .. if you notice I didnt say pop the kid in the chops for the mouthing .. I did say lick the soap .. Mom shoulda jumped up and taken the kid to the bathroom and given him a treatment soon as he said those things .. He needs to learn the limits now .. Respect for mom is something he lacks and will always lack untill she does some kinda smackdown on him
this is not a stage that if you ignore he will get thru it.
many are just waiting for sufficient size and motor control to execute the program.
add 10 years then go watch at juvi hall.
I'm confused. Where did you get the impression that any of us think his behavior is acceptable? Of course, I don't think his behavior is acceptable; however, I don't think it is necessarily abnormal. He definitely needs discipline, and I think the mother is aware of that and working on it.
As far as hitting between siblings, I suspect you must not have any. Brothers and sisters squabble all time, only to turn around and curl up together fifteen minutes later. It's completely normal!
I came from a family of 7 - very close in age. I have 6 children who are not allowed to assault one another. In my family squabbling is fine, hitting, biting, kicking, beating is not. No, I do not believe it is normal for a 5 year old to be slugging a sibling, he may not be mentally ill but he is not being disciplined in a way that changes poor and abusive behavior. Age 5 is getting a little long in the tooth to be learning you don't hit and threaten to kill family members.
Of course they shouldn't suffer physical violence and of course they should be taught that it is not acceptable but I think you're going overboard with your generalizing that ANY child who gets into it with their sibling over the age of 2 or three has "problems"....JMO though..My husband grew up with a brother very close to his same age - they used to have some real whoppers as they grew up. They are both normal, well adjusted, successful and gentle adults. No "real issues"....my son's friends who have brothers - they wrestle and battle frequently and they all are just fine....
Please allow me to point out that just because a parent doesn't embrace the soap approach, it doesn't mean he or she is a pushover. My husband finds the idea of soap licking appalling, but he is a very strict disciplinarian.
Another poster pointed out the importance of a father's role in all this. I agree. I think it is essential that a father model respectful behavior toward a mother and take an active role in discipline.
I came from a family of 7 - very close in age. I have 6 children who are not allowed to assault one another. In my family squabbling is fine, hitting, biting, kicking, beating is not. No, I do not believe it is normal for a 5 year old to be slugging a sibling, he may not be mentally ill but he is not being disciplined in a way that changes poor and abusive behavior. Age 5 is getting a little long in the tooth to be learning you don't hit and threaten to kill.
So now we've decided that the 5 yo. in questions was "slugging" ? wow.
And perhaps "squabbling" could be considered emotional abuse....
So now we've decided that the 5 yo. in questions was "slugging" ? wow.
And perhaps "squabbling" could be considered emotional abuse....
We are all entitled to our own opinions and what we believe is acceptable behavior within a family.
If you want to allow your children to smack each other around, that's up to you, I do not allow my children to hit one another. I view the home as a sanctuary -- no one is allowed to be a victim of anyone living in the home. Arguing one on one is not abusive, but verbal abuse is not tolerated from anyone in my home.
I'm giving my advice, you are free to give yours. We're both free to explain why also. And no -- I do not believe "time-outs" are working in this child's case, and a time out for threatening to kill a parent after a time-out for hitting another child to me shows the time out approach isn't doing the trick.
Of course they shouldn't suffer physical violence and of course they should be taught that it is not acceptable but I think you're going overboard with your generalizing that ANY child who gets into it with their sibling over the age of 2 or three has "problems"....JMO though..My husband grew up with a brother very close to his same age - they used to have some real whoppers as they grew up. They are both normal, well adjusted, successful and gentle adults. No "real issues"....my son's friends who have brothers - they wrestle and battle frequently and they all are just fine....
So did my brother and I, and my parents broke it up before it got out of hand and required that we apologize to each other, which we did, although it was often grudgingly. As adults, my brother and I are very close, and we often laugh about our childhood battles. It's a parent's job to intervene and send the kids to opposite corners until calm prevails. A frustrated swat between siblings is not physical abuse, and it doesn't mean that a child needs to be packed off to juvenile hall. Any parent with a lick of discernment can tell the difference between physical abuse and normal sibling squabbles.
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So now we've decided that the 5 yo. in questions was slugging?
I had the same thought. There's just not enough information in the original post to draw that conclusion.
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