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I read your first post a couple of times before responding. It seems that you are upset about the notes you are receiving. As someone who has taught young children for a while, I can tell you that most parents want to know what's going on in the classroom and in social situations. It sounds as if the teacher is doing her best to keep you informed. Many teachers automatically send home notes to parents when the child is breaking the classroom rules (such as not taking turns or acting out on the line). I'm sure that other parents are getting notes too. You cannot expect the teacher to have a special set of rules for your child, especially since she does not have an IEP.
I will say that the notes should be a bit more clearer as to what the teacher expects. For example when I send a note home, I ask the parent to discuss the situation with their child. I also use the note to let the parent know what will happen if the rules are not followed. So, when you speak to the teacher, find out what outcomes she is looking for.
As a teacher, it is hard to find the right balance. It seems that we are either communicating too much and we get complaints about why we are sending notes or calling, or we don't call or write notes enough. It is frustrating because it's hard to make everyone happy.
I think the two teachers who weighed in, hit the nail on the head. The teacher is communicating with you what is going on with your daughter. Have a very frank conversation with her about how you appreciate her being very involved and the notes, you would like to hear the positives too.
There are many books that are written that say you should focus on what your child does best, not the negatives. If she is excelling in reading, concentrate on that, help her discover books she loves, ask the teacher to do the same.
Good luck; it's great you are being proactive with your daughter, I am sure it will are work out!
You've gotten some good advice.
Here's a few things that come to mind, from a mom of 4, an early childhood professional and one who taught private Kindergarten for a few years in a private child care center.
First, if your school is similar to ours, every child gets a note home each day with some kind of behavior indicator on it. Last year my son's K class used a color system and if they had more than one incident a day there was a note written with the color. This year they are doing daily conduct grades written in a planner that parents must check and initial.
So, it's entirely likely that many children are getting notes home, not just your daughter, as it's their way of communicating concerns. It's the easiest and quickest way to communicate with a parent. Teacher's can jot a note down quickly. Taking the time to talk to the parent in person or on the phone is much more time consuming.
Second, as a parent, I'd be volunteering in the class so that I can see my child interacting with the class in order to better understand what's going on. Perhaps some of the notes are things that are just meant to let you know and then be dismissed as no big deal. Maybe some things she is doing are things you can work with her at home, like taking things away from others.
Last, of course you should have a conference with the teacher now that school has been in session a few weeks. The teacher can't work with you on your concerns if she doesn't even know what they are at this point. Additionally, the teacher needs the opportunity to discuss with you where she sees your daughter in regards to abilities and overall behavior. She's been taking this time to teach the children the rules of the classroom which fit the notes going home. She's also been taking this time to academically assess the children. None of that had been done when you had your initial discussion.
I'd want to know if my child seems to be unable to listen and follow directions or is too busy being distracted or social to listen and follow directions. I'd want to know if my child is truly trying to do the work that is being sent home, or is she messing around instead and not getting it done. I'd want to know if she was simply trying to play with the others when she took the ball or did she take it to be mean. All sorts of those things would be good indicators of what actions you and the teacher can take to help her succeed in Kindergarten.
If, after your conference with the teacher you don't feel as if your concerns were addressed or if you don't see progress in the next few weeks, then take your next step to the principal.
Second, as a parent, I'd be volunteering in the class so that I can see my child interacting with the class in order to better understand what's going on.
I think being in the classroom is a great idea. The first day of every school year - I look at volunteering activities although I work full time in a very demanding profession - it doesnt matter - it is a priority to ensure the teacher understands my commitment to their education, success and the school. And more importantly, I see them in their classroom and that interaction - its invaluable.
As for the rest- go with your gut and instinct - you know if something is wrong and if you really think about it - you know deep down how you will feel best that its handled. Good luck and let us know how it works out.
I think being in the classroom is a great idea. The first day of every school year - I look at volunteering activities although I work full time in a very demanding profession - it doesnt matter - it is a priority to ensure the teacher understands my commitment to their education, success and the school. And more importantly, I see them in their classroom and that interaction - its invaluable.
As for the rest- go with your gut and instinct - you know if something is wrong and if you really think about it - you know deep down how you will feel best that its handled. Good luck and let us know how it works out.
IMO this depends on your child. My daughter actually thrives when I am not in the classroom. When I come in and volunteer, she starts acting up, trying to draw attention to herself and is very unruly. She asks me to come in more; and I have the same talk with her, if she acts terribly, I won't come back in. Sadly I haven't been able to volunteer for her I try once a year give her the benefit of the doubt.
My son however is fantastic when I am in the classroom, more energetic, more engaged, and loves it when I come in and help out! Go figure....
My daughter is 5 yrs, was born at 31 weeks, and is developmentally delayed - speech wise, and I would say she is catching up fast, but mentally, is probably at that 3.5 - 4 yr stage. She started KG this year. When school started, we had met with her teacher and had explained to her about her, she is a smart child, and is catching up fast, but still is definitely not where an average 5 yr kindergartner is at.
It is now a month since she is going to school ( year round), and almost daily I am getting notes from the teacher about how she is not listening, following instructions, the TA complains to my son ( 2 yrs older) about how she did not listen to her today OR was not paying attention. The Friday folder has work that is sent with notes on how she is not doing this, would not understand the instructions...
Second time this week, a "sad gram" has been sent home for our signature - for taking a ball from another child and throwing it away/ and about her not keeping quiet in line.
While I realize this is a public school, and the teacher has 19 other kids to deal with, I am completely convinced the right approach is being taken in dealing with my child. I have requested a parent-teacher conference. My question is - how should I go about dealing with this? What should be my approach? I am aware, depending on how things go, we should probably have her repeat a year in KG. This will help her. But I also want the teacher/school to be open to dealing with a child who is developmentally behind, but who is catching up quickly. Any suggestions, anyone? What would you do if you were in my place?
Thanks,
Beth.
I think that your daughter should be assessed for special education, she may benefit from being in a kindergarten classroom that is a smaller size, geared for children who are a little bit behind. This does not mean that your child will be in special education forever, it just means that for right now, she may benefit from some extra attention and the skills of a teacher who is specially trained in working with children who maybe slightly developmentally delayed.
My daughter was put in special education in 3rd grade, because she was not reading. I honestly thought that my world had ended, and my daughter was going to be labeled "special". That did not happen, she just got extra help from a special reading teacher for an hour a day, in a class with other kids who could not read very well either.
Now, she is in high school, and while she still needs help with math and reading, she is doing fine. I am fortunate that she recieves extra help with her school work.
The assessment process is that different specialists will assess your daughter, a school psychologist, a special education teacher, maybe even a speech therapist. Your daughter will be assessed for hearing and vision problems, has she had these tests? There maybe other things going on, maybe she can't hear very well, and that is causing other problems.
Or maybe this teacher is not a good fit for your child. Maybe you should take a day and go see the classroom, and how your daughter interacts. Although, with you there she may not act the same as usual. If you don't think this teacher is a good fit, maybe she can be changed to another class.
I agree with the IEP and special ed.
Maybe she needs to be out of the classroom part of the time with a para or special ed. teacher who has less kids and can help her.
So many kids are in some form of 'Special Ed' so do not think it is a stigma.
As both a parent and Kindergarten teacher (former public Pre-K teacher as well) it sounds to me like it would be a lot less frustrating for both of you to pull her out this year and put her back in a Pre-K setting, just to give her the gift of time to mature physically, mentally and socially. You want her first year of public school to be a positive experience for her and the way things are going it doesn't seem to be the case. I think that would be a wiser choice than having her repeat Kindergarten. It just doesn't sound like she's ready for a structured Kindergarten class yet. Just having some extra time, can work wonders!
I would keep two things in mind for the conference. It's not as important that she is sending the notes, as what is she doing in class to work with your daughter? This teacher may just be the type to send notes on everything to keep you in the loop, but she is handling it and it's fine. But on the other hand, she might be the type to do very little or take a negative approach. I would ask what her interventions are, and how she views the 'problem'. She may just not be the best fit for her and you could request a change. If she is trying really hard that's great. Also, as others have said you can request an evaluation for your daughter. If you do, the school is legally obligated to do so and you cannot be refused. Attention problems are very common for preemies (I had preemie twins) and it can be accommodated in the classroom.
I don't understand the problem. The teacher is keeping you informed of the deficiencies of your daughter's behavior. I would certainly hope she wouldn't just ignore it because your daughter is a bit slow! If she is disruptive, both you and the teacher need to address it because it's not fair to all of the other children, regardless of the fact that your daughter is developmentally delayed. That means nothing to a bunch of 5 and 6 year olds!
It took until post number 6 until someone got it right....I was beginning to think I was the only one that feels the same as you do.
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I try once a year give her the benefit of the doubt.
