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So I'm trying to convince my wife to move to either San Diego or Palm Beach County in Florida and one argument I can't win is Day Care. She wants to stay close to family so we can pawn off our kid on our family and save about 10-12,000 a year on day care cost. So my question is: is day care a huge factor in choosing a place to live? after 10-12K a year we are looking at 50-60,000 for day care and Should day care be a huge deciding factor on where we live? we make decent money but I am a cheap Midwesterner however I just don't want to NOT move only because day care cost is too expensive. Is day care cost a deal breaker for moving?
Yes....daycare would nix a moving decision. How about wait till your child(ren) are at least pre-school age, daycare costs go down dramatically, and then even more, once you only need afterschool care.
Besides the huge cost factor, if you have family to rely on for your children's early care, your children will be way better off in the long run. I am a working parent, so I am not criticizing families who both parents feel they need to work outside the home, but young children (3 and under) have very little socializing needs, and develop stronger bonds with caregivers when in smaller groups (siblings only, grandparent only, nanny only, etc...) than when placed in daycare centers. These bonds have been shown to be the initial development that is essential to developing into successful learners (love equals education at this level).
If I were you, I would try to put off the move until you are at least past the baby age (age 3).
I would prefer a certified child care provider than family. Of course it depends on the situation - but "pawning off" is likely going to create resentment on the pawnee at some point. No, if its not a major financial concern (and it doesnt sound as if it is) I would not consider it. Now I would consider family being far away and missing the bonding time with the child - 2 different issues IMO.
I would prefer a certified child care provider than family. Of course it depends on the situation - but "pawning off" is likely going to create resentment on the pawnee at some point. No, if its not a major financial concern (and it doesnt sound as if it is) I would not consider it. Now I would consider family being far away and missing the bonding time with the child - 2 different issues IMO.
$10,000 of a $50,000 income is not a major expense? That is one fifth of their income. Yes I do realize everyone budgets things differently, but that seems very significant to me.
I do agree that if the situation is truly a "pawning off" that could create problems. Remember just because it is free (dollars-wise), doesn't make it actually free. Family members have been known to use situations such as this, as a means to control you because you depend on them for one thing or another. It is something to be considered.
Don't underestimate the value of having family around while your children are young. Even if you still take your kids to a daycare, they are still invaluable. What if you want to go on an overnight outing for an anniversary or other special occassion? It's almost impossible to find someone willing that you can trust to take your kids overnight besides family. What if your child is sick and you don't have any sick days left at work or are unable to leave without causing a problem with your job? Having family around can be a lifesaver. Then there is the whole family bonding thing.
I've mostly raised my kids without the benefit of grandparents or other family around. I've often been envious of those that had that benefit. Would I give up an excellent job opportunity just for that reason? No, but it would certainly weigh significantly into my decision if I had comparable job opportunities close to family.
BTW, from experience, 4 hour car rides to go see grandma are no fun with kids!
Last edited by geekduo; 09-10-2009 at 08:02 PM..
Reason: added
It's certainly something to consider. Daycare can be a huge cost, and the cost (assuming you were to pay, and weren't getting free family daycare) can vary greatly by region.
And while this isn't what you asked about, it is relevant to the need for daycare: remember that jobs are very tough to find right now in California (worse than in many parts of the country), so some of this is a moot point until at least one of you gets a job lined up. Given that the economy is so bad, and that so, so many people in CA (don't know what it's like in FL) are out of work or have reduced hours, the chances of both of you finding work right away (and therefore having need for daycare) is going to be very slim.
And, for what it's worth, it was our experience that while cost of living is much higher in southern California than it is in Wisconsin, the salaries weren't all that different. That, combined with economic troubles (and high price of daycare and babysitters, plus often troubled public schools) is why so many Californians with young children are leaving the state. Just so you know that what your'e up against. (although I absolutely LOVE California, and think it's a great state to raise kids, if you can afford to do so.)
Another option would be to stay where you are for now, ride out the bad economy, save some money, and move somewhere else when your kids are ready to enter elementary school. You'd still need some daycare if you're both working, but like someone pointed out above, the costs of daycare for older kids is less than it is for infant or toddler care, and you wouldn't need it for as many hours.
It's a good point to consider. But are you sure you have family that will be willing to watch a child or children, for free, for so many years? I know friends who used family to watch their child or children, but usually it was just for the first year or so, or they paid grandma (not as much as a daycare cost, but it was still an expense). Might be something to discuss - unless one of you has VERY generous family who LOVE children, it's risky and possibly a little selfish to assume they're going to watch the kids for free until they are old enough to go to school.
it's risky and possibly a little selfish to assume they're going to watch the kids for free until they are old enough to go to school.
No, my mother in law is young for her age and she is a stay at home mother who told us that should would watch them. She used to run a child care center for adopted kids. We wouldn't be moving for another 2.5 years anyways to answer an earlier question.
They also say it's cheaper to have a person stay home and watch and raise the kids than to be working.
In Oklahoma (where most costs are less than on a coast) it costs $13.00 a day for an "older" child meaning a toddler. A baby at 6 weeks + up to a year ranges from $18-$20 a day. If you are not a professional that can be a pretty pricey sum a year... even if you are a professional and have a good salary, with the economy turning down it might be better to stick around and have Grandma babysit.
I have had my children both in daycares and in home care. I much prefer the daycare we had but. But it was a small town where if ANYTHING happens it gets spread around and everyone knows. There is no privacy from rumors and reputation is EVERYTHING. They also had very very low turnover for the daycare workers. The whole time my girls went there they had the same manager and almost the whole staff was the same also. I would have preferred a relative to keep them but I am the only child/only grandchild soooo I don't have many relatives here. My mom works still but she manages weekend visits and otherwise.. we had to do daycare. I think it would be a deal breaker for me if there was other options.
I guess I'm just old-fashioned, but IMO putting your kid in day care is a last resort out of economic necessity, not something you do for your personal comfort or convenience. Doubly so when you include the "moving away from family" factor unless your family is so crazy that you don't want your child around them.
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I think it would be a deal breaker for me if there was other options.
