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Having read some of the comments, I DO agree that there needs to be something to keep kids occupied...they shouldn't be expected to sit there with their hands in their laps, acting maturely and quietly waiting for their food to come for an hour at a restaurant.
On the flip side, there are tons of parents who allow their kids to run all over a restaurant and that's even more annoying! My kids color with those little handouts they bring to the table for kids. That doesn't mean we don't have a conversation as she's coloring.
No one said that you shouldn't find something to occupy your kids' time while out in public. But there is a line being drawn of people whose children can't occupy themselves for even 10 minutes on their own without technology. Think of how many parents put the DVD player on for their drive to school! Even neighborhood kids who don't live more than a 5 minute drive away. They can't occupy themselves without Dora the Explorer for a 5 minute drive to school?
I don't think it's right to place judgment on a family whom you do not know based on one situation you might have seen during a visit to a restaurant. You don't know anything about them or their kids, or what their situation was at that time.
I have a really hard time believing that the OP is a teacher. Preschool or day-care "teacher", maybe?
So am I the only one who went to restaurants as a child, that had kids menus to color, draw, or do word searches on? Even better were the restaurants that had etch-a-sketches. This was in the early to mid 80s. Other than technology being improved, I don't see the difference. I don't understand why some people see the need to constantly engage their child either in conversation.
This is an interesting point. I will say, though, that I see a huge difference in my kids when we are playing a game together or drawing on one of those activity place mats together or word jumbles... even reading the menu, etc... and when they are allowed to bring their hand-held games in to the restaurant to play. When they have their hand-held video games... their focus is on the screen. You become more of an interruption into what they are doing. When you are doing the coloring or building or word jumbles or whatever... there's much more opportunity for interaction and family togetherness type fun fun.
We don't usually allow our kids to bring the hand-held video games into the restaurants, but there have been a few times over the years when we've been on long road trips where maybe a few of us were hungry but one child wasn't... so they would ask if it was OK, and we allowed that child to bring in their games so they had something to do while the rest of us ate. They often don't like to do that though because they are afraid it might get lost or ruined. When we take long trips, sometimes we are just too exhausted from the driving or time change or whatever, anyway, so sometimes it is really nice to use those kinds of situations for some quiet time.
I remember vividly this one time in a very noisy restaurant... I think it was a Red Robin... one of those hamburger joints... We had been driving all day and stopped to get burgers for dinner. We tried to talk while we waited for our food, but the noise was so loud in the place we just simply stopped talking. My husband gave the kids their games and they played until the food got there. We try to avoid really loud places like that, but when you're on a road trip you often don't know what to expect.
This is why I think it's wrong to judge when you don't really know what the situation is. If you worked at the restaurant, or were there every day, and saw the same family come in regularly and it was always the same with them pretty much ignoring their kids... that would be different. But just going off random families you see at random places - but never the same family more than once... I don't think that it is right to judge. Once in a blue moon isn't going to harm a child, but if it were a regular thing, that would be really bad.
Think of how many parents put the DVD player on for their drive to school!
How many is that?
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That is quite funny that you would wonder about my teaching abilities because I observe people when I go out. That is what teachers do all day. We observe children and help them when they need it. I can multitask you know.
I find most of the comments by everyone quite amusing.
Multitasking is not an issue. Preconceived notions are an issue.
THis is about the 6th time I go out to a restaurant and see this. This is the scenario.
Two adult (I'm assuming parents) and ONE child. The two adults are conversing and enjoying dinner and the child is sitting next to them watching a dvd on a mobile player or playing video games. The two adults never pay attention to the kid except to ask him/ her if finished eating and the kid never puts his/her head up to talk, doesn't pay attention to adults, and only eats. No family conversation or involvement and the child is immersed in technology.
What happen to conversation during dinner and getting the child involved? and I"m not talking about teenagers or even preteens. The children I've seen all seem to be under 8ish. Then parents wonder why they don't know anything about their own child.
I have mixed feelings about the situation. What we have to remember is that young children have very short attention spans. So, waiting 10+ minutes for the food to come can seem like a long time for them. Also, most children are not going to be able to have a long conversation as their primary source of entertainment. I
On the other hand, once the food comes, I can't see why the parent would allow the child to continue to play games. I do think that children should be taught table manners and how to behave when they are at a restaurant.
P.S. The OP was just expressing her opinion of an observation. Some of the comments seemed out of line and far fetched. What she observed at dinner has nothing to do with her ability as a teacher.
And that is what is wrong with teachers. First they are the first to label, judge and even diagnose.
Whoa!! Hold on! One teacher makes a comment and you announce that all teachers are judgmental?! There are hundreds of thousands of teachers in the world-- please hold off your judgment until you've met at least 3/4 of us. I didn't think that it was very judgmental, but I was going to argue the other side anyway--instead, I'm going to bed.
I think you are judging a situation that you know nothing about. How do you know if this child is autistic or ADD/ADHD? This might be the only way of keeping him calm in a restaurant. Maybe the parents have had bad experiences w/ sitters and prefer to take their child w/ them. Maybe this was his reward for a good grade. Maybe, just maybe this child was just diagnosed w/ cancer and the parents are letting him have every joyful minute he can have. Who are you to judge?
Being a teacher myself, I too observe children when I'm out. You are not just observing, you are jumping to conclusions on one incident witnessed. Helping is when you see a child w/ a black eye or other bruises. Helping is calling authorities if you suspect abuse. What help did this child need? He was playing a game? We don't know the circumstances. Did you not take your eyes off of these people at all to enjoy your own meal and the company you were with? People watching you might draw their own conclusions too. How much time did you ignore the person you were w/ while being so consumed w/ someone else?
Multitasking is not an issue. Preconceived notions are an issue.
Not sure why you are so defensive. Perhaps THIS particular family did have a very good reason that they had their children hooked into electronics, but to take offense and pretend that there aren't parents out there who are more than happy to put their kids in front of a screen (be it television or a hand-held video device) rather than taking an interest in their children's lives is absurd.
People have a right to their opinions and if they don't agree with yours, there is no reason to oppose their opinions as if you have some sort of insight to a family you didn't ever see. Your opposing it with such vehemence is no different that the person making a judgement without knowing the facts.
As for families watching their DVD players on the way to our neighborhood school (our neighborhood is considered a "walking neighborhood" which means that everyone lives within whatever amount of distance is deemed "close" by the school district...in layperson's terms, that means less than a 5 minute drive)...if you'd like me to actually count the number of people pulling up, I'll do that for you. It would not be an exaggeration to say that every day, there are at least 20 and that's only the people I see drive by while walking my daughter to school. No doubt the number would rise if I just sat in front of the school counting.
There ARE children who cannot occupy their own time for even 5 minutes. Those are not children with ADD or another issue that would excuse it.
All this technology that is supposed to make our lives easier and give us information that we never had so readily available and yet here we are, our economy in the toilet (despite our bosses and co-workers being able to reach us anywhere at any time) and our kids are not any smarter. Texting has allowed people to forget how to spell, our kids can get in a chat room and talk to someone across the globe but still probably couldn't find that location on a map, and people now get to listen in on someone's phone conversation instead of having a face-to-face talk with them at dinner.
I love technology...I like this website which I found enormously helpful when moving to a new city, I order things on the internet all of the time, and I do research on everything from big-ticket items to recommended books. I was glad I had my cell phone when our car died in the middle of nowhere during the dead of winter...the list could go on. But there is a time and place for it. It's rude to talk on your cell phone when you are with a "live" person. It's silly not to have a conversation with your kids who have been at school all day. You don't have to be "super mom" and keep them actively engaged for hours at a time talking. But there are a lot of parents whose kids have the latest and greatest gadgets yet the parents can't even tell you who their kids' friends are or if they are being picked on at school.
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